1. You know that scene in “The Cutting Edge” when Doug goes to the Mosley estate for the first time, and Kate totally dismisses him, and then Jack tries to pay him off for his trouble, and in the course of the conversation explains that all the guys who came before Doug weren’t “pressure players”, and then Doug wads up the check Jack wrote for him, counteroffers “double or nothing”, and drains a perfect shot into the fireplace accessories in the swanky office, and then Jack decides that Doug is totally the guy for the job, and then it cuts to Kate eavesdropping outside the office, and she’s all, “Oh, I just came to say goodbye,” and Jack’s all, “Doug’s going to be staying with us for a while,” and Doug’s all, “I’ll see you at practice tomorrow,” and Kate’s all, “Whaaaaa?” and Jack’s all, “It’s the end of the line, honey”? You know that one? That’s exactly how we want the Devils’ new coach hiring to play out. With Lou as Jack, someone awesome as Doug, and Jamie Langenbrunner as Kate. When TG gave an informal rundown of the people he thought were in the running for the coaching gig, he seemed to suggest that the captain/coach relationship was something that had to be considered in the hiring process. But why? WHY????? What on earth has Langer done to prove that he deserves that kind of respect? We want Lou to hire a coach just to spite Langer. Hey, if it backfires and the team loses, how would that be any different from him hiring a coach Langer does like?
2. There are three words/phrases we never want to hear on television again: a) bra, b) family jewels, and c) isn’t is shame that players use composite sticks because they break all the time and wooden sticks never, ever broke and the sun shone every day blah blah blah. Get over it, cranky wooden stick people! They weren’t perfect and we all like players shooting harder and more accurately, so sit down and your dumb wooden card table, punks, and shut up.
3. Unrelated to hockey, we’d like to suggest something for corporate America: “taking a driving day”. It’s like a sick day, but you get to cash it in whenever your commute takes twice as long as normal (provided your commute is longer than 30 minutes to start with). On that note, Pookie will be enjoying a very nice driving day tomorrow after her two fucking hour commute this evening.
4. Schnookie thinks this “taking a driving day” thing should also apply to commutes shorter than 30 minutes. Because there was that one time a few years ago when there was an accident between her office and home, and it took her fifteen fucking minutes to get home. She’s owed that back, with interest, and will be enjoying a day off tomorrow too.
5. We know we’ve mentioned in this space that we were planning a controlled burn for our hockey fandom, and can we just say? It is awesome. All that figurative underbrush was building up in the metaphorical forest of our fandom, and this postseason has afforded us a chance to manage a modest little forest fire to clean everything up. With the Devils out, we just don’t care anymore (other than the delicious elimination of the Caps), and won’t care again until October. It’s like we’re going to wake up next fall in a sparkly-new forest, where some strange team will have won a Stanley Cup we weren’t watching, and it’ll all be fine. Meanwhile, summertime is awesome… and there’s a WORLD CUP right around the corner! WOO HOOO!
Here’s hoping your new coach is tall, good lookin’, has shiny teeth that are still attached to his jaw, can curse in several languages (French Canadian does not count), and chews glass. I mention the chewing glass thing because my first boyfriend had this talent. (he had all of these qualities, actually). I was so star-struck at the time he made all other earthlings pale in comparison. This star-struck period will give you fond memories once he over stays his welcome. And yes, when I saw this glass chewing trick at a party I said to my friend – “He’s either a super hero or a lunatic”. Guess which one.
DB Sweeney should totally be your next coach!
And I know you guys have given up on the playoffs and you don’t like the Habs, but I highly recommend the damage these guys are doing to my cardiac muscles.
And yes, when I saw this glass chewing trick at a party I said to my friend – “He’s either a super hero or a lunatic”. Guess which one.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: The former, right? Please don’t disillusion me about our new coach ALREADY! :P (I’m so excited that the Devils are going to hire a former boyfriend of yours! Maybe then we can use the personal connection to get free — or even just deeply discounted — tickets…)
“He’s either a super hero or a lunatic”. Guess which one.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can’t wait to find out if the Devils new coach is a super hero or a lunatic!
DB Sweeney should totally be your next coach!
Wait, DB Sweeney was Tram’s first boyfriend??? :P
Well, Doug from The Cutting Edge always reminded me of him – hence the rambling analogy. Oh, and once things began to sour with him (which was fairly quickly) he kept trying to fix me up with his friends who played hockey.
Yeah, Habs! The Wings awoke from their coma tonight too. I know, no one besides me wants to hear about the Wings. Happy Driving Day Everyone!
he kept trying to fix me up with his friends who played hockey.
He chewed glass AND tried to fix you up with hockey players? This guy sounds like a DREAMBOAT! He’s going to be an awesome coach for the Devils!
And I am very happy to hear that the Wings wouldn’t go quietly into the night! Some people around here might be haters, but not me. :D
I think we should hold a competition to find the next Devils coach. An America’s Next Top Model competition, and I don’t just mean an elimination-oriented competition, I mean a competition based solely on sass and whether or not you remind Tyra (in this case played by Lou and/or Stevens) of herself in her glory days. Because really, if it turns out well, we could wind up with a handful of crazy 12-week summer reality shows a year, and if it doesn’t, what’s the difference?
He chewed glass AND tried to fix you up with hockey players?
I’m going to set up my own online dating site and make those two questions on the personality questionnaire.
If Tim Gunn is somehow involved, this could be beyond awesome.
I mean a competition based solely on sass and whether or not you remind Tyra (in this case played by Lou and/or Stevens) of herself in her glory days.
That. Is. Genius. Genius! And yeah, Tim Gunn could totally be their Mr. Jay.
and I don’t just mean an elimination-oriented competition, I mean a competition based solely on sass and whether or not you remind Tyra (in this case played by Lou and/or Stevens) of herself in her glory days. Because really, if it turns out well, we could wind up with a handful of crazy 12-week summer reality shows a year, and if it doesn’t, what’s the difference?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am giving you a slow clap for that suggestion — it’s BRILLIANT! GENIUS! (And with Tim Gunn mixed in? He could be the Janice replacement judge. Just… wow.)
He could be the Janice replacement judge.
You can either be an interchangeable part or an… airplane mechanic!
You can either be an interchangeable part or an… airplane mechanic!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Truer words were never spoken.
I feel like someone like Clarkson would be the Nigel, too…
There would really be no point to having him there, seeing as he doesn’t do anything useful and even if he did, his opinion would have no effect on the outcome, but he’d be good looking and he’d pout at the camera a lot and since Tyra (Lou, obviously) is so taken by his charming smile, he’d stick around.
I didn’t know the -Ooks were soccer fans! Did you guys see this months issue of Vanity Fair? I’m pretty sure my legs gave out when I saw it. I started flirting with the cover… “Why, hello Cristiano, fancy meeting you in the Barnes & Noble. Come here often?”
I started flirting with the cover… “Why, hello Cristiano, fancy meeting you in the Barnes & Noble. Come here often?”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Nice! I’ve seen pictures of it, but not been in its presence in person. That’s probably a good thing, because I’d get all flustered and drop things and generally make a fool of myself. :P (We are not soccer fans in any real sense of the term. We’re World Cup fans. :D)
but he’d be good looking and he’d pout at the camera a lot and since Tyra (Lou, obviously) is so taken by his charming smile, he’d stick around.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Hm, that’s a very good comparison! And Nigel serves as the panel’s resident non-Tyra photographer who shoots the girls two or three times a season, so it seems like there’s kinda a legit purpose for him (besides the hotness), and likewise, Clarkson has two or three short stretches of useful hockey in him per season. This comparison is spot-on!
And good morning, everybody! It’s FRIDAY! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
wraparounddostres, what?! Nigel doesn’t do anything useful?!? I beg your pardon! He’s very useful in pervily checking out all the girls while still managing to be extremely charming and wonderful! I heart Nigel and will be devastated if he ever leaves the show. DEVASTATED! But Clarkson is a pretty good Nigel analogy. Nigel’s dashing accent and occasional snarky bon mot are the Clarkaround for ANTM.
Kim, we’re fans of the World Cup but never pay attention to any other international or MLS soccer. But the World Cup is undoubtedly the greatest sporting event — better even than the SCF. I’m so excited! I’ll have to check out Vanity Fair when we get it here at the library. Am I going to have to rip the cover off and then blame it on an unruly customer? :D
Nigel’s dashing accent and occasional snarky bon mot are the Clarkaround for ANTM.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::
I heart Nigel and will be devastated if he ever leaves the show. DEVASTATED!
I, too, am a Nigel fan, because it doesn’t matter that he only does one or two useful things a year (aside from “pervily checking out all the girls) since he’s cute and he has a wonderful accent. After all, isn’t that what life is about?
Val’s endorsement for Hitchcock: “Well, he’s fat and funny looking, so that’s a plus.”
Realistically though, why can’t the organization admit that now is finally the time for Head Coach Holik!?!
I fully support driving days!
World Cup fans is perfectly acceptable. That’s like being Olympic Hockey fans.
In only 9 days, I’m crossing the ocean to spend two weeks in Quebec. This trip was planned a while ago, and I’d never thought there was a small chance the habs might still be alive by then… But they HAVE to win this round for that. Otherwise I’ll arrive to find a devastated city.
Well on second thought, if they do make it to the conference finals right before I arrive, I might find a devastated city too! :P
That’s like being Olympic Hockey fans.
Right! Only cooler because it’s the World Cup! :D
Well on second thought, if they do make it to the conference finals right before I arrive, I might find a devastated city too!
A conference finals against Boston? The Red Cross better get ready to move in.
And Flyers, if you’re going to roll over and die tonight, could you at least bring a few Bruins down with you?
Hey guys! I’m at blogging conference all day. And I came across this and thought of you.
http://twitpic.com/1lu9fc
Teehee! Blackhawks YMCA style.
Go Canucks Go!