1. You know that scene in “The Cutting Edge” when Doug goes to the Mosley estate for the first time, and Kate totally dismisses him, and then Jack tries to pay him off for his trouble, and in the course of the conversation explains that all the guys who came before Doug weren’t “pressure players”, and then Doug wads up the check Jack wrote for him, counteroffers “double or nothing”, and drains a perfect shot into the fireplace accessories in the swanky office, and then Jack decides that Doug is totally the guy for the job, and then it cuts to Kate eavesdropping outside the office, and she’s all, “Oh, I just came to say goodbye,” and Jack’s all, “Doug’s going to be staying with us for a while,” and Doug’s all, “I’ll see you at practice tomorrow,” and Kate’s all, “Whaaaaa?” and Jack’s all, “It’s the end of the line, honey”? You know that one? That’s exactly how we want the Devils’ new coach hiring to play out. With Lou as Jack, someone awesome as Doug, and Jamie Langenbrunner as Kate. When TG gave an informal rundown of the people he thought were in the running for the coaching gig, he seemed to suggest that the captain/coach relationship was something that had to be considered in the hiring process. But why? WHY????? What on earth has Langer done to prove that he deserves that kind of respect? We want Lou to hire a coach just to spite Langer. Hey, if it backfires and the team loses, how would that be any different from him hiring a coach Langer does like?
2. There are three words/phrases we never want to hear on television again: a) bra, b) family jewels, and c) isn’t is shame that players use composite sticks because they break all the time and wooden sticks never, ever broke and the sun shone every day blah blah blah. Get over it, cranky wooden stick people! They weren’t perfect and we all like players shooting harder and more accurately, so sit down and your dumb wooden card table, punks, and shut up.
3. Unrelated to hockey, we’d like to suggest something for corporate America: “taking a driving day”. It’s like a sick day, but you get to cash it in whenever your commute takes twice as long as normal (provided your commute is longer than 30 minutes to start with). On that note, Pookie will be enjoying a very nice driving day tomorrow after her two fucking hour commute this evening.
4. Schnookie thinks this “taking a driving day” thing should also apply to commutes shorter than 30 minutes. Because there was that one time a few years ago when there was an accident between her office and home, and it took her fifteen fucking minutes to get home. She’s owed that back, with interest, and will be enjoying a day off tomorrow too.
5. We know we’ve mentioned in this space that we were planning a controlled burn for our hockey fandom, and can we just say? It is awesome. All that figurative underbrush was building up in the metaphorical forest of our fandom, and this postseason has afforded us a chance to manage a modest little forest fire to clean everything up. With the Devils out, we just don’t care anymore (other than the delicious elimination of the Caps), and won’t care again until October. It’s like we’re going to wake up next fall in a sparkly-new forest, where some strange team will have won a Stanley Cup we weren’t watching, and it’ll all be fine. Meanwhile, summertime is awesome… and there’s a WORLD CUP right around the corner! WOO HOOO!