These are dark times at stately IPB Manor. The corrupt ruling priest classes of PandoNation and PaulieMartinNation have been walking on eggshells as the free agency period has drawn closer, and today the first horrible blow was dealt: PandoNation’s emperor-god is no more.
After the initial shock wore off from hearing the news, and after several hours of ululation, shrill keening, and much rending of garments and hair, the corrupt ruling priest class of PandoNation, stuck working their day job, got online with the corrupt ruling priest class of PaulieMartinNation to discuss how to move forward. Pookie greeted the news in her typical implacable fashion — she declared that Pando was, at that moment, ascending to Interchangeable Parts Heaven in his fiery chariot.
Unlike some gracious fans of players who have played their entire careers with one team, Schnookie does not embrace the notion of Pando wearing another team’s sweater. She proclaimed to Pookie, “I am so far beyond not wanting him to go to another team, to the point where he is, until he retires, literally invisible and dead to me. Pando as a non-Devil doesn’t exist.” Pookie, ever the cooler head, had higher hopes: “I don’t want him going to another team. I want him to melt the waiver wire with the glow of his heavenly chariot.”
Whatever happens to Pando the hockey player, the streets of PandoNation are running red with blood tonight. When the chaos and violence subside, the remaining citizenry will pull up stakes and head out to -Nations far and wide; someday all that will be left of a once-proud civilization will be the crumbled foundations of its temples, the pottery sherds in its garbage pits, and the base of its towering sculpture centerpiece, with its inscription “My name is Pando, king of kings. Look upon my works ye mighty and despair”.
I’m so so so so so sorry! It’s no fun imagining somebody like Pando in another jersey. If I see him in one, I won’t tell you. Will that help?
Whatever happens to Pando the hockey player, the streets of PandoNation are running red with blood tonight.
Will we see a new Twitter account called PandoNationCopCar? :P (Too twitter-inside?)
Thanks, Patty. Just keep whatever Pando does from now on to yourself. :P (And yeah, I don’t get twitter jokes. :D)
There was a hilarious twitterer named “MontrealCopCar” that tweeted from the perspective of a Montreal cop car in the middle of a post-game riot.
Is that Pando’s eulogy up there by the banner?
Is that Pando’s eulogy up there by the banner?
It’s his epitaph. :D
I hate the off season.
I hate the off season.
What are you complaining about — your guys are keeping Bertuzzi longer! (That was low, wasn’t it? :P)
It’s his epitaph. :D
:^:::::::::::::
Oh, poor Pando. Would you be okay with him playing in Lowell?
Would you be okay with him playing in Lowell?
::Blank stare::
So that’s would be a…. hell, yes? ;)
Well, you’re welcome to join me in GreenENation. (The “E” is uppercase because I wanted it to be 100% sure that it is not for mike green. yuck.) I’m a gentle leader!
I have an inexplicable crush on the Greener.
Oh, and it’s Albany now, not Lowell.
Oh, and it’s Albany now, not Lowell.
Hey, when did that happen?! I knew that they weren’t affiliated with the Furrycanes anymore, but I don’t know, I guess I assumed the River Rats just vaporized or something.
(BTW, are they the Albany Devils now or are they keeping the name? Who wouldn’t want to be a “River Rat”? Doesn’t that just conjure up the bestest imagery?)
Whoa, hey, Kris Versteeg is a Leaf now? That could be fun.
Pam, maybe it should be Greenetowne to emphasize the extra E?
This has been a particularly unpleasant free agency and it hasn’t even started yet. I’m afraid to see what more carnage awaits.
Ah. Ozymandias. The sand is coming.
(The “E” is uppercase because I wanted it to be 100% sure that it is not for mike green. yuck.)
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s a really wise precaution to take. And I love that crazy Blandy Greene, too! I’m not sure I’d consider him an emperor-god, per se, but I do love him. :D
And as for the River Rats, I feel like that’s the right team to be our minor-league affiliate. I just don’t trust that Lowell Devils crap.
This has been a particularly unpleasant free agency and it hasn’t even started yet. I’m afraid to see what more carnage awaits.
Seriously! I like to think that, after Paulie leaving the Devils, there’s just not that much more left to be able to go wrong, but who am I kidding?
Ah. Ozymandias. The sand is coming.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s the only poem (and, let’s be honest, the only line from any poem) that I know! :D
The only reason I know anything about Ozymandias is because it was included in the Monty Python sketch about ants when they started reciting “Ozymantias”. I’m very edumacated.
I was never a big fan of poetry but I always enjoyed the irony of Ozymandias.
Yeah, poetry sucks. It’s like the Maple Leafs of literature. BORING!
I was never a big fan of poetry but I always enjoyed the irony of Ozymandias.
Same here. Until, of course, it became the bitter irony of Pandomandias. :P
It’s like the Maple Leafs of literature. BORING!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I didn’t mind reading poetry but all the endless intepretation and I never understood what the professor would say it meant.
I’m the same way about modern art. I like looking at it but you loose me when you start telling me what it means. Bleh.
Basically, I’m a simple person who likes looking at pretty things.
Basically, I’m a simple person who likes looking at pretty things.
I’m so with you on that. Has Schnookie ever told the story of going to the Museum of Modern Art with our hoity-toity friend? This friend worked at a smarty-pants theater company in NYC and was very conscientious about reading smart person books. So we were a little nervous about going to MoMA with her because we’d have to be all serious about the art. Like you, I like to look at it and could easily spend hours in pretty much any art museum, but I don’t want to really think that much about it. So we’re all quietly contemplating all the art and being all good and everything. Then we found ourselves standing in front of some big famous painting of war that shows tanks and people dying and all that, and then in the foreground is this spidery thing with two big baby doll heads. It’s super-creepy and, if you’re into that kind of thing, probably very provocative. So we’re staring at it, and Schnookie and I are both thinking, “just don’t say anything, just don’t say anything”. Then the friend goes, “I call this one… ‘Baby, Baby’.” So that’s what I think of now when I see any modern art. “I call this one ‘Baby, Baby’.” And that’s my story.
My point exactly. Bertuzzi was the result of an off-season transient ischemic attack by Ken Holland. If he was occupied running the team, taping sticks, tuning up the zamboni…….that aberration would not happened. It was the lack of activity, the sedentary nature of the off-season that I blame. No one with an ample blood supply to the brain would have hired him AND given him a new contract. Either that – or Bert has some polaroids of Babcock and Lidstrom stashed away.
No one with an ample blood supply to the brain would have hired him AND given him a new contract.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Idle hands are worse than the devil’s workshop! They’re the stuff that Bertuzzi signings are made of!
Tram, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: You are SO right. They should have the free agency period happen during the season, just so the stupid salary inflation and moronic long-term deals don’t happen! It would be in everyone’s best interest!
My deepest condolences, PandoNation. This is a dark day.
Thanks, Katebits. I appreciate the condolences. It’s a day that comes for everyone, but a girl can hope it has more dignity than Pando’s demise did. Sigh. Oh well.
Ozymandias is the only non-sexual double entendre I know. I don’t know if that’s impressive or sad.
Ozymandias is the only non-sexual double entendre I know. I don’t know if that’s impressive or sad.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And good morning, everyone! Here’s hoping UFA day’s gotten all the bad shit out of its system already!
So we’re staring at it, and Schnookie and I are both thinking, “just don’t say anything, just don’t say anything”. Then the friend goes, “I call this one… ‘Baby, Baby’.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
My stomach hurts. I think I might throw up.
Drag dude. Sorry about Pando. I’m right there with you guys, Nabokov might be a Flyer by the end of the day. Yeesh.
Then the friend goes, “I call this one… ‘Baby, Baby’.”
That’s fucking awesome.
My stomach hurts. I think I might throw up.
Hang in there, Heather!
Thanks, andrew. And if Nabokov becomes a Flyer, it is probably for the best to just pretend he doesn’t exist anymore. That’s guaranteed to be a bad scene.
Heather, it’s gonna be all right, I just know it!
I’m with you, Heather. Hank and Toni both hitting the market at the same time is rediculous.
And if Nabokov becomes a Flyer, it is probably for the best to just pretend he doesn’t exist anymore.
That’s the plan.
Hey Patty, how are you doing with the whole Mike Modano thing?
andrew, I know most Sabres fans are fixated on the whole scoring thing but Hank and Toni are two of our top 4 d-men! And one of them is Hank! :P Weber and Granganannannni can’t replace them.
I know most Sabres fans are fixated on the whole scoring thing but Hank and Toni are two of our top 4 d-men!
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Sabres fans are a crazy bunch. I seem to remember, not too long ago, when Toni and Hank were our top two defensemen.
Yeah, I’m trying to avoid Sabres fans today. :P
Yeah, I’m trying to avoid Sabres fans today. :P
*slinks by Heather B without making eye contact*
Did you guys see something? :P
Pam, maybe it should be Greenetowne to emphasize the extra E
Genious! I love it!
So is Mottau gone yet?
Heh heh.
Don’t worry Heather, I’ve been away from Buffalo for a month so I don’t know what the heck is going on. Do we still have Miller? How ’bout that tall kid?
The River Rats are no more:
http://www.thealbanydevils.com/
I actually like the logo!
*slinks by Heather B without making eye contact*
haha…mcguggs, I’m pretty sure she’s talking about those Sabres fans. Not the ones here, of course.
I don’t know what it is about this year’s UFA day. I’m not as excited as I would normally be. Not sure why. Maybe waiting for this baby to pop out is taking up all of my focus.
When the hell did dustin byfuglien become a Thrasher?
When the hell did dustin byfuglien become a Thrasher?
Yesterday I think. Maybe the day before.
Salary dump for the Hawks. They also dropped Versteeg this morning. I can’t wait for them to suck again.
Pam, maybe it should be Greenetowne to emphasize the extra E
Ryane Clowe says there’s no such thing as “extra” E’s. The more the freakin merrier!
Hey Patty, how are you doing with the whole Mike Modano thing?
I’m working my way slowly through the official stages of grief. :D Thanks for asking!
I wanted him to stay, but I can see both sides: Stars need to move on, and as long as it’s not Detroit, I can understand why Mike wants to keep playing. I believe them both when they say they want to get back together when he does retire.
I’m basically in “Depression” but I can see “Acceptance” on the horizon. :D
*slinks by Heather B without making eye contact*
Did you guys see something? :P
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
They also dropped Versteeg this morning. I can’t wait for them to suck again.
I’m fine with the last part of this, but was it necessary to send Versteeg to the Leafs? I’m slightly nervous that they might be good this year. Wait… hahahaha… nevermind.
I gotcha. Good to hear that you’re working through it! It’s tough. I can see both sides too. The guy just wants to keep playing. As long as he leaves the conference (or at least the division), I’ll be happy. He’s Shark killer numero uno. I think he holds the record for points scored against the SJ franchise.
Looks like Meszaros to Philly for a 2nd rounder. Glad to see Tampa still making awesome decisions.
I’m not as excited as I would normally be. Not sure why. Maybe waiting for this baby to pop out is taking up all of my focus.
Hmm… That can’t be it. I would blame it more on the weak crop of UFAs. Definitely not the baby. :P
Ryane Clowe says there’s no such thing as “extra” E’s. The more the freakin merrier!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I do not like that Marty Biron is a Ranger.
I’m slightly nervous that they might be good this year. Wait… hahahaha… nevermind.
Woooo! That was a good one, mcguffers.
That might make Versteeg a decent fantasy pick up next year. He’ll immediately be a top 6 forward in Toronto. Although they don’t have any decent centers, soooo…maybe not.
(_# $&*()#$&*(#$ UIO:@# QWE $A Oh fuck me. I hate lfe.
Now I really want to thow up.
No way would Marty do that to us. Oh. no. Ew.
I do not like that Marty Biron is a Ranger.
Come on!!
(I’ve been watching a lot of Arrested Developement)
Seriously. The Rangers. Awesome start to UFA day.
He’s already been a Flyer. Given that, I’m pretty much cool with Marty being on any team not in the Northeastern division. Although it would have been nice to have him back in Buffalo.
No way would Marty do that to us. Oh. no. Ew.
I’m so sorry! It think the Rangers have one of those twirling things that hip-mo-tize the players and agents into signing against their will.
It would explain the looks of horror you often see on the players’ faces when they’re introduced as Rangers in the press conference. :D
Ryane Clowe says there’s no such thing as “extra” E’s. The more the freakin merrier!
That made me giggle through my tears. Thanks McG.
Biron’s a Ranger? That’s FANTASTIC news! Now we just need to convince them to rest Lundqvist on the nights they’re playing the Devils…
I just hope Biron plays instead of Lundqvist against NJ.
(Sorry, that was kind of mean.)
Gonchar to Ottawa. How much do you all think this hurts the Penguins? I am thinking (hoping) a lot.
LOL Schnookie! Great minds think alike!
How much do you all think this hurts the Penguins? I am thinking (hoping) a lot.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m right there with you, Mike!
And Pam, great minds think alike about Biron! He was so terrible against us when he was a Flyer, and as I recall, hardly a worldbeater against us with the Islanders (I wouldn’t know for sure, though — I think I missed all our Islanders games this past season)… I couldn’t ask for a better signing for the Rangers!
The Sabres are so incapable of beating the Sens that it doesn’t even matter to me if signing Gonchar makes them better. And yes, I think it hurts the Penguins.
Boucher and Skipper have NO idea of the gravity of Free Agent Day.
I’m just waiting to hear that Lou signed Mottau for another 5 years.
(There’s a link in that last post, by the way.)
I’m so sorry! It think the Rangers have one of those twirling things that hip-mo-tize the players and agents into signing against their will.
It would explain the looks of horror you often see on the players’ faces when they’re introduced as Rangers in the press conference. :D
It has to be this. Yes. Or he’s trying to take down the organization from the inside. Thanks, Marty!
Boucher and Skipper are such sweet little innocents. Let them live through a season, though — they won’t look so carefree next July 1!
I’m just waiting to hear that Lou signed Mottau for another 5 years.
I had successfully forgotten all about Mottau until you mentioned him today. Thanks for nothing, Pam!
Patty, the kittens are so so cute. (Also, I like your couch.)
I’m so sorry!
Now we just need to convince them to rest Lundqvist on the nights they’re playing the Devils…
I just hope Biron plays instead of Lundqvist against NJ.
And Pam, great minds think alike about Biron!
LOL Schnookie! Great minds think alike!
You two are so adorable.
Patty, the kittens are so so cute. (Also, I like your couch.)
Thanks on both counts!
In about 6 months, that couch is going to be at the Goodwill, probably. :D
Let them live through a season, though — they won’t look so carefree next July 1!
So true!
Gonchar to Ottawa. How much do you all think this hurts the Penguins? I am thinking (hoping) a lot.
The Pens are probably not going to be super good next year. Crazy to see Ottawa making some moves.
The Sabres are so incapable of beating the Sens that it doesn’t even matter to me if signing Gonchar makes them better.
I think Meg nailed this one on the head.
Tanguay back to Calgary. That should be interesting. God, Calgary is such a clusterfuck. Sutter must’ve had a stroke or something.
Patty, your kittens are adorable.
EEIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are some cute, cute kitties, Patty, and I NEVER squee over cats.
God, Calgary is such a clusterfuck. Sutter must’ve had a stroke or something.
Calgary is such a hot mess that even I’m beginning to recognize that through the blinders of my EC bias. And you know what? It warms the cockles of my heart.
Calgary is such a hot mess that even I’m beginning to recognize that through the blinders of my EC bias.
They’re starting to morph into the Lightning of the Western Conference.
And yes, I will admit, I love it as well.
So you’re saying not everything is tickety-boo in Calgary?
Thanks, andrew and Kathleen!
God, Calgary is such a clusterfuck.
It always amazes me how hard it is for a team to get off that road to clusterfuck once they’re on it. :D
I made a comment but it disappeared…there was a tweet that said Martin to Pitt…
hope that’s not true
It always amazes me how hard it is for a team to get off that road to clusterfuck once they’re on it. :D
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s so deep, Patty. And true!
there was a tweet that said Martin to Pitt…
If that’s true, I hate to be the one to tell Pens fans that Paulie is not a very solid replacement for Sergei Gonchar. Heh.
Oh, Schnookie, come on. Everyone knows all defensemen do EXACTLY the same thing.
Remember your season preview? (paraphrasing here):
“Paul Martin hopes that Devils fans don’t cringe when they realize he is their best defenseman”
Gonchar? Had no finish.
No, wait…
Oh, Schnookie, come on. Everyone knows all defensemen do EXACTLY the same thing.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Particularly pallid blond ones! I mean, Gonchar and Paulie share a few physical attributes, so they MUST be interchangeable!
“Paul Martin hopes that Devils fans don’t cringe when they realize he is their best defenseman”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, Paulie’s an intriguing case as a UFA. I mean, obviously, we like him a lot around here. But he’s kind of one of those players who you like a lot more for already being around, rather than the kind of player you want to bring in to fill an important role, if that makes any sense at all.
Gonchar? Had no finish.
No, wait…
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Well, they re-signed Rod “the Bod” Pelley.
I’m sorry about Paulie! (If it’s true about PIT.)
But he’s kind of one of those players who you like a lot more for already being around, rather than the kind of player you want to bring in to fill an important role, if that makes any sense at all.
Yeah, oddly enough that makes plenty of sense to a Sabres fan.
Patty, your kittens are adorable!
Schnookie, come on. Everyone knows all defensemen do EXACTLY the same thing.
Some are just better at the “defense” portion of the word than others.
Well, they re-signed Rod “the Bod” Pelley.
WOOOOOOOOO!!! EGG!
Pittsburgh’s bad. I’m pulling for Hank to either go to a really bad team or a Western Conference team. Preferably a really bad Western Conference team.
Pittsburgh’s bad.
Well they certainly will be if they’re counting on Paulie Martin to QB their PP!
::throws eggs in the air::
::rethinks that::
::throws egg-colored confetti::
I’m pulling for Hank to either go to a really bad team or a Western Conference team. Preferably a really bad Western Conference team.
The Stars fit that bill!
Now some ESPN loser is saying LA wants Paulie as well
::throws eggs in the air::
::rethinks that::
::throws egg-colored confetti::
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I wish Brian Rolston was a UFA
Pens sign Z. Michalek, out of the Paulie sweepstakes. Or so they say.
Michalek went to Pitt, so maybe Paulie won’t.
Jinx, Heather!
I’m watching NHL Live and Eric Belanger is adorable.
Now some ESPN loser is saying LA wants Paulie as well
Tampa is supposedly looking at him too.
I wish Brian Rolston was a UFA
Dammit, Pam, I’d forgotten about him, too! :P
Is Michalek good? I’d never even heard of him until recently but I admittedly watch VERY little WC hockey. Worth 4 million per?
Wyshynski:
Scuttlebutt all day about Modano getting a low-cost one-year contract from Detroit.
Eww. Let’s hope that’s not legit.
Is Michalek good? I’d never even heard of him until recently but I admittedly watch VERY little WC hockey. Worth 4 million per?
He’s good, but not $4m good. Solid stay-at-home defenseman. Eats lots of PK and even strength minutes, blocks a ton of shots, doesn’t score any points.
Think Volchenkov, but without the hitting.
Oh, Mike. Do not go to Detroit.
Eww. Let’s hope that’s not legit.
I’ll take back everything nice I said about Modano if that happens.
Eww. Let’s hope that’s not legit.
Patty, I’m sending you an internet scotch. Drink it down. Quickly.
Patty, I’m sending you an internet scotch. Drink it down. Quickly.
Good thinking, andrew. Patty, I’m so sorry (if it’s true)!
There’s still plenty of Brahms left! He hasn’t gone to DET yet! There’s still hope!
Oh, I don’t think there’s any actual rumor of a contract. That’s just the “He’s from there! Therefore he wants to play there!” kind of speculation. Please, God.
Shitty-maki signed with the Sharks
Bob McKenzie saying that Nittymakis is a Shark! (Is that good?)
Bob McKenzie saying that Nittymakis is a Shark! (Is that good?)
It is if you don’t like the Sharks. Sorry, andrew.
Heh. Sorry, Andrew.
I had kind of forgotten that Nittymaki was still in the NHL.
Oh, gosh. Sorry, Andrew! Would you have preferred Turco? I was kind of hoping Turco would be a Shark. I have no idea why. I l like to think he’ll have a good couple of years before he tanks for good.
Heh. Sorry, Andrew.
S’cool. I’m not worried about it. I think they’ll probably jettison Griess. In the meantime they just want someone who will push Stalock. Nittymaki is fine, when he’s a backup. Stalock is the future for SJ.
looks like Auld to Montreal and Colby Armstrong to Toronto (at $3m per. Wow.)
He’s the one who broke the Labatt sign the last time Tampa played in Buffalo, right? Hee.
Hey guys its KG. I don’t like this whole Paul Martin thing might leave! :(
Maybe Andrew can get Joey’s Kittymaki jersey signed!
Speaking of cats, Patty, those two are adorable!! And they look like they’re ready for trouble.
CheeseTed for $3m per? Wow. That’s… a great signing, Burkie. :P
Maybe Andrew can get Joey’s Kittymaki jersey signed!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That would be awesome!
Colby Armstrong to Toronto (at $3m per. Wow.)
Being that I have a terrible head for math, I’m usually not up on what constitutes over-payment, but dang, $3 mil a year for Colby Armstrong?! That’s fucking insane.
Colby Armstrong to Toronto (at $3m per. Wow.)
That just made me laugh out loud for some reason.
And this is no good. I’m supposed to be packing but I’m glued to NHL.com.
Maybe Andrew can get Joey’s Kittymaki jersey signed!
Whosiwhatnow?
CheeseTed for $3m per? Wow. That’s… a great signing, Burkie. :P
Superfantastic. Toronto overpays by about $2m per year. In other news, water still wet.
Speaking of cats, Patty, those two are adorable!!
Thanks, mcguffers!
Maybe Andrew can get Joey’s Kittymaki jersey signed!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Malhotra to Vancouver. 3 years/$75.m/no-trade clause.
Bummer. That actually sucks. I really liked him with SJ
From Spector’s Hockey (this morning):
NEW YORK POST: Mark Everson reports if Devils GM Lou Lamoreillo fails to re-sign Ilya Kovalchuk and/or Paul Martin he’ll use his cap space to add depth to his defense corps and perhaps a third or fourth line forward. It’s speculated John Madden might return with the Devils.
That bit about Madden is not even funny in jest!
That should say $7.5m. Which is overpayment.
Then again, I think everybody is overpaid. Except me. I should definitely get paid more.
I loved Malhotra when he was a Star, but 75 million is excessive!!
That should say $7.5m.
Oh. Never mind. :^::::::::::
Then again, I think everybody is overpaid. Except me. I should definitely get paid more.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I think that’s a sign that I’m getting older, because I think exactly the same way now. Way back when, I thought these salaries were reasonable! Nowadays I’m like, “If they’re getting anything more than a nickle a week, it’s a travesty!”
And I overcompensated on that $75/$7.5 typo. I realized no one (not even the craziest of the crazy) would sign Malhotra to a $75 million contract, I figure the correction was to move two decimal spaces instead of one. I was like, “Three years at $.75 total for Malhotra is a DAMN good signing!” Because, you know, the PA wouldn’t care about shit like minimum wage. I’m very smart. :D
It’s speculated John Madden might return with the Devils.
That bit about Madden is not even funny in jest!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
It would be weird for Madden to be back on the Devils with no Pando.
andrew, I’m with you. I’m clearly a Darcy Regier-raised fan because I just look around, shrieking, “This is madness!” I’m not good at Free Agency Day.
Whosiwhatnow?
One time when I was shopping, I found a reflective vest for pets that looked just like the Flyers Sing Sing uniforms, so I make my cat Joey a Kittymaki jersey.
I’m a dork. I own it.
Kittymaki
It would be weird for Madden to be back on the Devils with no Pando.
It would be stupid, is what it would be. But what better way to usher in the New Arnott Era than with maximum stupidity? (Mind you, Mark Everson makes Bucky Gleason look Pulitzer-caliber, so there’s not often any reason to pay attention to what he’s saying.)
mcguffers, i must be a dork too because i think that’s fantastic!
mcguggs, that Kittymaki picture is one of my favorite things ever.
Yea, I was going to mention that Mark Everson is a shit-eating bag of hot air.
The Kittymaki jersey is the awesomest thing I’ve seen all week.
I found a reflective vest for pets that looked just like the Flyers Sing Sing uniforms, so I make my cat Joey a Kittymaki jersey.
That’s awesome! Nice craftsmanship. I will totally get that signed for you.
I’m clearly a Darcy Regier-raised fan because I just look around, shrieking, “This is madness!”
For sure. The stupidness of free agency day can be summed up in two words: Jeff Finger.
Thanks guys! I took the jersey out while I was visiting my dad to prove just how much fatter Joey’s gotten. It looks like a baby tee on him.
Morris re-signed with Phoenix for 4 years at $11m. Just goes to show what one hot playoff run can do for you. I call it the “Brooks Orpick Effect”.
I call it the “Brooks Orpick Effect”.
Jaro Halak is keeping his mouth shut.
I’d like the Devils to sign Hamhuis. For no reason other than I like his name.
Jaro Halak is keeping his mouth shut.
The memo was written in English. I think the Montreal front office thought it was a flyer for landscaping services or something. They threw it away.
Jody Shelley is back in the Pacific. Phoenix just signed him to a 3 year deal. Cripes. 3 years? For Shelley? I like the guy, but damn.
Andrew was that PHX or PHI for Shelley?
The memo was written in English. I think the Montreal front office thought it was a flyer for landscaping services or something. They threw it away.
Haha! That explains Gomez. Someone needs to get an interpreter for that damn organization.
Jody Shelley for $3.3/3? Whatever, Flyers.
Andrew was that PHX or PHI for Shelley?
huh, now that you point that out, I’m not sure.
Either way…terrible deal! Too many years!
Dan Ellis to Tampa.
I wouldn’t have minded the Sharks taking a chance on him.
Dan Ellis and Mike Smith battled to be Turco’s backup back in the day. Smitty could be great, but he hasn’t been yet. Maybe the two of them can add up to something good.
Dan Ellis to Tampa <3
Marty St Louis!!!1
I LUFFS Manny Maholtra. Too much moola but I'll take that much over Armstrong or Shelley.
That’s a fun duo. But I wouldn’t have minded him being a Sabre, not one bit.
Paulie allegedly a Penguin. Some expert guy also saying that now means the last offensive d-man is off the market. Did I miss something?
I saw that too Heather. paulie is apparently gone
I’m SO sorry about Paulie, Ookies! SO SORRY!
(Turns out it is Pittsburgh after all. So sorry.)
I LUFFS Manny Maholtra. Too much moola but I’ll take that much over Armstrong or Shelley.
I might be biased, but I’d DEFINITELY take Malhotra over either of those two.
The Sabres are apparently in the running for Coliacovo.
Pierre thinks we’re trying to run Cody Hodgson out of town because we signed Maholtra. LOL! How dare we not just hand the kid a spot?
Sniff sniff. I would have loved to have Paulie.
Apparently the Sabres might be looking at this guy, maybe. I’m not sure I’ve heard of him other than I think he has an olive oil named after him. But apparently he run a pp, which is nice. On the downside, he breaks a lot.
Plus he looks like Dan Boyle’s baby brother or a second cousin to Goose, so there’s that.
Bummer for the Trannies, too, having to play with Jody Shelley.
(No offense, andrew. :P )
The Sabres are apparently in the running for Coliacovo.
Isn’t he one of those guys who is always hurt?
Dan Ellis to Tampa <3
I”m sure he enjoyed being a Hab for that 37 minutes.
The Sabres are apparently in the running for Coliacovo.
Isn’t he one of those guys who is always hurt?
Just how we like ‘em!
Oh no. So sorry about Martin, Devils fans. And to the Penguins. Eww.
Dan Ellis to Tampa <3
I”m sure he enjoyed being a Hab for that 37 minutes.
I’m sure he opened up his 9th-grade French book and thought, “You know what? No.”
Oh wait, now that I’ve bothered to sound out that guy’s name instead of thinking “olive oil!” I HAVE heard of him. And he was a Leaf. Hmm.
Meg, yes, he is. He played 60+ games the last two seasons though. Before that is not good though.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: *GASP* ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
That Boogard deal
I’m sure he opened up his 9th-grade French book and thought, “You know what? No.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He saw news video from this years playoffs and 07-08, and went, “So that’s what happens when the team wins? Oh God…”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: *GASP*
That Boogard deal
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The Rangers like to do something sane (let Shelley go) right before they do something insane. :D
Paulie apparently got the dreaded 5/25 in Pittsburgh.
Yea alix, I’m with you!
Boogaard is just what the NYR needs! LOL
He saw news video from this years playoffs and 07-08, and went, “So that’s what happens when the team wins? Oh God…”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Hah, the Rangers are totally insane. This doesn’t make up for kidnapping Marty (yes, I’m going with kidnapping now), but it helps.
From TBN’s UFA liveblog: 2:42 p.m.; Breaking news form the Sabres’ Twitter site!!!! The ninth annual Street Hockeyfest will include an all-girls division!!!
Heh. Oh, Sabres.
Also, Boogers is getting $6.5/4? Like, for reals?
Heh. Oh, Sabres.
Maybe they got confused and think today is June 31st!
Lydman to the Ducks, Sabres fans. Sorry! Unless you’re okay with it.
Maybe they got confused and think today is June 31st!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::
Darcy: 30 days hath September, April, March, and November-
Lindy: April, JUNE and November
Darcy: Seriously? Whoops. Too late now, huh?
Ack! Toni is a duck?!?? Gross.
Lydman to the Ducks, Sabres fans. Sorry! Unless you’re okay with it.
I hope this means they’re going to sign Hank now.
I don’t HATE it. I mean, good for him. But I really don’t like the Ducks. Bummer.
3 million for Toni? That’s… not bad. Maybe the Sabres didn’t want to give him that third year. Hopefully this means we’ve zeroed in on Hank. Maybe?
Hopefully this means we’ve zeroed in on Hank. Maybe?
Fingers crossed!
But I will thank Toni for going about as far away as possible. I can remember him more fondly this way.
I was always thought of him as Toni “Lewd Man”
(No offense, andrew. :P )
None taken, Shelley hasn’t been a Shark for a while. I could care less!
Lydman to the Ducks, Sabres fans. Sorry! Unless you’re okay with it.
Most certainly not okay with it. That’s a double whammy. I lose a guy I like on a team I love to the Ducks. ugh.
MY WORLD IS CRUMBLING AROUND ME!
Off to my friend’s pool.
I was always thought of him as Toni “Lewd Man”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The corrupt ruling priest class of PaulieNation has studied the entrails and has determined it was time for them to get some fresh players to erect triumphal arches for.
i guess maybe i’m the only person who thought all along that while paul martin and lou lamoriello were saying the right things that both understood that paul martin wasn’t go to re-sign with the devils and that this all goes back to his ‘nondisplaced’ arm fracture that was going to keep him out for only several weeks and eventually needed surgery and a stimulator implanted in his arm…i think he very dearly wanted to play in the olympics and he is going to be very bitter about this for a long time and that’s what is behind what finally happened today…at least that is my take on all of this…
it was time for them to get some fresh players to erect triumphal arches for
That’s the spirit! New entrails for everyone! WOo!
Sorry he went to Pittsburgh though. Lame.
don, whenever they say “I want to test the UFA market and see what I’m worth” that means “I’m gone”. I knew he was leaving too.
The Kazoo will be turning and dialing it up in Phoenix now. 2 years at $3m per. Good for him. Glad to see him still playing, and well at that.
exactly right, pam…while 5 years is a long term deal, his annual salary is exactly what most people thought it would be, so that certainly wasn’t a deciding factor he could have gotten that salary in a few different places and maybe even that exact same deal elsewhere also, at least that how i see it
Most certainly not okay with it. That’s a double whammy. I lose a guy I like on a team I love to the Ducks. ugh.
That IS a bummer. Whenever I think of you as a fan of one of your teams, andrew, I forget about the other team. :P I forgot that you, the Sabres fan, would care about the Ducks. So sorry about that. Nobody wants their players to be Ducks. :P
3 million for Toni? That’s… not bad.
It’s positively sane, I think. The Ducks are gross but I think he’ll fit in well there despite that.
Yeah, don, I have to agree that it was pretty clear that Paulie was going. Two years ago I would have been convinced he was staying just because he seemed like such the classic “take the easy road” kinda guy (based on what he said about signing his first contract outta college), but yeah, I think that injury was a lot uglier than, well, than I want to know about, you know? Oh well. Greener will just have to step it up!
Remember how we were making fun of the Flames earlier? Now they’re saying they are working on a deal with Olli Jokinen!
I forgot that you, the Sabres fan, would care about the Ducks. So sorry about that. Nobody wants their players to be Ducks.
It’s a whirlwind, to be sure. On the up-side, when the Sharks and Sabres make a trade I’m always happy. Unless of course Jeff Jillson is involved.
The Ducks are gross but I think he’ll fit in well there despite that.
With all of the Finns they’re stockpiling, you’re probably right. As for his playing style, who knows. The Ducks D corps is a hot mess right now. No idea how they’ll try to utilize him.
Certainly is a nice day for signing with gross teams. Maybe Regier was making room for that Tomas Kaberle trade by letting go of Lydman. Someone go clean up Roy-z and stick a bow on him.
Greener will just have to step it up!
And Greenetowne will be anxiously watching!
Remember how we were making fun of the Flames earlier? Now they’re saying they are working on a deal with Olli Jokinen!
It’s like now they exist soley to entertain us.
Someone go clean up Roy-z and stick a bow on him.
I’m pretty sure Roy comes pre-loaded with a bow. It’s stock.
OMG! The Devils stole Hank! Heather is NOT going to be happy!
(I’m so sorry, Heather! SO SORRY!)
WTF?!?!?!?! Devils get Tallinder?!? Huh. I don’t know how I feel about that.
Congratulations on your brand new Hank, Ookies.
My condolences, Heather.
Tallinder in NJ?
Is he good?
Four years? For Tallinder? Oh boy.
Oh. man. Heather is going to kiiiiillllllll you guys.
yeeeesh. Sorry Heather.
Greener will just have to step it up!
i know everyone might laugh, but i’ve always liked salmela, when he has recovered from his torn ACL surgery he can skate and he has a very nice shot from the point, and everyone keeps talking about ‘moving the puck’….sooooo….lol
I’m pretty sure Roy comes pre-loaded with a bow. It’s stock.
And an ascot.
Seriously, who’s playing defense for us this year? Can Rivet do it from the penalty box? Are Sekera and Butler both going to play in the same games instead of just tagging each other out?
Wait, crap. Do we have any D-men left besides the tall kid? Ruh-roh.
Seriously, who’s playing defense for us this year?
Seriously.
Even the commenters over at BoC have taken notice. That’s bad. Their EC blinders are like Ookies WC blinders.
I’m pretty sure Roy comes pre-loaded with a bow. It’s stock.
And an ascot.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to both of you.
Can Rivet do it from the penalty box?
Isn’t he going to be out for the beginning of the season with shoulder surgery or something? So I think Montador is going to be the one in the box.
Are Sekera and Butler both going to play in the same games instead of just tagging each other out?
Nope.
Heather, I’m so sorry!
don, I love Salmela! Good old Batshit Crazy Salmela. I’d forgotten about him.
Four years? For Tallinder? Oh boy.
Yeeeeah. We’ll just tell him to not block Guerin’s shots with his arms/wrists and maybe he’ll be okay?
I’m gonna put myself in the “doesn’t love Salmela” camp! He’s still better than Mottau/Murphy. But then again, so am I.
Their EC blinders are like Ookies WC blinders.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Yeeeeah. We’ll just tell him to not block Guerin’s shots with his arms/wrists and maybe he’ll be okay?
Well on the plus side, I think one of his arms now has the protection of a metal plate. But there’s still the shoulder and ankle to cause problems.
I am decidedly not happy that the Sabres lost both Lydman and Tallinder.
I am decidedly not happy that the Sabres lost both Lydman and Tallinder.
Did Darcy make a serious push for either of them? Does anyone know?
Volchenkov?
But there’s still the shoulder and ankle to cause problems.
Oof, I didn’t know about the ankle problems.
Did Darcy make a serious push for either of them? Does anyone know?
The Sabres & Lydman disagreed over the third year. That’s what the dealbreaker was.
Isn’t he going to be out for the beginning of the season with shoulder surgery or something?
I forgot about that. *headdesk*
Their EC blinders are like Ookies WC blinders.
I laughed at this, but I always get Edmonton and Calgary confused. It’s not blinders though. I’m just a moron.
Marty Biron is going to be on the radio in a few. I love Marty interviews. I don’t know if I can bear it today though.
Oof, I didn’t know about the ankle problems.
I don’t think they’re ongoing…he’s just missed time with a high ankle sprain once or twice.
The Sabres & Lydman disagreed over the third year. That’s what the dealbreaker was.
Oh, that’s right, I had read that somewhere. Well I hope there’s a plan B.
I laughed at this, but I always get Edmonton and Calgary confused. It’s not blinders though. I’m just a moron.
HA! I hear yeah. That’s the other plus for two team followers…throughout the year I pretty much have to watch every single team in the league.
Rumor is NJ is close to a 6 year deal with Volchenkov.
Rumor is NJ is close to a 6 year deal with Volchenkov.
Sigh. Volchenkov is on my short list of guys I think are criminally overrated. But hey, it could be worse! At least he’s not Arnott! Wait, what’s that? Sigh…
- Martin+Tallinder+Volchenkov
I’m okay w/ that.
I think the day could have been worse.
Ugh, I hate shot-blockers! Oh well. Maybe he’ll block those shots that Marty would let in with seconds left in an elimination game.
Maybe he’ll block those shots that Marty would let in with seconds left in an elimination game.
That’s a very positive way to look at it. I’m proud of you, Pookie!
I think the day could have been worse.
Yeah. One of your favorite players could have signed with the Leafs. (I don’t care if it’s been a year! I’m not over it okay?? Fucking Komisarek.)
That’s the other plus for two team followers…throughout the year I pretty much have to watch every single team in the league.
I should try that, because following two teams in the same division just makes me hate the Bruins and the Senators more. Meh… I guess that’s not a bad thing.
What is a bad thing is my upstairs neighbor practicing his bass. You suck, dude. You fucking suck.
Okay, I think what Marty is saying is that the Rangers just wouldn’t stop calling and writing and sending flowers and candy and poetry and finally he just gave in and said “FINE. I’ll go out with you.”
Maybe he’ll block those shots that Marty would let in with seconds left in an elimination game.
That’s a very positive way to look at it. I’m proud of you, Pookie!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I don’t know who that person is and how they hacked into Pookie’s account, but I want it to stop.
Has anyone else visited Top Shelf, yet? I went over there to leave Heather a consoling comment, but now I’m laughing too hard to do it, even if I could locate the comment button. Poor Heather!
Well I hope there’s a plan B.
Pommer on defense! Hey, whatever gets him out of the top six, right?
I remember Volchenkov was good for Ottawa when they went to the Finals in ’07. Haven’t heard much of him since then though.
I went over there to leave Heather a consoling comment, but now I’m laughing too hard to do it, even if I could locate the comment button. Poor Heather!
Too funny! And also sad.
Well I hope there’s a plan B.
Pommer on defense!
So THAT’S the plan.
Shit.
Even sadder than my html skills. Which are clearly pretty damn sad.
Even sadder than my html skills. Which are clearly pretty damn sad.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And Top Shelf is currently the blog embodiment of the saddest music in the world. At which you can’t help but laugh just a tiny bit.
even if I could locate the comment button
:^::::::::::::::::::::: My laptop blocked the song, so all I could see by scrolling was a video of Craig Ferguson and a picture of sad Marlow. Which kind of fit. Now that the music’s playing, I’m trying so hard not to laugh while she’s feeling so much pain!
Make sure you have the sound on when you visit Top Shelf today!
And I’m glad you guys enjoyed it because that’s it now and forever. :P
Pommer on defense! Hey, whatever gets him out of the top six, right?
Christ, no kidding. I really hope he figures his shit out this year.
Ookies, don’t be bummed about Volchenkov. He’s good. Plus, the guy hits like a godamn freight train. It’s always fun watching someone on your team lay people out.
Poor Heather! Too funny though.
Yeah, I didn’t have the sound on. That makes it so much better.
And Top Shelf is currently the blog embodiment of the saddest music in the world. At which you can’t help but laugh just a tiny bit.
I’ll be honest, I had to reload her blog multiple times before I could look at it with a straight face. Genius. Broken hearted genius.
I found out about Tallinder (via 4 simultaneous text messages) just as I was paying for dinner, and I swear the waitress thought I was insane. She handed me the bill just as I opened the first message. “OH SHIT! Oh, sorry, no, the food was great! No seriously, it’s fine!”
Pommer on defense! Hey, whatever gets him out of the top six, right?
Christ, no kidding. I really hope he figures his shit out this year.
Oh I can’t wait til October…
And I’m glad you guys enjoyed it because that’s it now and forever. :P
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
It IS the saddest music in the world. I’m so sorry!
Sabres signed Jordan Leopold.
Good news Patty. They’re saying Modano to Detriot doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen.
Bad news Patty. Looks like it might be the Kings or Ducks.
Devils just signed Johan Hedberg. Right. Okay.
Wow. So we get rid of Hank and Toni for some guy I’ve never heard of. I think I’d be more upset, but I’m watching Tosh.0 and it’s just too darn funny.
I hope Heather gets taken out for a nice dinner tonight.
some guy I’ve never heard of.
Amazingly, I have. I don’t remember what I heard about him, but I’ve definitely heard of him.
Good news Patty. They’re saying Modano to Detriot doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen.
Bad news Patty. Looks like it might be the Kings or Ducks.
Modano is some kind of genius if that’s true. Tells me something horrible so as to make the merely bad sound good. :P
I’ve heard of Leopold a lot because he’s been a WC foe, but I can’t tell you anything about him except that the mad scientist in the Bugs Bunny cartoon with the big orange monster talks about his brother Leopold in his best Peter Lorre voice. And that’s all I ever think about when his name is mentioned.
Saku Koivu is staying Anaheim.
the mad scientist in the Bugs Bunny cartoon with the big orange monster talks about his brother Leopold in his best Peter Lorre voice.
I would not be completely shocked if that’s why the Sabres picked him up.
I keep thinking of that really bad Meg Ryan movie “Kate & Leopold” whenever I hear about the newest Sabre. It’s going to be a long three years if I don’t break myself of that soon.
Devils just signed Johan Hedberg. Right. Okay.
You know what I’m going to do EVERY SINGLE TIME I THINK OF HIM this season? I’m going to say what Blobby Holik did when he was asked about him a few years ago — “Oh, what’s-his-name?” It’s gonna be good times.
Hedberg, eh? Old What’s His Name!
How did I not know Hedberg is so old?
I think I can explain that signing though. He and Kovalchuk must have been snuggle-buddies on road trips while playing for the ATL, and this is a shrewd move to re-sign Kovy by Lou. No one snuggles better than Moose.