Ilya Kovalchuk: Inventing The Concept Of An In-Limbo Maybe-Devil

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Ilya Kovalchuk: Inventing The Concept Of An In-Limbo Maybe-Devil

July 21, 2010 by Schnookie

The scene: ChucklesNation International airport, in the deserted arrivals hall.

Gary Bettman darts out of a shadowy doorway, slinks around the perimeter of the hall, forages a half-eaten cinnabon from a garbage can, hisses softly at the Ookies, then scurries away.

The Ookies: “We got our cymballs out of storage for that?”

Posted in *Clank!*, Bummerdude, Devils, Free Agency, Huh?, Ilya Kovalchuk?!?!?!? WTF????, Insightful Hockey Commentary, News and Notes, Off-Season, Players Come Players Go, Sad, Sadder, Saddest, The Opposite Of Pandodoodling, This Is No Laughing Matter, Totally Totally Depressing | 13 Comments

13 Responses

on July 21, 2010 at 4:34 pm Mikey Peluso Likes It

Kovy consolation prize: Brian Rolston!
on July 21, 2010 at 4:39 pm Schnookie

Kovy consolation prize: Brian Rolston!

::Bursts into tears:: That’s the cruelest thing I’ve heard yet about this whole disaster! :P
on July 21, 2010 at 5:55 pm Kellyn

::Bursts into tears:: That’s the cruelest thing I’ve heard yet about this whole disaster! :P

The Brian Rolston consolation prize: Jason Arnott.
on July 21, 2010 at 7:20 pm ohsofancy

Sad, sadder, saddest indeed. With saddest being Brian Rolston.

This stinks ‘Ookies, sorry they rained on your cymball parade!
on July 21, 2010 at 8:24 pm Schnookie

The Brian Rolston consolation prize: Jason Arnott.

AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! It gets horribler and horribler!

Sad, sadder, saddest indeed. With saddest being Brian Rolston.

Heh. This is where I’d use a grotesque winking emoticon, but I don’t think my laptop’s keys can conspire to convey well enough my sadness. (Thanks for the sympathy. It’s totally raining on everyone’s cymball parades. :( )
on July 21, 2010 at 9:29 pm Tram

I’ll gladly trade you a Todd Bertuzzi today for a Brian Rolston tomorrow.
on July 21, 2010 at 9:36 pm Pookie

Touche, Tram, touche.
on July 21, 2010 at 9:37 pm Schnookie

Touche, Tram, touche.

Not so fast — how long’s his contract and what’s the cap hit? :P
on July 21, 2010 at 9:46 pm SueNJ97

I have a possible solution: could NJ offer Rolston (not his contract, unfortunately, that would have to stay on the cap and take up roster space) but just Rolston to Bettman as his unpaid errand boy for the duration of the deal if he will just let the Chuckles contract go through?

Bettman gets someone to order around and he doesn’t have to pay him (JVB will still be paying), we don’t have to look at Winky anymore and NJ gets Chuckles.
on July 21, 2010 at 9:57 pm Pookie

I think you’re on to something there, Sue!
on July 21, 2010 at 10:25 pm Douglas

Evil league office. Must be infiltrated by crummy Ranger fans.
on July 22, 2010 at 4:33 pm carolbrowne

Did someone say Batman or Bettman?

http://www.blameitonthevoices.com/2010/07/this-dog-is-yelling-batman.html
on April 9, 2011 at 10:08 pm A Eulogy For The 2010-2011 Devils « Interchangeable Parts

[...] storyline is all about Chuckles. First, we Chucklesdoodled when he signed with the Devils. Then we sat in stunned silence when his contract was voided. Then we gave the Devils a piece of our mind for so cravenly preying on our Chucklesthusiasm. When [...]