Just before the start of this season we had big plans to invent a champagne cocktail that incorporates a Chuckles candy in honor of the bright Kovalchuk future of the Devils. We were going to style it all fancy, with a vast, Sandra Lee-esque tablescape in shades of red and black. And then we got distracted by something shiny, wandered off, and never did it. Perhaps the Hockey Gods intervened without our knowing it, though, because it seems far more apt to look beyond just the champagne drink and instead review the entirety of the still-young season in cocktail form.
The Chucklestini
Fill a shaker with ice. Add 2 oz. vodka, 2 oz. cranberry juice, and 3/4 oz. cointreau, and shake well. Strain into a cocktail glass and add a black Chuckle.
The Sudsy Chuckle
Angrily pour a can of beer into a beer mug, creating as much unnecessary foam as possible. Drink the beer. Garnish the dregs with a green Chuckle.
The Chuck-Two-Oh
To a plastic patio glass add one yellow Chuckle. Top with plain, unflavored seltzer.
The Cat’s Pajamas
Fill your pet cat’s bowl with tap water and set aside. When the cat has naturally added chewed-up mice to the bowl, float an orange Chuckle.
The Shallow Grave
Find a secluded patch of dirt and dig a small hole. Drop a red Chuckle into the hole and cover lightly with dirt.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: *gasp* :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: *splutter* ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I wanted to copy and italicize precisely what made me laugh, but it ended up being the entire post. Genius.
Hee hee! Thanks, Mags. I’m not going to lie — we cracked ourselves up with this one. It’s been in the works for a while now. I think the best part was Pookie coming in through the front door this morning and announcing, “I’ve been scouting shallow grave locations…”
“I’ve been scouting shallow grave locations…”
Which can’t be that odd of a thing to say in New Jersey.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, Pookie and hundreds of other people were out there this morning doing exactly that.
Which can’t be that odd of a thing to say in New Jersey.
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Oh, my gosh! That’s hilarious! And so, so, so sad. :(
That’s hilarious! And so, so, so sad.
You know how it goes — it’s not funny unless someone gets hurt, right? Heh.
I find myself incapable of staying angry when presented with Patty’s kitten picture avatar thingy. I just sort of go “awwww, look at his weeny face!” and squee at it. And that’s my story.
Mags, you’re so right. I’m going to need to bookmark Patty’s comment so I can look at it during the Devils-Rangers game.
the Devils-Rangers game.
I’m going to give that one a miss. Not because I need to get up early tomorrow to study, but because I honestly dread it. I’m a coward, what can I say? I hope the kitten helps though! I’m sure it must, that’s some powerful mojo that bitsy cat has.
Glad I could help!
Mags, I’m feeling a little cowardly myself, so I don’t blame you! Good luck studying tomorrow!
Okay! Dinner’s all ready and I’m parked in front of the TV at 7:00 for the first time this season… maybe that’s what the Devils have been missing?
That has to be it, Schnookie!
Do you know what I NEVER want to see again? I never want to see Kovalchuk passing to Langer on a rink-length two-on-one. I mean, COME ON.
With each passing game I become more enamored of Taormina, to the point where I’m starting to wonder if I never really liked Pando the player, but rather just like Devils #20. :P
I’m starting to wonder if I never really liked Pando the player, but rather just like Devils #20.
Sounds like this is going to be a season of discovery! Mazel Tov!
Patty, :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Mazel Tov!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
It’s a season of mishegas. It’s all facacta! Oy vey!
It’s all facacta! Oy vey!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Nanny’s Mom to Nanny’s Grandma: I’m putting in my will that when I die, you are NOT! Putting this! Brown Pebble! FACACTA LINOLEUM! in my CONDO!
(Probably my favorite line from that whole show.)
I’m putting in my will that when I die, you are NOT! Putting this! Brown Pebble! FACACTA LINOLEUM! in my CONDO!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Dano, responding to something Steve said during the intermission show: “That’s right, Cangy.”
Us, in unison: “CANGY? That’s Gel-O, Dano.”
Oh, second periods, you’re so predictably awful!
That power play was staggeringly awesome. In that I’m awed by how terrible it was.
Because I’m in a good mood today, I’m finding this PP comical. I suspect if I’d watched the end of last night’s game I wouldn’t be feeling quite so generous about it.
“I’ve been scouting shallow grave locations…”
Which can’t be that odd of a thing to say in New Jersey.
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Well, at least you can put this down as one positive for the Chucklenation experiment… What’s the score, again?
I admire your Devils beer mug. Very foxy.
I admire your Devils beer mug. Very foxy.
Heh. I was looking for our pilsner glasses and was stunned to open an infrequently-used cabinet in the kitchen and find two of those Devils mugs in there. I don’t remember when we got them, and I really don’t remember us keeping them. :P
What’s the score, again?
I’ve decided that “score” is something I’m not going to pay attention to this season. Just the way “off-season news” was too annoying to follow this summer, “how badly the Devils are losing at any given moment” is more than I want to have to cope with this fall.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Radio City Christmas Spectacular commercial! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Although it loses several magnitudes of “EEEEE!” for not having the “fill your heart with Christmas” song. Hmph.
Although it loses several magnitudes of “EEEEE!” for not having the “fill your heart with Christmas” song. Hmph.
Maybe it’s working up to that. Later commercials will build to a crescendo.
In fact, I think that must be the Devils’ plan.
(Is it just my Center Ice version or does it sound like Doc is calling the came through a tin-can telephone from his tree fort?)
Later commercials will build to a crescendo.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It better be a hell of a crescendo. Both for the Radio City Christmas Show and for the Devils. :P
(And yes, Doc is sounding a little tin canny tonight.)
And my concluding thought about tonight’s game was that I was expecting it to be a lot worse. Sigh.
I just caught the last minute of the Devils vs. Rangers game. Oof. Sorry about that.
Love your Ookies chandelier in the top photo! Classy!
Thanks for the sympathy, Carol. And more than that, thanks for thinking our chandelier is classy! That was the first “nice” thing we ever bought for a house we owned. I totally heart our dining room chandelier.
Srsly, San Jose. Have a little self-respect.
Never mind, one of the Calgary fans is a middle-aged dude wearing an unzipped leather jacket and nothing underneath except a bunch of gold (?) medallions. I transfer the aforementioned advice to him.
Also, at the grocery store today, another middle-aged man was wearing capri sweatpants and flip-flops. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!??!?!?!?!@?!@#%?? $?%?!!!!!!!!!!
I ate a lot of pizza because it was delicious, and I drank a lot of wine because it was also delicious. Whoops.
If you took out the Chuckle, the first cocktail sounds incredibly appealing. And I’m not sure whether the cat toy chuckle or the shallow grave one is my favorite though. The cat toy has artistic merit, but the shallow grave is just too much.
Radio City Christmas Spectacular commercial!
Please, for the love of everything holy, let it replace the insane Boomer & Carton commercial that airs every single break on MSG. Radio City ads on repeat I can take (for now). Boomer & the other guy, not so much.
If you took out the Chuckle, the first cocktail sounds incredibly appealing.
That’s because it’s a Cosmo! :D (The Chuckle was pretty vile by the end of our shoot with it, but then again, what’s listed isn’t what was in the glass. We… didn’t have those ingredients.)
Radio City ads on repeat I can take (for now).
That’s a big “(for now)”. I keep getting all excited about the Radio City ads, because I feel like they’re somehow restricted to a short part of the year. But when you think about it, they’re on for, like, four months. That’s 33% of my life that’s being bombarded by those commercials!
The cat toy has artistic merit
In addition to scouting locations for a shallow grave, I was also tasked with finding the most chewed up disgusting mice to toss in the bowl. :D
I’ve somehow managed to pretty much ignore the Boomer & Carton commercials. Now that you’ve mentioned them, I bet it’s all I notice!
I was also tasked with finding the most chewed up disgusting mice to toss in the bowl.
Heh heh. If we’d just timed our photoshoot better, though, there would have been mice in there already. But the water had just been changed and Favre is not very good at taking “drop your mousie in the bowl, Favre!” orders. (He did come by when we were taking the picture and made these sad little meows. Like he was concerned for his mousies and wondered if there was a lifeguard on duty or something.)
That’s because it’s a Cosmo!
Shows you how much I drink, LOL. (Even though my liquor cabinet (aka linen closet) does have vodka, soco and Jaeger in it. I just need the mixers.)
I’ve somehow managed to pretty much ignore the Boomer & Carton commercials.
Lucky you. If you hear an airhorn or some other obnoxious thing, then you’ll know it’s their ad.
Shows you how much I drink, LOL.
Well, I don’t drink them often either. I had to look the recipe up before writing this post. :D (The picture is actually of water mixed with red sanding sugar, with a splash of campari to give it a slightly less neon hue. I felt like Jamie making his poop analog on Mythbusters, as we scrounged around the kitchen looking for things that would look Cosmo-esque.)
If you hear an airhorn or some other obnoxious thing, then you’ll know it’s their ad.
Oooh, an airhorn? That sounds FUN. I’m going to pay SPECIAL attention for this! Heh.
I’ve somehow managed to pretty much ignore the Boomer & Carton commercials. Now that you’ve mentioned them, I bet it’s all I notice!
It’s almost as bad as the Center Ice commercials as far as amount of times played and high levels of annoying.
I didn’t think I’d ever use this phrase, but I love the shallow grave!
I didn’t think I’d ever use this phrase, but I love the shallow grave!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And thanks! It’s a lot more fun when it’s not your Chuckle that’s in it, though.
(I’m kidding, mostly. I have surprised myself by being extremely mellow about the shittiness of the Devils so far this year. I think having a willingness to just watch other teams really helps, and also a willingness to really lower your standards about which teams or players you think are worth watching. And then that ends up being cyclical, as the lower your standards go, the better your original shitty team ends up looking! It’s a win-win!)
It’s almost as bad as the Center Ice commercials as far as amount of times played and high levels of annoying.
Huh. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it yet! I guess this is the point where I have to awkwardly admit I’ve probably been watching a lot more CSN Philly than I have been MSG+. ::shifty eyes::
With each passing game I become more enamored of Taormina, to the point where I’m starting to wonder if I never really liked Pando the player, but rather just like Devils #20
My autographed Pandolfo picture wept a little when you said that. As for the Devils, they are an interesting train wreck right now. I actually think things will get a little better when Volchenkov comes back, there are just way too many rookie defensemen playing right now. Although I think Tallinder is worse than all of them.
My autographed Pandolfo picture wept a little when you said that.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: All of my Pando gear did, too. Although I suppose it’s a mark of the true Pando fan that you continue cheering for the sweater long after the man is gone, right? :P
And I agree that it’s easy to underestimate how much Volchenkov’s injury is hurting the Devils. But difficult to overstate how crappy Tallinder has been. It’s an intriguing juxtaposition between the two big UFA signings; they are like the yin and yang of our blue line.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to the whole thing.
So, who’s the NHL’s version of the Hanson Brothers and how many bags of pucks can we trade for them to turn this season around? We’ve already got our Paul Newman-esque older veteran player/coach (half the team), and edjicated fancy boy what don’t get dirty (New Jersey Library All-Star Parise). We just need loads and loads of goons.
We just need loads and loads of goons.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Well, I suppose the blueprint is foolproof, so we might as well start building the team that way…
Guess what has two thumbs and just got Center Ice for Christmas? Thiiiiiiiissssss Guuuuurl!
Woohoo mcguggs!!!! Now you can watch every single one of your playermeats stink it up in real time!
Congratulations, mcguggs! That is AWESOME news! Do you have to wait for Christmas, though?
Mcguffers, don’t watch any games from the Colorado or Anaheim announcers. You’ll thank me later.
Now you can watch every single one of your playermeats stink it up in real time!
That’s the real reason I wanted it. Screw finally being able to watch the Habs and the Big Amerks!
Do you have to wait for Christmas, though?
I actually thought maybe that was her catch because it didn’t come on, but I just had to call Blime Warner and demand my goods for my monies rendered. Now I plan on watching the Panthers and Leafs in 7 minutes.
don’t watch any games from the Colorado or Anaheim announcers.
I knew about the Ducks because of the Sabres road trip two years ago, but I’ll definitely add Colorado to the list. Thanks for the heads up, Mike!
I actually thought maybe that was her catch because it didn’t come on, but I just had to call Blime Warner and demand my goods for my monies rendered.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Well, welcome to the best way to be a hockey fan! There’s nothing better than having a full slate to choose from every night! (Which is why the NHL often schedules only one or two games for several nights in a row, then 15 all at the same time on the same day…)
And Mike is SO right about the Colorado announcers.
(Oh, and there’s a new post, just in time for a Sabres/Trannies thread. :D)
[...] on our Chucklesthusiasm. When the season fell out of the gate with the dull thud of a cold corpse, we made Chuckles cocktails. When Schnookie got a flat tire during our December advent-calendar themed series, we said it was [...]