The one interesting thing that came out of the Sharks drubbing was Chico’s admission that David Clarkson is now sporting a lucky elephant of some kind. What kind, you ask? We’ve used our mad reporter skillz to find some leads; we’re not entirely sure which of these elephants is most prone to wrap-arounds, but we’ve attempted to rate the likelihood of each to be the poster elephant for the Devils’ lack of luck this season.
0 out of 5 Wrap-Arounds: No self-respecting woman would be caught near these losers.
1 out of 5 Wrap-Arounds: While it does have its trunk raised “for luck”, it seems to be helping out a baseball player, not a hockey player.
2 out of 5 Wrap-Arounds: The Devils PP meetings always involve oversized, novelty tea cups, but Clarkson’s not usually at those meetings. Plus, this elephant’s trunk is in the unlucky “down” position.
4 out of 5 Wrap-Arounds: Trunk up? Check. Demonstration of mad physical skillz? Check. Appearing, on paper at least, to have everything it takes to win? Check. So what’s the one thing keeping this from being the Devils’ good-luck charm? It seems to be responding to coaching, which we all know is something none of the Devils could abide, not even in their lucky talismans.
4.5 out of 5 Wrap-Arounds: The lack of a trunk-up posture is made up for in spades by the Hambone-esque figure doing what we’d all like to do to the unlucky spirits cursing this stupid team of stupid losing losers. Oh, look who’s here! It’s the number one overall draft pick!
5 out of 5 Wrap-Arounds: If there was ever going to be a talisman standing in for this year’s Devils, it’s most definitely a disembodied elephant head that lives in a railyard.
At all of them –
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But at the last one –
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::gasp sputter:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Poor Clarkaround is really committing to his ‘pretty-but-dim’ image, eh?
Poor Clarkaround is really committing to his ‘pretty-but-dim’ image, eh?
Seriously! I don’t understand how anyone on the Devils right now would be discussing his new good-luck charm (I’m REALLY hoping there was more context than what we picked up from the broadcast last night), but I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised that it’s Clarkson.
“Stick-fondling”? That’s a term I didn’t need to hear, Stars.
That must have been Razor. He is fond of those types of comments. You get used to it after a while.
Oh, so that’s where Andrew Raycroft went.
I think the picture with the Hambone-esque figure is my favorite.
How do we not know that Clarkson isn’t sporting the new elephant as a way to compete with Zach & Boxworthy? I mean, no one could be as dignified as Boxworthy, but an elephant of affairs could be quite comical.
the Hambone-esque figure doing what we’d all like to do to the unlucky spirits cursing this stupid team of stupid losing losers. Oh, look who’s here! It’s the number one overall draft pick!
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True Story: I had an elephant good luck charm specifically for the Devils. It was purchased at the Meadowlands Flea Market, I think in 2001. It was well before we had real season tickets, and we didn’t attend every game. When we went, we used to like to watch warm ups (Look! The players up close! Squeee! (That shit doesn’t amuse me anymore in my old age)). We always placed the elephant on the lip of the boards on our side of the glass. To us, that was good luck! And they had a great winning % when we were there! The good luck elephant was even at the CAA for game 7 of the 2003 Cup finals. We couldn’t afford the tickets from a scalper to actually get in to game 7, but hey we tried, and the elephant was close enough to the arena we figured. After they won the cup, the elephant was retired.
Other good luck charms have tried and failed to recapture the magic that was our first elephant.
I imagine Clarkson’s elephant looks similar to mine. If I remember, I’ll take a picture of it!
an elephant of affairs could be quite comical.
It could! Of course, elephants also have hair-trigger tempers (or so elephant-expert Schnookie told me last night), so it could also be scary! Just Clarkson’s speed!
(Look! The players up close! Squeee! (That shit doesn’t amuse me anymore in my old age))
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: So true, so true. And that’s so wild that you had an elephant good luck charm! You know, guys… I’ve never seem Pam and David Clarkson in the same place at the same time…
Of course, elephants also have hair-trigger tempers (or so elephant-expert Schnookie told me last night), so it could also be scary! Just Clarkson’s speed!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: There is NO question that Clarkson has an elephant-of-affairs. And that elephant-of-affairs (Mouseworthy?), like Clarkson, is good for having his heart in the right place even though he never actually does his job very well.
You know, guys… I’ve never seem Pam and David Clarkson in the same place at the same time…
OMG — YOU’RE RIGHT!!! (Wait, we did see Pam at a Devils game, although we don’t know if Clarkson was supposedly “on the ice” at the time we were hanging out on the concourse…) Anyway, that is TOO funny that there is a precedent for a Devils elephant good-luck charm! (Was it a severed head that rode the rails?) I would love to see a picture of it!
elephants also have hair-trigger tempers
Lightning rod of hate alert: I hope it steps on Langer during one of it’s rages.
You know, guys… I’ve never seem Pam and David Clarkson in the same place at the same time…
*GASP* You’re RIGHT! Pam/David, is there something you want to tell us?
Okay guys, well I admit, I’m a pretty lousy skater with a taste for wraparounds. Plus, I really hate Sean Avery…
My elephant is decidedly less charming than a severed head on an old freight train!
Lightning rod of hate alert: I hope it steps on Langer during one of it’s rages.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I am going to HATE the elephant-of-affairs if it can’t get that SIMPLEST of jobs done.
Okay guys, well I admit, I’m a pretty lousy skater with a taste for wraparounds. Plus, I really hate Sean Avery…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We knew it!
I hope it steps on Langer during one of it’s rages.
If the elephant steps on the Devils logo on the locker room rug (assuming it has one of those) while in a rage, who gets appointed to tell him that he has to pay the fine?
If the elephant steps on the Devils logo on the locker room rug (assuming it has one of those) while in a rage, who gets appointed to tell him that he has to pay the fine?
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: If the Devils feel that strongly about a logo on their dressing room floor, but can’t feel that strongly about the logo when it’s on their sweaters while they’re playing games, then I don’t want to hear about them fining the clumsy elephant!
Okay guys, well I admit, I’m a pretty lousy skater with a taste for wraparounds. Plus, I really hate Sean Avery…
OMG! You’re David Clarkson! I had no idea!
If the elephant steps on the Devils logo on the locker room rug (assuming it has one of those) while in a rage, who gets appointed to tell him that he has to pay the fine?
What Schnookie said. Also, if I were that rug and the Devils showed so little regard for me that they were letting an elephant trample all over me, I’d unravel myself on the spot.
If I was Maclean, I would set the rug on fire, point to it and say “See! That’s what you guys are doing to my heart every night.”
It indeed does have one those silly logo rugs: http://twitpic.com/31x8au
If I was Maclean, I would set the rug on fire, point to it and say “See! That’s what you guys are doing to my heart every night.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Of course, that’s not really at all what he’s feeling. He’s feeling a bone-deep satisfaction at FINALLY getting the head-coaching job, and consequently the ability to bench whoever he wants whenever he wants to*, and it’s going to be MONTHS before he bothers to look at the standings. :P
*except Marty, of course.
I just came from the farm, and you know what? It’s a BEAUTIFUL day out. That’s my story.
By the way, is there anyone else here who is still OUTRAGED about the Project Runway finale?
By the way, is there anyone else here who is still OUTRAGED about the Project Runway finale?
Not me! But I will feign outrage because I have nothing better to do today!!! Damnit!! LOUD NOISES!
Thank you andrew. Your sharing in my outrage has helped to justify that I feel this way at all.
Thank you andrew. Your sharing in my outrage has helped to justify that I feel this way at all.
You know I got your back!
So, anyone want to look at opening up 4 IR slots in the Super/Amazing leagues? Because good lord, I need it.
I’m cool with more IR slots! I don’t need them now, but who knows what may come! (I’d love to toss the “3 starts” rule, but that’s another story…)
(I’d love to toss the “3 starts” rule, but that’s another story…)
haha…yeah, someone will usually get burned by that rule. You can always pull off a trade!
haha…yeah, someone will usually get burned by that rule.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. I was opposed to it when it was proposed, just for the record. :P
And pull off a trade?? Are you DAFT? We don’t trade in this league! We’re like a whole bunch of Darcy Regiers! I’m terrified my players will move on and be GOOD somewhere else. I can’t have that!!
is there anyone else here who is still OUTRAGED about the Project Runway finale?
Me! I also can’t believe how snippy Michael Kors was with Jessica Simpson. And how pithy the reunion was. Where was the explanation for the gangup on Michael C? Where was the roasting of Ivy for her case of season-long bitchface? I expect better from my reality TV.
I was opposed to it when it was proposed, just for the record. :P
I know, I know. And we can always look at changing it in the future. All I know is I took all kinds of flak over the past two years for benching goalies after a hot start to the week. I thought for sure this would make everyone happy.
But it’s just not possible. Sometimes a commissioner has to make the tough choices. That’s what they pay me for….er…well, not “pay”, but whatever.
We don’t trade in this league! We’re like a whole bunch of Darcy Regiers!
HAHA! Truer words were never spoken. I try every once in a while, but it usually doesn’t pan out.
I expect better from my reality TV.
Especially from a season that was THIS good! Man, talk about completely dropping the ball!
Sometimes a commissioner has to make the tough choices.
You really do earn your hookers and blow. Which are, by the way, totally in the mail. ::shifty eyes::
Wait… there’s a way to “hold” our IR guys and put someone else in? Hmmm.
Wait… there’s a way to “hold” our IR guys and put someone else in? Hmmm.
Yeah. Just “pick up” your guy and drop him into an IR slot. You can then grab someone off of waivers to cover.
Only works if he has the little red “IR” next to his name…so you’re sort of at Yahoo’s mercy there.
Man, I am fighting the most incredible urge to take a long lunch and hit the record shop for an hour or so.
But I don’t have any IR slots, just bench slots :/
It’s Friday! Fridays are made for long lunches… right?
But I don’t have any IR slots, just bench slots :/
You know, the drag and drop method was giving me some trouble as well. Try this: at the bottom of the page when looking at your roster you see two choices for ‘roster edit type’, drag and drop and classic. Change to classic. Then click on the box next to your player. An IR option will show up for you.
Fridays are made for long lunches… right?
They are!
Problem is that I only take a half hour lunch every day. So leaving for an hour and a half might raise a few eyebrows.
We’re like a whole bunch of Darcy Regiers!
Or when you do trade, it’s something so far under the radar that no one picks up on it.
And poor, poor Pommerdoodle failed his second neuropsych test. Shapes are killing him! (Not to make light of concussion recovery, but there’s speculation afoot that Pommerdoodle was a genius when he took the test as a rookie that he’s not living up to his own standards now.)
Poor Pomms. First the concussion, now they’re gonna take his MENSA card from him.
Poor Pomms. First the concussion, now they’re gonna take his MENSA card from him.
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You guys, I just got trapped talking for 45 minutes to a delivery guy who identified himself as a Devils fan. He was the kind of Devils fan who chews your ear off about how many times he’s met Ken Daneyko (and all the details of each meeting — “that was the time I had him sign the picture of him and my son… no, wait, that was the time I had the picture taken with him and my son. I had him sign that picture that time I met him at the Freehold Mall…”), then spends 10 minutes trying to remember Cam Janssen’s name in re: Players Who Have Played As Well As Scott Stevens Since Stevens Retired (him: “Oh, what was that guy’s name?” Me: “Zach?” Him, scoffing: “No, that’s Parise. ::shudder::” Me: “Um, played as well as Stevens and it’s not Zach? Um… really, are you sure he was a Devil?” Him: “It was CAM something.” Me, stunned: “CAM JANSSEN???? ::desperately hopes for a fire alarm or something to make this guy go away::”), and says in response to my explanation that the picture in my cubicle of me and the Cup was a season-ticket holder thing, “Wouldn’t it be GREAT to have enough money for season tickets?” (me, lighting a cigar with a $100 bill: “Um, yes, it is great.” Like, what are you supposed to say to that??). And after all of that, he then admitted it’s been three years since he’s paid any attention to the team. Oof.
Not to make light of concussion recovery, but there’s speculation afoot that Pommerdoodle was a genius when he took the test as a rookie that he’s not living up to his own standards now.
What if Pommerdoodle can’t ever match the smartness level he had when he was a rookie?
He blacked out and aced the test the first time he took it, but is actually kinda dumb?
Great, I love Lindy’s argument: Pommer is basically Will Ferrell from Old School.
“Um, played as well as Stevens and it’s not Zach? Um… really, are you sure he was a Devil?” Him: “It was CAM something.”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s when I’d toss all my “pretend to be a functioning adult and recognize that not everyone is as into hockey as me” and I’d have to explain to him JUST how stupidly wrong he is.
That’s when I’d toss all my “pretend to be a functioning adult and recognize that not everyone is as into hockey as me” and I’d have to explain to him JUST how stupidly wrong he is.
I tried, Pookie. I tried. Heh. Actually, this guy had gone into a looooong explanation of why he wasn’t able to get tickets to G7 in ’03, and part of it involved that he was taking a group of friends, and one of them was a teenager who — guy looks around to make sure no one’s listening — is not quite retarded, but is just kinda slow. As our conversation continued on and on and on and on, I began to wonder exactly how slow that kid really was, if this guy was picking up on it.
Schnookie, that is the worst. We all run into people like that once in a while, “Wow, Sharks fan huh? Cool, me too! I love Link Gaetz!” Uh, what.
I have a friend who is getting back into hockey after a looooooong lapse. He just might be worse. He’s excited for the game again but has a knowledge base that was last updated sometime around 1998. It’s tough.
He’s excited for the game again but has a knowledge base that was last updated sometime around 1998. It’s tough.
That is ROUGH. Especially when it’s a friend. When it’s just a moron stranger, you extricate yourself from the conversation as quickly and painlessly as possible, then get a few good laughs out of it. But you have to be NICE to a friend.
But you have to be NICE to a friend.
Eh, by and large…I guess. But most guys have the luxury of not having to play nice with friends. For instance, he acts like it’s the end of the world every time a defenseman turns the puck over, I can call him an idiot and tell him to sit down and watch the game.
But most guys have the luxury of not having to play nice with friends.
This is one of the things about being a guy that both horrifies me and makes me seethe with jealousy. :D
And that post is hilarious. The disembodied elephant head kind of threw me for a loop for a second, though. :D
Oh, hi Patty! I didn’t know anyone was around here! Thanks for liking the post. :D