This year we’re having a festive Devilsy holiday season here at IPB — we’re observing the joys of December hockey with a Devils advent calendar. Behind each window is a fun fact about a different player, and tonight’s window contains…
Zach Parise!
Now, we may have forgotten all about him (out of sight, out of mind, Zach. It’s time you learned), but you know who hasn’t? The State Library of New Jersey. As you probably recall, Zach is a “library champion” (because he loves to read, yo. Or he loves to have things read to him in a slow, turtle accent), and the State Library is, likewise, a Zach champion. The New Jersey State Librarian recently read an article about Zach’s injury in which Zach discussed how he is in constant pain; he even said that he feels bad for his “girlfriend” (read: turtle butler) having to take care of his sorry, moping, fishing-for-sympathy ass all day. All this fishing for sympathy worked on the State Librarian, who has now spearheaded (and we are not making this up) a movement to get librarians New Jersey over to have their patrons write Zach a get-well card. Totally seriously. New Jersey librarians take their Zach championship duties very seriously. It’s just some New Jersey librarians can write a get-well card for a New Jersey Devil without resorting to swear words better than others. Pookie’s approach to championing Zach involves a lot of f-bombs, which is why she won’t be sending him a card. In the spirit of the holiday and all. When he can lead his team out of the first round, he can get a card. Merry Christmas, Zach.
Shut your mouth Ookies, that Library Champion is the last banner we’ve put up in the rafters in years.
Wait, there’s a Library Champion banner? I hope Pookie has a Zach Champion banner in her library.
Wait, are you serious?! Dude. Maybe for next year’s summer decoration assignment, I’ll make a zillion paper doll Zachs and drape them all over the reference department.
I, for one, find it simply shocking that you haven’t done that already.
I kind of agree, Meg. That seems like something that should have happened long ago.
Hey, Meg, how’s it going? Is law school all fun and games?
Zach is still alive?
There’s a State Librarian?
A Devil was allowed to do an interview?
Zach has a girlfriend?
People are going to be sending him get-well cards?
I cannot believe Lou is allowing any of this.
I cannot believe Lou is allowing any of this.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He’s especially peeved about the State Librarian. When he finds out who allowed that, heads are going to ROLL.
(Also, very sorry to hear about the possible layoffs. I cannot believe they couldn’t have waited until after the holidays for them to announce any of this, much less have actual layoffs. Are they publicly traded? Is this one of those gotta make the balance sheet look good for the shareholders/stock prices thing? Or is it just that Ebenezer is in charge?)
Is this one of those gotta make the balance sheet look good for the shareholders/stock prices thing?
Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. This happens every year, and actually, this time around isn’t just an across-the-board RIF. They’re doing a top-down review of management layers, so unless all my bosses get the ax, I’m not too worried. (More worrisome is the whole “the building’s getting shut down and you’re all getting chest x-rays because — whoops! — ASBESTOS!” announcement today. :D)
Even sadder than the possibility that I’ve been inhaling asbestos at work for the last 7 years is the fact that ANTM ended tonight. :(
Hey, Meg, how’s it going? Is law school all fun and games?
Well I did just read a very long case about an asbestos class action suit.
But no, right now law school is no fun and no games. It turns out that outlining classes takes forever. News to me.
Well I did just read a very long case about an asbestos class action suit.
You’re hired! :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And that sucks that it’s no fun and no games. Here I thought law school was party central!
I was going to cut/paste/italisize my favorite LOL inducing portions, but the whole thing has me wheezing! “Slow, turtle accent” and “girlfriend (read: turtle butler)” are killing me. The last post’s spam message made me laugh til I coughed uncontrollably! (I do agree that your one sentence was very well written though.) Pookie’s f-bomb filled Christmas cards and Schnookie getting a shotgun to fend off the asbestos-poisoned zombies has pretty much been an awesome way to come home from work. I’m going to bed now and I CAN NOT WAIT for all the awesome-ness that will be my dreams tonight.
Oh, and I checked the games that were still going on when I got home, then mentally asked Bobby Ryan to score a goal. I refreshed the screen and *poof* Bobby Ryan had scored a goal. I am the best GM evah.
Here I thought law school was party central!
Seriously. Apparently not when exams are coming up.
I refreshed the screen and *poof* Bobby Ryan had scored a goal. I am the best GM evah.
Or, Bobby Ryan is the best employee ever :p
I am shocked that Zach is allowed a girlfriend. I assumed dating was strictly verboten (too distracting) and should a Devil decide he desired a wife, a suitable lady would be provided to him.
All the NJ librarians sending Zach a card is pretty adorable, though. Boxworthy can read a selection of them aloud every time Zach throws himself on the fainting couch in a fit of the sulks.
What’s with Yahoo pretending last night never happened? Mason Raymond got a three-way hat trick! I demand my points!!! *pounds shoes on table*
More worrisome is the whole “the building’s getting shut down and you’re all getting chest x-rays because — whoops! — ASBESTOS!” announcement today
So once you’re scanned and declared asbestos free, do you get to stay home until they de-asbestos the building?
Boxworthy can read a selection of them aloud every time Zach throws himself on the fainting couch in a fit of the sulks.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::PERFECT.
But seriously, what is the story on the asbestos? Were they doing some remodeling and stirred something up?
Boxworthy can read a selection of them aloud every time Zach throws himself on the fainting couch in a fit of the sulks.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it! (And I also thought a suitable lady was found for each Devil when he desired a wife, so we all seem to have learned something new today. :P)
As for the asbestos, I guess the building (which is pretty old — I’m guessing ’60s vintage) was remodeled and declared asbestos-free in ’98, but they recently had a problem with one air duct that feeds into three of the labs. When they explored the duct, they discovered some “construction debris” in it, and decided it looked suspicious. And sure enough, testing revealed it was a big-assed heap of disturbed asbestos. They immediately closed the building, apparently did testing all over it last night, and this afternoon I’ll find out my fate. The labs are not super-close to my office, so maybe it’s all cool? Oh well. Something’s got to get you, right?
I doubt that you had enough exposure to be an issue. Weren’t most of the elementary schools we grew up in riddled with the stuff? But you will probably have class-action lawyers (oxymoron) camped out on your front doorstep.
(This said by the woman who has used saccharin in her iced tea everyday since she was five.)
Weren’t most of the elementary schools we grew up in riddled with the stuff?
Yup! I remember I was in junior high by the time my K-12 school removed its asbestos, so I was probably eating the stuff up until then. (I shouldn’t admit that publicly, should I? I mean, I don’t want to undermine my lawsuit… :P) And our house was built in the ’50s, so I’m pretty sure I live in a nest of asbestos right now. :D
In all honesty, I’m not too worried, but my employer is. Heh. It’s nice to get a morning off from work, but it is a little scary when you walk into a meeting where your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss is somberly addressing you, and the head of corporate HR is there, and the head of employee medical services, and you’re being assured you’ll get free chest x-rays. One can’t help but wonder in that situation if perhaps a little worry is in order. :P
I doubt that you had enough exposure to be an issue. Weren’t most of the elementary schools we grew up in riddled with the stuff?
Yeah, you’re probably fine. I think 25 years of handling the stuff is how you get The Cancer. But regardless, get up on that class action suit and get yourself paid, girl.
But regardless, get up on that class action suit and get yourself paid, girl.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Should I bring my shotgun with me?
Should I bring my shotgun with me?
Wait a sec. You were considering not bringing your shotgun? The hell?
You were considering not bringing your shotgun? The hell?
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I just wasn’t sure if you need one during a class-action lawsuit, but you’re right — it’s stupid not to bring it.
Weren’t most of the elementary schools we grew up in riddled with the stuff?
Between the asbestos and the lead based paint, I’m surprised we made it to adulthood.
Also, I can’t believe that New Jersey has a State Librarian.
Between the asbestos and the lead based paint, I’m surprised we made it to adulthood.
Seriously! The entire world is like one big death trap! I have to say, the best part about my asbestos-related downward spiral yesterday was that I got home and was all, “You know what? I deserve a cookie for dealing with this shit.” And I proceeded to eat about 75 spice cookies. Because I’d rather it be diabetes that gets me than asbestosis. :P
Also, I can’t believe that New Jersey has a State Librarian.
I actually suspect that most states have a State Librarian. I mean, don’t most states have State Libraries? Those libraries don’t run themselves!
So how is everyone else’s day going? How’d the snow end up in Buffalo? Is it a winter wonderland?
Is it a winter wonderland?
Whatever it is in Buffalo, it is a winter wonderland here! I sat in class feeling very smug, because I am a knitter and I wasn’t cold. Ha! Make fun of me now, coldies.
How’d the snow end up in Buffalo? Is it a winter wonderland?
Depends on where you are. My house in North Buffalo has no snow. I can see my grass. South Buffalo and areas south & east have over 2 feet and counting. There are people that have been stranded on the 90 for over 12 hours due to the snow causing accidents and backups. They’re now working on clearing out the people and the cars and sorting out that insanity.
Mags, I am so jealous! SO JEALOUS! (Although I’m not cold right now either, because I’m under a pile of quilts. Our various handcrafts may look dorky to the outside, but really it’s a defense mechanism against the elements! :P)
And Amy, I am NOT jealous of people stuck in the snow for 12 hours. Yeesh. That’s awful! And so bizarre that you can see your grass still.
So how is everyone else’s day going?
Boring! I’m almost at the end of the internet and it’s so early.
There are people that have been stranded on the 90 for over 12 hours due to the snow causing accidents and backups.
O dear. I hope everyone makes it out ok. There were accidents on the bridge into the city here, but I don’t think anyone was stuck for long.
I’m almost at the end of the internet and it’s so early.
I hate those days. I used to end up playing flash games when it got like that, but even shooting zombies in the head loses it’s charm after a while.
Boring! I’m almost at the end of the internet and it’s so early.
Oooh, that’s rough. You know what’s been a godsend for me lately on the slow days at work? The New York Times’ “Disunion” blog series. If you’re at all interested in the history of the Civil War, you should check it out (if you haven’t already).
I hate those days.
Me too. Although I’ve been keeping myself occupied over the past few days by simply trying to negotiate our new travel booking system.
I have to go to LA on Monday and I as far as I know I have a plane ticket, possibly a hotel room, and probably not (but maybe so) a rental car. But I don’t know for sure. It’s very entertaining.
I have to go to LA on Monday and I as far as I know I have a plane ticket, possibly a hotel room, and probably not (but maybe so) a rental car. But I don’t know for sure.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m sorry, it’s not funny. But it’s funny.
I decided that since I am she-of-the-elaborate-hairdos, I ought to have a headband instead of hats, because I don’t spend hours *cough*10minutes*cough* every morning putting braids in my hair to cover them up. So I’ve just spent a few hours searching for a suitable pattern. Now I’ve got it, and I’m facing the prospect of trying to unearth suitable yarn from my bag o’ scraps, it doesn’t seem so necessary anymore.
I have to go to LA on Monday and I as far as I know I have a plane ticket, possibly a hotel room, and probably not (but maybe so) a rental car. But I don’t know for sure. It’s very entertaining.
Nice! When we switched over to our new travel system, I got to send my bosses to India with no real confidence that I’d successfully gotten flights, hotels, and ground transportation. I just sat there at my asbestosy desk and said, “Have fun! Don’t call me if there are any problems, because the time difference is a bitch!” Heh.
I’m sorry, it’s not funny. But it’s funny.
It is a little funny. But apparently not to the girl who sits next to me. She’s travelling next week too and she is pissed about all this. Which actually makes it funnier.
I just sat there at my asbestosy desk and said, “Have fun! Don’t call me if there are any problems, because the time difference is a bitch!” Heh.
Ha! Sounds like good reasoning to me.
She’s travelling next week too and she is pissed about all this. Which actually makes it funnier.
I have to agree. That makes it wicked funny. Heh.
And you know what’s AWESOME? I just reported to my “state of the asbestos” meeting and came away with three important points:
1. They did thorough air and surface testing throughout the building last night.
2. The results are not all in yet for the entire building, but my wing came up completely clear.
3. They are not reopening the building until at least Monday.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! No asbestosis for me, AND I get a three-day weekend (or really a four-day weekend, considering I was only at work for one hour today).
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! No asbestosis for me, AND I get a three-day weekend (or really a four-day weekend, considering I was only at work for one hour today).
That’s pretty much the best news ever. Yay!
Yeah, I might not need your legal services for my lawsuit after all, Meg. Sorry.
Probably a good thing since I’m still a few years away from taking the bar. (Provided I manage to avoid failing out of law school.)
Hooray for days off!
They still haven’t closed the campus, despite the 6″ of snow that fell today. I was trudging through ankle deep snow already this morning, so I’m not sure what they’re thinking. Probably that the gov’t would really have their heads if they shut down for a day.
Hooray, rejoice, Dr. 0830class has emailed to let us off! And my least favourite housemate has declared she is going to leave next week to do volunteer work in Vietnam for 6 months. It’s like Christmas in December!
Awww, I wanted to do some trash-talking before the habs-devils game, but no one’s here. Booo. Whatever, I’ll trash talk all by myself: tonight the Habs will be to the Devils what Qatar was to the US today! Bahahahahaha!
Seriously, happy battle of the Giontas everyone!
Well that was quick.
Well shit. That didn’t take long.
…seriously?
Wow. Nice night Hedberg.
Grrreg, is this pretty just Montreal going nuts because Marty’s not there to show off for his dad?
Grrreg, is this pretty just Montreal going nuts because Marty’s not there to show off for his dad?
Yeah, not sure what’s going on. The habs must be confused because Marty’s not there. They’re NOT supposed to beat the devils. Ever.
Well that was a shitty PP.
It’s like Christmas in December!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It IS! I’m so happy for you!
And wait a minute — I literally just sat down (we went out for a very early dinner), and haven’t even had the tv on yet. Is it THAT bad so far?
Is it THAT bad so far?
Bad? Nooo, it’s a great game.
Bery bery bad.
Okay, yes, it IS that bad. Yeesh.
Am I the only one thinking Brian Gionta doesn’t look anything like his parents? They could just have filmed two random people in the stands it would be the same.
Mudderfudder.
Bad? Nooo, it’s a great game.
I don’t believe you, Grrrreg. :P
I think it’s very telling how much worse the Devils are now than when Brian Gionta played with us, because the broadcasts never talked in that much detail about the Gionta hardware store back then. It’s like they’re trying to distract us or something.
I don’t know, this is entertaining. Even Chico is laughing. :P
Brian kind of looks like his Mom.
I actually got to go to a couple of games last week at the Rock. One thing I noticed? Rolston runs out of gas after 20 seconds on the ice. Every time.
Chico would laugh at a funeral.
Brian kind of looks like his Mom.
I thought so, too.
Rolston runs out of gas after 20 seconds on the ice. Every time.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s the team’s problem! They’re not keeping their shifts IMPOSSIBLY short!
Chico would laugh at a funeral.
It’s true. He’d laugh at his own funeral.
This is the damnedest Devils season ever. The record. The injuries. The complete lack of defensive commitment. And The fans want to fire the coach more than Lou does.
And The fans want to fire the coach more than Lou does.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Honestly, I never thought I’d see the day.
(By the way, there is a new post up now.)
Alriiiight, I should already be sleeping. See you soon everyone, and may the older Gio prevail!
G’night, Grrrreg! Sweet dreams of the inevitable Habs win!
When Dano threatened us with “a very special guest”, I was momentarily concerned it was Stanta Claus. I’m not sure whether Jim Nantz is better or worse than that.