Devils/Wings Open Thread

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Devils/Wings Open Thread

January 26, 2011 by Schnookie

You guys, there is snow, sleet, and thunder and lightning pelting stately IPB Manor. It’s like the apocalypse, but wintry. Is this a sign that the Devils have completely given up on getting the first overall pick? Is it a sign that we should be happy about that? Or is it just coincidence? We have no idea.

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Posted in Open Thread | 214 Comments

214 Responses

on January 26, 2011 at 7:42 pm Schnookie

Ah, I see. The Devils left the thunder and lightning in NJ — that’s why we’re seeing it here.
on January 26, 2011 at 7:43 pm Mags

Popping into the new thread with my answer (since I still can’t sleep). I’m on my way to Zermatt.

To see McFlirty.

Mock as you wish.

I predict a blowout loss, just because I would like first pick hope again. And because I want to stop saying “WHA-AT?”
on January 26, 2011 at 7:49 pm Schnookie

I would never mock you for going to see McFlirty! I think that sounds like a very fun trip!! How long will you be staying?

And it seems that Rolston packed his thunder and lightning. WTF?
on January 26, 2011 at 7:50 pm SueNJ97

That was bizarre. You’d think they would have blown the whistle – just because it was the Devils trying to score…and WTF, Rolston scored again?
on January 26, 2011 at 7:51 pm Mags

Till next Wednesday. Not very long, but long enough.

Has someone been feeding Rollie his meds again? Is that why he’s playing like this?
on January 26, 2011 at 7:51 pm Patty (in Dallas)

If y’all could beat Detroit, I’d REEEEALLY appreciate it. I mean, like…REALLY.
on January 26, 2011 at 7:52 pm SueNJ97

I really don’t understand. Somehow, Rolston has been replaced by something with a pulse and possibly some guts.
on January 26, 2011 at 7:52 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Snow with lightning and thunder? That sounds like Texas.
on January 26, 2011 at 7:52 pm Mags

Somehow, Rolston has been replaced by something with a pulse and possibly some guts.

He stole Langer’s.
on January 26, 2011 at 7:54 pm SueNJ97

He stole Langer’s.

Well, it wasn’t like Jaime was using them. They were just sitting there.
on January 26, 2011 at 7:55 pm Mags

Well, it wasn’t like Jaime was using them. They were just sitting there.

Which is why I don’t begrudge Rollie the theft.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:00 pm Schnookie

You’d think they would have blown the whistle – just because it was the Devils trying to score…

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, I think that’s why everyone on the ice was so confused too.

He stole Langer’s.

Well, it wasn’t like Jaime was using them. They were just sitting there.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Winky’s like, “Does it even count as theft if I just stumble across them when no one’s using them??”

Mags, a week with McFlirty sounds delightful!! (As does just a week of vacation in general, but vacation + McFlirty’s even better.)
on January 26, 2011 at 8:02 pm mcguffers

Random thought for the night: I always thought it was cool when the Newmarket Saints played the Utica Devils (Saints vs. Devils, heh.) and now I think it would be brilliant for someone to buy a team and name them the Thunder so they could play the Lightning. Heh. Hamilton Thunder.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm SueNJ97

Doc: Devils playing better than Detroit right now”

Me: “Yeah, well that won’t last”
on January 26, 2011 at 8:04 pm SueNJ97

Did I just hear Doc say Ruslan one horse open Salei?
on January 26, 2011 at 8:05 pm Schnookie

Me: “Yeah, well that won’t last”

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Optimism is the hallmark of Devils fans. Wait, what’s the opposite of that?
on January 26, 2011 at 8:08 pm Pookie

McGuffers, that’s a great idea! Thunder vs. Lightning, nice! Years and years and years ago Schnookie cracked me up by saying the NBA should name an expansion team “The Moths” so when they got possession, the announcers could say, “Moth ball”. And by “Schnookie cracked me up” I mean, “I think of that shockingly often and crack up every time”. Even 17 years later. I have a very sophisticated sense of humor. Moth ball. Get it? Get it? ::loud, obnoxious laugh::

Mags, have a great, flirty vacation!
on January 26, 2011 at 8:09 pm Schnookie

“I think of that shockingly often and crack up every time”. Even 17 years later. I have a very sophisticated sense of humor. Moth ball. Get it? Get it? ::loud, obnoxious laugh::

Heh heh. I think of that often, too. We’d even designed a great uniform for that team. I don’t understand why David Stern hasn’t contacted me about that yet.

And hey, you know what I don’t care about? Wayne Gretzky turning 50.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:09 pm Mags

a week with McFlirty sounds delightful!!

It’ll be fun. Provided he doesn’t try to get me to do crazy snowboarding jumps again, I’ll be fine.

And he’s single again. I’ve been told I should worry about that, given how our acquaintance began. But I don’t.

I think it would be brilliant for someone to buy a team and name them the Thunder so they could play the Lightning. Heh. Hamilton Thunder.

Teeeheehee :D Thunder! Lightning! And very, very frightening!
on January 26, 2011 at 8:09 pm Tim

Did I just hear Doc say Ruslan one horse open Salei?

Heck yes you did. Why? Because of America.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:11 pm Mags

Ruslan one horse open Salei

Heck yes. His timing is a bit off, but I approve.

Moth ball. Get it? Get it? ::loud, obnoxious laugh::

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:14 pm Schnookie

A single McFlirty is definitely better than an unavailable McFlirty! Good luck to you!! :D

Did I just hear Doc say Ruslan one horse open Salei?

Heck yes you did. Why? Because of America.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And I wish Doc hadn’t bothered with the Salei crack. I like to think he’s better than that, but it’s not the first time I’ve heard him say it, so I’m not sure why I think he has higher standards than that. Heh.

Hey Tim! Long time no see! How’s it going?
on January 26, 2011 at 8:14 pm SueNJ97

Rafalski has less hair. Otherwise he looks the same.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:15 pm Pookie

so I’m not sure why I think he has higher standards than that

He probably doesn’t think “Moth ball” is funny, either.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:16 pm Tim

It’s going good! I lost my job and now I have two, and Cablevision just called me with a job offer as well.

Sorry I disappeared, I was busy and the hockey sucked.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:16 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Teeeheehee :D Thunder! Lightning! And very, very frightening!

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Moth ball! I get it!

We’d even designed a great uniform for that team.

I bet they’d smell funny! Har!
on January 26, 2011 at 8:17 pm Tim

Rafalski has less hair. Otherwise he looks the same.

I want to rub his head. It looks like a malformed peach.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:17 pm Schnookie

I’m sorry about losing the job, Tim, but congrats on all the others! You’re a superstar!!

Sorry I disappeared, I was busy and the hockey sucked.

Heh. Don’t apologize — I completely understand on both counts. :D
on January 26, 2011 at 8:17 pm Pookie

I bet they’d smell funny! Har!

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;

Congratulations, Tim, on racking up the job offers!
on January 26, 2011 at 8:18 pm Mags

And I wish Doc hadn’t bothered with the Salei crack.

I dunno, I thought it was funny. But like I said, a bit out of season.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:18 pm Schnookie

I bet they’d smell funny! Har!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They would! ::happy sigh:: I love jokes that never lose their piquant funniness.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:20 pm Schnookie

I dunno, I thought it was funny. But like I said, a bit out of season.

You’re WRONG! Moth ball! MOTH BALL! That’s what’s funny! Not name jokes! (Yeah, I’m totally in a position to criticize someone else’s jokes… :P)
on January 26, 2011 at 8:22 pm Tim

Oh man, Parise did say his rehab is slow and tedious! That’s amazing.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:22 pm Mags

You’re WRONG!

Uhhuh, yeah sure ;)
on January 26, 2011 at 8:26 pm SueNJ97

I wonder why Zach put the uniform sweater on instead of just wearing street clothes. Anyone who knows who he is knows he’s a Devil and anyone who doesn’t isn’t going to get anything out of seeing the sweater. Odd.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm Tim

I wonder why Zach put the uniform sweater on instead of just wearing street clothes. Anyone who knows who he is knows he’s a Devil and anyone who doesn’t isn’t going to get anything out of seeing the sweater. Odd.

I think he’s deeply uncomfortable in anything but his uniform. I’d bet you dollars to doughnuts he was wearing his skates as well. He only wears a suit when he’s injured in the crowd because Lou has certain…indelicate pictures of Parise.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:29 pm Schnookie

I’d bet you dollars to doughnuts he was wearing his skates as well.

No bet! There’s NO WAY he wasn’t wearing skates!
on January 26, 2011 at 8:29 pm mcguffers

Moth ball! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Maybe Wisconsin could get a team and call them the Cheese. Cause “Cheese ball” would make me giggle. (It actually just did when I typed it)

Teeeheehee :D Thunder! Lightning! And very, very frightening!

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Galileo!!

I have to admit, every time I read “McFlirty” it makes me “Aroooo?” for a second.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm Mags

Lou has certain…indelicate pictures of Parise.

Someone should tell Zach everyone already knows about Boxworthy.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:32 pm Schnookie

Lou has certain…indelicate pictures of Parise.

Someone should tell Zach everyone already knows about Boxworthy.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Mcguggs, Cheese ball! I love it! You’re a comic genius!!
on January 26, 2011 at 8:33 pm Tim

Lou has certain…indelicate pictures of Parise.

Someone should tell Zach everyone already knows about Boxworthy.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:35 pm Pookie

No, not cheese balls! Moth balls! ::death glare::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:37 pm Mags

No, not cheese balls! Moth balls! ::death glare::

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I’m going to try sleeping. I’d ask someone to poke me if something exciting happens, but I don’t know if technology has got quite THAT far yet.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:38 pm Patty (in Dallas)

On the contrary, I think Doc would LOVE the Moth ball joke. And maybe the Cheese ball one even more! :P
on January 26, 2011 at 8:39 pm Meg

It took me an embarrassingly long time to get the name joke. I’m pathetic. The only jokes I understand these days are ones with Latin in them.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:39 pm Patty (in Dallas)

No, not cheese balls! Moth balls! ::death glare::

Oh, woops. I meant he would love Moth ball and hate Cheese ball. Is what I meant.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:39 pm Amy

You guys are getting thundersnow? Once you get over the total apocalypse feel, it really is kind of cool.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:41 pm Meg

Jersey is getting all the cool weather. We’re just getting regular old non-thundersnow in New York.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:41 pm Pookie

The only jokes I understand these days are ones with Latin in them.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Those moth balls are out of order! ::gavel, gavel::

I meant he would love Moth ball and hate Cheese ball. Is what I meant.

Too late, Patty. Too. Late. ::deathier glare::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:43 pm Schnookie

Oh, woops. I meant he would love Moth ball and hate Cheese ball.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Thank you for understanding, Patty. :P

The only jokes I understand these days are ones with Latin in them.

Meg, you’re finding out why there is such a thing as too much erudition! Heh.

Amy, I think I’ve been around thundersnow before, but dude, I’ve never been around lightningsnow. That was freaky.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:43 pm Schnookie

Jersey is getting all the cool weather. We’re just getting regular old non-thundersnow in New York.

Maybe it’s headed your way as we speak!

Those moth balls are out of order! ::gavel, gavel::

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:44 pm mcguffers

*throws cheese balls at Pookie*
on January 26, 2011 at 8:46 pm Meg

Maybe it’s headed your way as we speak!

Ooh, let’s hope so! We are supposed to keep getting snow straight through Saturday (the people who live more than a 3-minute walk from school are probably less happy about this than I am–it’s a good thing I’m selfish).
on January 26, 2011 at 8:46 pm SueNJ97

Uh-oh. Tedenby’s back in the doghouse?
on January 26, 2011 at 8:47 pm Amy

Wait, I thought we saved the food fights for when the Ookies weren’t here?
on January 26, 2011 at 8:47 pm Schnookie

the people who live more than a 3-minute walk from school are probably less happy about this than I am–it’s a good thing I’m selfish

Heh heh heh. That’s the spirit! We have a plow guy who does our driveway, so I don’t have to shovel. Consequently, I’m like, “Bring more snow!” (I’m also kind of stunned at this prediction that we’re getting a brief respite and then snow, snow, snow through the weekend. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many days of snow in a row.)
on January 26, 2011 at 8:48 pm Kathleen

Lou has certain…indelicate pictures of Parise.

Someone should tell Zach everyone already knows about Boxworthy.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:48 pm Schnookie

Wait, I thought we saved the food fights for when the Ookies weren’t here?

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: This might only count as half a food fight, since mcguggs is getting pelted with moth balls.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm Pookie

::throws regulation NBA basketballs at mcguggs::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm mcguffers

And it’s not fair that Pookie put the moth balls in the freezer first!
on January 26, 2011 at 8:51 pm mcguffers

::throws regulation NBA basketball players at Pookie::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:51 pm Tim

I’ve never seen thundersnow :(

It took me an embarrassingly long time to get the name joke. I’m pathetic. The only jokes I understand these days are ones with Latin in them.

“so that late at night you just feel like translating Latin for a bit, upstairs, smoking in the coats’ room. I don’t know what I’m talking about now. No, I did, I did Latin, I learnt “Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant!,” and it comes in handy. Yes! Sometimes you’re queuing at a petrol station at 3:00A.M. in the morning, and there’s a line of murderers behind you, and you turn around and go, “Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant!” and they go, “Fuck! He knows Latin! (mimes running away) He knows a dead language! Run! Head for the hills! Head for Azerbaijan! Run down the forecourt””
on January 26, 2011 at 8:52 pm Pookie

::throws frozen regulation NBA basketball players at mcguffers::
on January 26, 2011 at 8:55 pm mcguffers

::throws frozen regulation NBA basketball players at mcguffers::

Lucic: “HEY!!!! Quit throwing my lunch!!”
on January 26, 2011 at 8:56 pm Schnookie

Lucic: “HEY!!!! Quit throwing my lunch!!”

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Looch is just that much man.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:58 pm Mags

He knows a dead language! Run! Head for the hills! Head for Azerbaijan! Run down the forecourt

Pugnato sum… et kumquat and romanes avec gallum et… pugnato fish…..?
on January 26, 2011 at 8:58 pm Schnookie

We had the TV muted coming out of commercial here when MSG put the superhero Devil character illustration (or whatever it is) up, and Boomer, without being able to hear the explanation, said, “Is that our Devil guy? With a hernia?” Then we unmuted in time to hear Doc ask, “Are those acrylic fingernails?” Yeah, I don’t think that’s what they meant to accomplish with this project.
on January 26, 2011 at 8:58 pm SueNJ97

Lucic: “HEY!!!! Quit throwing my lunch!!”

So that’s where those Celtics’ players went…
on January 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm Pookie

Looch is trying to eat lighter and healthier this season.

Yeah, I don’t think that’s what they meant to accomplish with this project.

I suspect we’re not their audience. Just going out on a limb there. If the superhero was a turtle in a tuxedo, then I’d think we might be their exact audience.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm Schnookie

If the superhero was a turtle in a tuxedo, then I’d think we might be their exact audience.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Especially if his superpower was wearing a monocle.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:01 pm SueNJ97

Looch is trying to eat lighter and healthier this season.

Soccer players? Marathoners?
on January 26, 2011 at 9:02 pm Pookie

Yup, marathoners. With afternoon snacks of gymnasts.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:03 pm mcguffers

If the superhero was a turtle in a tuxedo, then I’d think we might be their exact audience.

I think that actually is the one used for Edmonton.

From what I gather by reading Twitter and various blogs, the Guardian Project isn’t really capturing ANY audience.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:04 pm Mags

If the superhero was a turtle in a tuxedo, then I’d think we might be their exact audience.

I’m going to sew Boxworthy a cape as soon as I get home.

Yup, marathoners. With afternoon snacks of gymnasts.

Thank goodness he’s not starving himself with ballerinas.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:05 pm Tim

Yeah, I don’t think that’s what they meant to accomplish with this project.

What are you talking about? This is going to be the greatest comic series ever. It’s going to put Spiderman out of print.
Have you seen the Shark superhero? It’s a man with a shark for a head that’s uncomfortably small! SO SMALL!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:09 pm Pookie

I think that actually is the one used for Edmonton.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It’s a man with a shark for a head that’s uncomfortably small! SO SMALL!

What?! I’m disgusted and I haven’t even seen it yet!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:11 pm mcguffers

Thank goodness he’s not starving himself with ballerinas.

Black Swan freaked him the fuck out, too.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:12 pm Schnookie

It’s a man with a shark for a head that’s uncomfortably small! SO SMALL!

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Okay, this I have to see.

::googles “guardian project sharks” and gets a picture of Greg Norman as the result::

Hm. That is an odd choice.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:12 pm mcguffers

Oh Avs announcers. Koci is either “hitting” or “beating on” that Coyote. He’s not “hitting on” him.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:13 pm Tim

They’re almost all on here http://www.guardianproject30.com/ and they’re almost all silly. The Bruins one isn’t silly, but that’s because bears are physically incapable of silliness when not hunting pic-a-nic baskets. I can’t wait for the duck to be introduced. Gonna be epically funny.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:14 pm mcguffers

::googles “guardian project sharks” and gets a picture of Greg Norman as the result::

Hm. That is an odd choice.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 9:14 pm Tim

Oh Avs announcers. Koci is either “hitting” or “beating on” that Coyote. He’s not “hitting on” him.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 9:14 pm Schnookie

Dude! I hadn’t even CONSIDERED the hilarious potential of the Guardian Duck!

He’s not “hitting on” him.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s what you WANT to think.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:18 pm SueNJ97

Dude! I hadn’t even CONSIDERED the hilarious potential of the Guardian Duck!

Will it be able to keep its shirt on?
on January 26, 2011 at 9:19 pm Kathleen

Oh Avs announcers. Koci is either “hitting” or “beating on” that Coyote. He’s not “hitting on” him.

Are we sure about this? The Coyotes are all very pretty.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:20 pm Pookie

Oh my gosh, the Shark is a pinhead! How disturbing!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:20 pm mcguffers

Dude! I hadn’t even CONSIDERED the hilarious potential of the Guardian Duck!

Super Chuck!!

That’s what you WANT to think.

Don’t ask, don’t tell.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:20 pm Schnookie

I can’t stop looking at this picture of the Shark. I love that he’s a superhero who waterskis!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:21 pm Tim

Dude! I hadn’t even CONSIDERED the hilarious potential of the Guardian Duck!

Considering the Canuck Guardian, the Duck can be nothing but the funniest superhero ever, and that’s including Elasticman when he turned himself into a toilet and flushed a bad guy.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:21 pm Schnookie

Will it be able to keep its shirt on?

Super Chuck!!

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to both of you!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:23 pm Tim

I can’t stop looking at this picture of the Shark. I love that he’s a superhero who waterskis!

The Red Wing wears big wheely shoes.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:24 pm Schnookie

My god! The Bruin is Looch, all the way down to his little descriptive blurb!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:24 pm Schnookie

Tim, I’d been completely ignoring this whole thing, but now you’ve got me looking all the little characters up. They’re hilarious! What a comic goldmine!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:26 pm Tim

Sadly the last issue will inevitably involve them all getting diagnosed with cancer http://nashvillenewspress.org/wp-content/plugins/RSSPoster_PRO/cache/c8d56_167485_175137749191165_156199747751632_354064_2403974_n_medium.jpg
on January 26, 2011 at 9:26 pm Kathleen

The Bruin is Looch, all the way down to his little descriptive blurb!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! But by “precognition” they mean “base animal instinct”, I assume?
on January 26, 2011 at 9:27 pm Kathleen

Seriously, where do they come up with this stuff?
on January 26, 2011 at 9:27 pm mcguffers

The Predator: “Has titanium claws that rip through steel and spits radioactive plasma.”

::looks at a sleeping Weber:: Just add emits noxious gas through anus and it’s about right.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:29 pm Pookie

But by “precognition” they mean “base animal instinct”, I assume?

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Wait, “spits radioactive plasma”?! Is this the world’s worst ad-libs or something?
on January 26, 2011 at 9:30 pm mcguffers

The Red Wing looks like a Transformer.

The Bruin is Looch, all the way down to his little descriptive blurb!

But by “precognition” they mean “base animal instinct”, I assume?

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
At least the Bruin wears underpants.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:31 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Oh my gosh. Those Guardians are the dumbest thing ever! Except the Star guy is kinda cool. *shifty eyes*
on January 26, 2011 at 9:33 pm Patty (in Dallas)

The Flame one looks like us trying to watch Pierre McGuire. What with the flaming eyeballs.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:33 pm Schnookie

::looks at a sleeping Weber:: Just add emits noxious gas through anus and it’s about right.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m sure that’s going to turn up somewhere in these.

The Capitals one looks like a junior college mascot. And the Red Wing! I love his rocketpack wings and then his, like, bi-unicycle wheelie footgear. What the hell? Wouldn’t built-in wheels make more sense if he insists on not flying with his wings and rocket engines?
on January 26, 2011 at 9:33 pm Pookie

At least the Bruin wears underpants.

It’s the only way you can tell him and Looch apart.

So far my favorite thing about the Guardians is that the Flyer superhero is famous for his “granite chin”. Just like Lindros! No, wait…
on January 26, 2011 at 9:35 pm mcguffers

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

This whole conversation is making it very difficult to eat my dessert, dammit!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:35 pm Schnookie

mcguggs, you didn’t add the best part about Weber — that he’s a “titanium music city super cat”. That’s what I’m going to call all of my cats from now on. They are itty-bitty skinny pretty cobra kitties no more!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:36 pm Tim

This is The Capital:
on January 26, 2011 at 9:38 pm mcguffers

My favorite part is you get to vote on the matchups. Is someone really sitting there going, “Hmmmm, I bet flaming eyeballs can set a infinitely growing maple tree on fire. Advantage Flames!”
on January 26, 2011 at 9:39 pm mcguffers

They are itty-bitty skinny pretty cobra kitties no more!

I think itty-bitty skinny pretty cobra kitties is the description for The Panther.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:41 pm Tim

bi-unicycle wheelie footgear.

I think he stole them off The Ranger’s motorcycle.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:44 pm Schnookie

“Hmmmm, I bet flaming eyeballs can set a infinitely growing maple tree on fire. Advantage Flames!”

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I think itty-bitty skinny pretty cobra kitties is the description for The Panther.

Dude! I’m voting for the itty-bitty skinny pretty cobra kitty to win the whole thing! He’ll defeat his opponent by refusing to get up out of his lap, no matter how badly his opponent has to pee. His description is also that he believes strongly in the power of a sofa’s stainguard.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:45 pm Schnookie

My god, Tim! That IS the Capital!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:46 pm Tim

Sorry, I meant to say “The Ranger’s Hover Horse.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:46 pm Patty (in Dallas)

He’ll defeat his opponent by refusing to get up out of his lap, no matter how badly his opponent has to pee. His description is also that he believes strongly in the power of a sofa’s stainguard.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

That DownGoesBrown guy was really cracking me up yesterday about their superhero being a tree.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:47 pm Myra

I’m still trying to figure out why the Stars guy has tenacles? None of them make any sense to me. Might as well be Latin.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:47 pm Patty (in Dallas)

The Devil seems a little horsey, too. :P
on January 26, 2011 at 9:47 pm Schnookie

I think he stole them off The Ranger’s motorcycle.

Dude! He did! The Ranger’s motorcycle is missing its wheels, and I only see one other guardian who’s using wheels, so it’s pretty obvious who the culprit is.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:48 pm Pookie

Might as well be Latin.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Don’t tell Meg! She’ll never stop laughing!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:48 pm SueNJ97

It’s comforting to see that NJ is trying to lose this one.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:50 pm Kathleen

The Leafs one is killing me. They’re just saying “The Leafs? Her? Yep, we got nothing.”
on January 26, 2011 at 9:51 pm Kathleen

Unless they’re saying “Yep, they just stand there get get more and more expensive every year and never ever do a damned thing.”
on January 26, 2011 at 9:53 pm Kathleen

Um wow, so the Oilers and Stars don’t like each other much?
on January 26, 2011 at 9:54 pm mcguffers

I can totally picture Stan Lee: “Alright. I got a Panther, a Shark, a Bear. I can work with these. A Senator and an Islander… okaaayyy. A Star and a Duck. Greaaaatt. Wait, seriously? A fucking Maple Leaf?? What the hell do I do with that?!”
on January 26, 2011 at 9:54 pm SueNJ97

Um wow, so the Oilers and Stars don’t like each other much?

There’s playoff history there.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:56 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I can totally picture Stan Lee: “Alright. I got a Panther, a Shark, a Bear. I can work with these. A Senator and an Islander… okaaayyy. A Star and a Duck. Greaaaatt. Wait, seriously? A fucking Maple Leaf?? What the hell do I do with that?!”

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Then he said, “Get off my lawn, ya whippersnappers!” Because he appears to be, like, an old guy. :D
on January 26, 2011 at 9:56 pm Schnookie

Okay, I just checked out the Star. Patty, I hate to have to tell you this, but he’s not cool. I mean:

“His confidence is so severe that it could almost be considered a superpower all by itself. When engaging his enemies, the Star lets them know who is boss immediately.”

HE’S A WINGS FAN!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:56 pm Myra

This is the third time the Stars have played the Oilers this month. I think they are tired of seeing each other and want to break up.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:57 pm Kathleen

For the record, the Panther does NOT look like a fun-loving dude. He looks like an evil Batman.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:57 pm Pookie

A fucking Maple Leaf?? What the hell do I do with that?!”

It’s a shame their guardian isn’t just a polar bear version of the Bruin. It would have the super-power of honesty.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:57 pm mcguffers

Then he said, “Get off my lawn, ya whippersnappers!” Because he appears to be, like, an old guy.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Which is also the catch phrase for The Red Wing.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:57 pm Kathleen

Christian Bale on the worst bender EVER, if you will.
on January 26, 2011 at 9:58 pm Tim

I can totally picture Stan Lee: “Alright. I got a Panther, a Shark, a Bear. I can work with these. A Senator and an Islander… okaaayyy. A Star and a Duck. Greaaaatt. Wait, seriously? A fucking Maple Leaf?? What the hell do I do with that?!”

“Canuck? Isn’t that a slur? The hell and I gonna do with a slur? Goddammitsomuch, Wild isn’t even a goddamn noun! Capital?!? You want me to personify ‘Capital’?!? I can have you all killed in your sleep, you know.”
on January 26, 2011 at 9:59 pm Kathleen

Then he said, “Get off my lawn, ya whippersnappers!” Because he appears to be, like, an old guy.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Which is also the catch phrase for The Red Wing.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 9:59 pm mcguffers

“His confidence is so severe that it could almost be considered a superpower all by itself. When engaging his enemies, the Star lets them know who is boss immediately.”

HE’S A WINGS FAN!

AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
on January 26, 2011 at 9:59 pm Kathleen

Oh my GOD, the Capital is totally eagleman!!!!!!!! (But he also reminds me a little of Mike Green.)
on January 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm Tim

*am I gonna do.

I no speel gud.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:01 pm Kathleen

“Controls power absorption and magnification”? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Also sounds like a paper towel commercial.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:01 pm Patty (in Dallas)

HE’S A WINGS FAN!

You take that back!!

(You don’t have to take back the part about how the Star isn’t cool.)
on January 26, 2011 at 10:02 pm Tim

Oh man, I love the picture of the Blackhawk, he looks like he accidentally fried the orphanage next to the villain’s base and is hoping no one notices.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs018.snc6/166796_173447222693551_156199747751632_344946_7263349_n.jpg
on January 26, 2011 at 10:02 pm Kathleen

“His confidence is so severe that it could almost be considered a superpower all by itself. When engaging his enemies, the Star lets them know who is boss immediately.”

HE’S A WINGS FAN!

AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on January 26, 2011 at 10:03 pm mcguffers

“Canuck? Isn’t that a slur? The hell and I gonna do with a slur? Goddammitsomuch, Wild isn’t even a goddamn noun! Capital?!? You want me to personify ‘Capital’?!? I can have you all killed in your sleep, you know.”

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It reads funnier with “The hell and I gonna do” because I think Stan Lee slurs his words and forgets helping verbs when he’s beligerant.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:03 pm Pookie

he looks like he accidentally fried the orphanage next to the villain’s base and is hoping no one notices.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 10:03 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Oh man, I love the picture of the Blackhawk, he looks like he accidentally fried the orphanage next to the villain’s base and is hoping no one notices.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He does! He’s the only one standing still, trying to look nonchalant.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm Kathleen

The Canuck also looks like Batman. Stan Lee is a total rip.

On the other hand, I can’t believe I was so down on this thing! This is so abysmally stupid it’s genius. Or if you ask Stan, genious.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm Schnookie

Oh man, I love the picture of the Blackhawk, he looks like he accidentally fried the orphanage next to the villain’s base and is hoping no one notices.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Honestly, I can’t believe I hadn’t been paying attention to this shit! We could have gotten SO MANY blog posts out of this!

I love that the Maple Leaf is the “funniest” of the Guardians. Like, funny how? Because I agree with that, depending on which kind of funny we’re talking about.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm Schnookie

Or if you ask Stan, genious.

I can’t tell you how long I stared at that, wondering if I was wrong thinking it wasn’t right. That Guardian clearly has the power of confusion. (“Magnification” also had me puzzled. I guess they call on the Canadien whenever they forgot their reading glasses and need help with a menu in a dimly-lit restaurant.)
on January 26, 2011 at 10:08 pm Kathleen

Oh my god! http://www.nhlsnipers.com/nhl-guardian-project-the-penguin/
on January 26, 2011 at 10:10 pm Kathleen

Hmmm. The Oiler sounds like he’s about to have a class-action lawsuit on his hands.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:10 pm Tim

I love that the Maple Leaf is the “funniest” of the Guardians. Like, funny how?

What’s not funny about an immobile yet sentient tree in a onesie?
on January 26, 2011 at 10:11 pm Schnookie

I like that the Penguin travels on a sheet of ice. Like, don’t they all? How is that special? Also, he looks like he’s sucking in his gut because his leotard and tights make him look fat.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:12 pm Schnookie

What’s not funny about an immobile yet sentient tree in a onesie?

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Especially when it turns out that the immobile yet sentient tree has Brian Burke for a brain!
on January 26, 2011 at 10:13 pm Pookie

I like that the Penguin travels on a sheet of ice. Like, don’t they all?

Yeah, but it’s kinda like how all NHLers know how to skate, but only Sid manages to make it look like he doesn’t really know how to walk on dry land.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:13 pm Kathleen

Heh. I meant to say “The Penguin is Sid!” Tags are hard.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:19 pm Patty (in Dallas)

The Penguin has some seriously wonky limbs.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:21 pm mcguffers

The Devil is a “Master Matter Manipulator”. Is that nerd-speak for “good puck handler”?
on January 26, 2011 at 10:23 pm Tim

I think it means he can break stuff. Like Eric Lindros’ brain.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:24 pm Schnookie

Is that nerd-speak for “good puck handler”?

I hope not, because I’d like to think the Devil was at least a little bit based on the team.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:24 pm Schnookie

I think it means he can break stuff. Like Eric Lindros’ brain.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 10:28 pm Pookie

I hope not, because I’d like to think the Devil was at least a little bit based on the team.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: The Devil uses the element of winking to destroy enemies. Or annoy them, at any rate. OK, just sorta give them the willies.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:29 pm mcguffers

Well The Sabre is “A Human Hydroelectric Plant. Manipulates water in all its forms from liquid, solid, and gaseous.” So basically our guardian is a Zamboni. That looks like a rip off of Mr. Freeze. (Kathleen is right about the Batman theft.)
on January 26, 2011 at 10:31 pm Schnookie

So basically our guardian is a Zamboni.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Hey! He’s got a sword made out of water. Have you ever seen a Zamboni with a water sword?
on January 26, 2011 at 10:32 pm Tim

That looks like a rip off of Mr. Freeze.

Not as much as The Avalanche, he’s even got the head casing.

I think he just ripped off all the superheroes. The Penguin is the Ice Man from X-Men, the Red Wing is a Transformer, The Canadien is Iron Man, etc.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:33 pm Schnookie

Pookie suggested that the Avalanche looks like Ted Williams.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:34 pm mcguffers

He’s got a sword made out of water. Have you ever seen a Zamboni with a water sword?

The Senators have an ice crew that comes out dressed as Centurions and instead of using shovels, they clear off the ice with their shields and swords. Close enough right?
on January 26, 2011 at 10:35 pm Tim

Pookie suggested that the Avalanche looks like Ted Williams.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 26, 2011 at 10:35 pm Schnookie

Wait, is that for real about the Sens ice crew mcguggs? That’s hilarious!!! I hope they’re as lame as that Centurion they had for the playoffs that time.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:42 pm mcguffers

Wait, is that for real about the Sens ice crew mcguggs?

I wish! No, that;s just me being an ass. I blame The Predator on my lap who won’t let me move my leg. He’s related to your cats apparently.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:43 pm Kathleen

This has got to be the laziest thing Stan Lee has ever done. I think he hired eight year old boys to write all the blurbs.
on January 26, 2011 at 10:46 pm Tim

laziest

You misspelled “awesomest” there.
on January 27, 2011 at 12:32 pm Pookie

You misspelled “awesomest” there.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 28, 2011 at 1:16 pm Mags

I’ve only been online for an hour, but I’ve already reached the end of the internet. The All-Star game has significantly cut down on interesting hockey talk.
on January 28, 2011 at 6:55 pm carolbrowne

Pookie suggested that the Avalanche looks like Ted Williams.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Teehee. Poor Ted Williams! Heh.
on January 28, 2011 at 7:02 pm carolbrowne

OH BOO! All Star weekend? Already. BLAH. :-( Well, I guess it will be a Sedin weekend in these parts. And Kesler!

Let’s get it on!!!
on January 28, 2011 at 7:25 pm Schnookie

The All-Star game has significantly cut down on interesting hockey talk.

And how! Dude, the All-Star break is BRUTAL. Why can’t they make the non-All-Stars carry on as if everything is normal, so we have something else to watch if we’re not interested in the ASG? :D
on January 28, 2011 at 7:47 pm Patty (in Dallas)

We could talk about how loathesome and LAME Jeremy Roenick is. I’ve never seen anybody try so hard whenever he’s behind a microphone and still miss the mark so violently! (I’ve changed to the electric ab belt commercial until he goes away.)
on January 28, 2011 at 7:54 pm Amy

Why can’t they make the non-All-Stars carry on as if everything is normal, so we have something else to watch if we’re not interested in the ASG?

You’re asking for more Devils hockey? Whoa.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:04 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I know it’s silly, but I think the draft is kind of fun. Eric Staal looks adorable. I’m waiting to see how they’re all dressed. And now that Roenick is gone, I’m happy.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:08 pm Pookie

Do tell, Patty! We’re not watching so be sure to report on anything awesome. And I mean real awesome, not Guardian awesome.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:17 pm Myra

Hockey players in suits. How can you not want to watch.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:17 pm Amy

Ovie looks like he got a shave, a haircut and a new suit for the occasion.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:18 pm Myra

He does look unusually tiddy tonight.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:18 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Ovie looks like he got a shave, a haircut and a new suit for the occasion.

And he went THIRD! So that’s good. :D

And Rick Nash looks adorable. But that’s kind of a given.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:19 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I was wondering who I wanted to go last, and then just now I saw Corey Perry in the audience. I hope he goes last.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:20 pm Myra

You know Team Staal had to have help with their picks. They are pretty but I’m thinking brains may not be their strong suit.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:20 pm kristin

Oh Corey Perry is definitely going last.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:22 pm kristin

Do we really need this draft “analysis”?
on January 28, 2011 at 8:24 pm Patty (in Dallas)

The “analysis” seemed totally scripted. Of course, when Pierre tries to be funny it always sounds like that.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:26 pm Amy

Oh Corey Perry is definitely going last.

I’d think Kessel will got last. His watching his sourpuss get more sour as the night goes on will be great.

You know Team Staal had to have help with their picks.

I’m thinking Team Lidstrom is making sure that Assistant Captain Kane isn’t around any bars or cab drivers.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:27 pm Myra

Matt Duchene. Very pretty.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:28 pm Myra

King Henrik, just makes me miss his better looking twin.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:29 pm Amy

And who is responsible for making sure all these suitcoats get back to their proper owners? This has chaos written all over it.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:30 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Okay. that was funny. Duthie interviewed Marc Staal, lots of banter about how he’s crushed he hasn’t been picked and the whole family will be mad. Then they go to Eric and he says, “Team Staal, for their next pick… from the New York Rangers…Henrik Lundquist.”
on January 28, 2011 at 8:33 pm Myra

Toews is looking nervous.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:33 pm Myra

Thank goodness, I was worried about him.

Obviously.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:42 pm Myra

Just saw “Someone pick Perry” on Twitter and thought he the heck do I follow that would tweet that.

Heh. It was Bobby Ryan.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:43 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Heh. It was Bobby Ryan.

HAHAHAHAHA! Scared you there for a minute, eh? :D
on January 28, 2011 at 8:50 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Brad looks good. Obvy.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:54 pm Schnookie

Heh. It was Bobby Ryan.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s too funny.

And you guys, I’d forgotten about the draft! I’ve been busy in the kitchen, and I have to thank you for the updates here! Mmmm… players in suits.
on January 28, 2011 at 8:54 pm Pookie

Oh, I forgot Rick Nash would be there in a suit!
on January 28, 2011 at 9:02 pm Myra

HAHAHAHAHA! Scared you there for a minute, eh? :D

I thought someone had lost their mind!
on January 28, 2011 at 9:07 pm Myra

Loui gets so nervous, I bet he is dying right now.
on January 28, 2011 at 9:09 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Poor Loui! I hope he goes to the blue team. They seem less gross. What with not having Ovie or Mike Green or CoreyPerry on it.
on January 28, 2011 at 9:12 pm Schnookie

They seem less gross. What with not having Ovie or Mike Green or CoreyPerry on it.

WTF? They are CLEARLY stacking the deck against the red team. That is VILE.
on January 28, 2011 at 9:15 pm Amy

I called it! Kessel is Mr. Irrelevant!

Tyler Ennis is on the rookie portion of Team Staal. I hope the team douchiness doesn’t rub off on our innocent little Tyler.
on January 28, 2011 at 9:19 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I hope so, too, Amy! It might be pretty strong.

I’m so relieved Loui got on the non-douchey team! Since Kessel got a car, getting picked second-to-last is really the worst way to go. :P
on January 28, 2011 at 9:30 pm carolbrowne

Since Kessel got a car, getting picked second-to-last is really the worst way to go. :P

Exactly! I would have loved to see one of the jacket girls walk away in disgust just as he passed her his coat. Heh.
on January 28, 2011 at 9:44 pm Schnookie

I called it! Kessel is Mr. Irrelevant!

WOO HOO! You’re a genius, Amy!
on January 29, 2011 at 10:37 am SueNJ97

You know Team Staal had to have help with their picks. They are pretty but I’m thinking brains may not be their strong suit.

So, they’re more talented versions of David Clarkson?

I was glad that Elias wasn’t picked last, but I wanted him to be on Team Lidstrom. Now, he’s on a team with mostly Hurricanes and Rangers. I may have to root against Patty. BTW, they showed him when Kessel won the car for being Mr. Irrelevant (I think Patty was the consensus pick) and he looked just as happy that he didn’t win it.
on January 29, 2011 at 4:18 pm Schnookie

BTW, they showed him when Kessel won the car for being Mr. Irrelevant (I think Patty was the consensus pick) and he looked just as happy that he didn’t win it.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I love that our very own Patrik Elias was the odds-on favorite for being “least popular guy at the All Star Game”. That is the mark of a True Devil. :D
on January 29, 2011 at 7:25 pm Amy

So according to the powers in charge of the Skills competition introductions, Patrick Sharp plays for the Blue Jackets and Tyler Ennis for the Panthers.
on January 29, 2011 at 7:30 pm SueNJ97

So according to the powers in charge of the Skills competition introductions, Patrick Sharp plays for the Blue Jackets and Tyler Ennis for the Panthers.

Well, is there a trade moritorium during the AS break? :)
on January 29, 2011 at 7:33 pm SueNJ97

I’d actually like to see the fastest skater (backwards) done by goalies on full goalie gear.
on January 29, 2011 at 7:37 pm Pookie

We didn’t see anyone here — we’ll put a new post in just a quick sec!
on January 29, 2011 at 7:39 pm Schnookie

Holy shit, you guys, I didn’t think I’d see anything worth remarking on — or even cracking a smile at — during this AS break (just because that’s the kind of season I’m having), but dude, that goalie skating? SWOON!
on November 12, 2011 at 7:33 pm Cobra Kitty | That Was Random .com - Sharing Random Videos, Images and More. Sharing Random Stuff from Present to Nostalgic

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