OK, OK, are you sitting down? How’s this — imagine you’re watching a game that’s gone to a shootout. The shootout is tied after three attempts. Do you want to see a fourth lame attempt at yet another forward shooting at the goalie? Or do you want to see… wait for it… a goalie race?! WE KNOW! Brendan Shanahan, ball’s in your court.
Advertisement
You know what’s NOT a great idea? This trick-shot shit in the Superskills.
I dunno – it’s pretty funny watching them all fail repeatedly.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Okay, Iain, I’ll give you that it’s fun to laugh at the failure. I should look on the bright side, instead of squirming at the horribleness of it all. Heh. (I love it as a marketing hook — “Hey, non-hockey sports fans! Tune in to watch the best players in the game noodle around sort of aimlessly and then not score!”)
“Hey, non-hockey sports fans! Tune in to watch the best players in the game noodle around sort of aimlessly and then not score!”
“Hey, Devils fans! Tune in to watch players noodle around aimlessly instead of just standing around aimlessly!”
The Louie Erickson goal was kind of funny because it looked like Price got tired of going back and forth (and maybe dizzy from watching Louie circle), just said “fuck it” and let him score.
“Hey, Devils fans! Tune in to watch players noodle around aimlessly instead of just standing around aimlessly!”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Hm. When you put it that way, it definitely does sound better than regular hockey…
I love the idea of goalie races! But if the goalie race doesn’t go over with Shanny, how about goalies in the shootout? They all think they can puck handle, let them prove it in the clutch.
And I thought Ericsson’s duck duck, score was much better than Ovechkin’s scoring on a prone Fleury.
Oh, and in response to your question, they ought to just replace the shootout with a goalie race. That would be interesting – how many goalies would just start surrendering goals in OT to avoid it?
I found the difference between Fleury hamming it up and Price looking like he’d rather die than be there sort of fascinating.
Of course, no matter how stupid any of this looks to a non-hockey fan, just wait until they get a load of the Guardian Project tomorrow.
I found the difference between Fleury hamming it up and Price looking like he’d rather die than be there sort of fascinating.
Yep. I actually appreciated Fleury. I wonder if some of it’s the difference between playing in a relatively small market and playing under the pressure in Montreal (you don’t say or do anything interesting because they jomp on you).
Louie was robbed.
That would be interesting – how many goalies would just start surrendering goals in OT to avoid it?
Dude! That’s a really good point! There would NEVER be a superskill competition to decide standings points again!
Of course, no matter how stupid any of this looks to a non-hockey fan, just wait until they get a load of the Guardian Project tomorrow.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Okay, there is ONE event in the superskills that’s perfect the way it is — the accuracy shooting. So now they’ve gone and fucked it up? Why is this a race? Why is the NHL so stupid???
Of course, no matter how stupid any of this looks to a non-hockey fan, just wait until they get a load of the Guardian Project tomorrow.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: You make a very good point.
They could just replace the shootout with Sharpe standing at center ice looking pretty…
I wonder if the deal for not picking Patty last was that he doesn’t appear in the skills competition and that he barely plays tomorrow.
Sue, that’s got to be it!
They could just replace the shootout with Sharpe standing at center ice looking pretty…
It would have to be the best looking player on each team at center ice, with America (or Canada, or both) voting to see who wins based on hotness. It’s as fair as what goes on now.
Thinking about it, it would force GMs to sign at least one player purely for hotness value.
They could just replace the shootout with Sharpe standing at center ice looking pretty…
Or make like old-school Project Runway and have a motherbleeping walkoff.
It would have to be the best looking player on each team at center ice, with America (or Canada, or both) voting to see who wins based on hotness.
That would be destination television for me! I might even figure out how to text from my phone so I could vote.
Thinking about it, it would force GMs to sign at least one player purely for hotness value.
This is BRILLIANT! The Devils would totally need to hire us as free-agent consultants so they could be sure to be picking up the hottest of the hotties for the playoff push.
Or make like old-school Project Runway and have a motherbleeping walkoff.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Or make like old-school Project Runway and have a motherbleeping walkoff.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Well played, Amy! Finger to the nose for you!
Thinking about it, it would force GMs to sign at least one player purely for hotness value.
FOR REALS! That should be in the new CBA. No fan should have to suffer through having no hotties on their team.
Thinking about it, it would force GMs to sign at least one player purely for hotness value.
Finally, a way for me to break into the NHL.
Schnookie: Oh, has Shanny stopped dying his hair?
Boomer: Or started.
Heh.
I can just see it now…
“Well, he’s a lousy skater, he can’t score and he doesn’t understand the word ‘backcheck’.”
“Yes, but he looks hot standing at center ice.”
“Sign him up!”
Finally, a way for me to break into the NHL.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Finally, a way for me to break into the NHL.
Absolutely, Iain!
Man, Skinner looks like he’s about 12. WTF.
oh my god, Skinner looks like a baby!!!
Skinner’s adorable. I bet Cam Ward made the Canes draft him so that there’d be a guy on the team who makes Wardo look more distinguished.
Jeff Skinner is the most adorable little thing! Look at him! I just want to pinch his cheeks!
I love the little tiny nets! They’re like the Skinner of nets!
Skinner is just precious. Poor dear just looks overwhelmed, but like he’s having fun with it.
Ennis’s precision skating was hot.
The precision skating was pretty cool. I find the one-timer portion of this event a little odd, but all in all, I’ll give them credit — this obstacle course/relay thingamabob is kinda cute.
That precision skating was dizzying and awesome! I am surprisingly impressed by this relay event. Normally I don’t approve of newfangled superskill events, but this one’s kinda interesting. Which means that everyone else probably hates it and will blame it for the lameness of the Superskills as a televised event. :P
I like the obstacle course and the elevated passing with the little nets is good too.
What…they are letting Patty do something besides breathe the air?
Thanks for the close-up of the tiny net, Versus! That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen (today)!
What…they are letting Patty do something besides breathe the air?
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, when the one-timers weren’t going in the net, we immediately blamed the passing.
Look, Rick Nash shot the puck so hard, it uncalibrated the speed gun! (I can only assume that’s what’s happened here.)
Poor, poor Rick Nash. He deserved so much better.
Look at how adorable Chara is! He’s like the Jeff Skinner of giants.
Look at how adorable Chara is! He’s like the Jeff Skinner of giants.
Chara does two things memorably (he probably does other things well). He wins the hardest shot contest and he gets into slap fights with Gionta.
He wins the hardest shot contest and he gets into slap fights with Gionta.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: At the time, I used to be like “That jerk! Quit slapping our little Gio!” Now I’m like, “You know, Chara was really on to something.”
Now I’m like, “You know, Chara was really on to something.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Now I’m like, “You know, Chara was really on to something.”
It still would have been more fun if he had been slapping Gomez around. Then and now.
So true, Sue, so true.
Mmmm…goalie race!!! It’s the best. WHOMP! Oh no! We’ve got another goalie down! A goalie down!
Please, make it happen for us!!!
I had to watch the Superskills on Tivo delay last night. I thought it was fun!
Whoa. Timeout. Ron Francis looks good.
Anyway, my favorite part was the cool fog curtain with their name on it that all the players skated through in introductions.
And I could not BELIEVE how adorable a little squirt Jeff Skinner is. :P
And I had no idea Claude Giroux was such a cutie. He has the haircut of a 5-year-old and I love it.
Wow. These guys look as excited to be there as I feel about watching it. Thanks for at least smiling Toews.
I love the idea of the goalie race! And the looks-off/walk-off is maybe even better.
The ASG always shows me me new hotties that I never knew existed, so I feel like it pays for itself. David Backes is even pretty cute.
Duncan Keith is pretty adorable. And Byfuglien looks bemused all the time, I kind of enjoy that.
how about goalies in the shootout? They all think they can puck handle, let them prove it in the clutch.
In full pads, please and thank you.
That all-star weekend was awesome. I didn’t think the introduction for the Guardian Project could live up to how stupid it seemed on the little intro cards, but they knocked it out of the park.
http://guardianproject30.com/battles.php They put out little mini-comics for you to rip to pieces, Ookies!
I’m just sad Chara didn’t let one of those 106 mph slap shots go against Thomas.
Oh my god, Tim, that link… it just… SWOON! Man, we might never be without blog ideas again! (Now we just need time to write…)
As for the Guardian intro, it happened to come on while Pookie and I were both busy with chores in other rooms. So we told Boomer she had to pay close attention and give us all the details when we got back. So, work done, we settle back down in front of the tv and ask Boomer what she thought, and she says, “I know less about the Guardian Project now than I did before I saw the introduction.”
It was seriously the most confusing, yet simple thing ever. I have no idea what happened except whomever their baddie is (Deven Dark? Really?) gives up super easy.
Here it is if you want to make your brain hurt: