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Archive for April, 2011

Everybody, it’s playoff time again, which means two things:

1. Devils fans are looking back at their October optimism and wondering where things went so horribly awry, and

2. It’s time for FRISBY BOWL!

There’s nothing to be done about the Devils, but you don’t want to miss any of the fun or the chance at the monumental bragging rights that will go with being able to display the Frisby Bowl IV trophy in a trophy case in your front office, so follow this link to sign up today. Hurry! You only have until 7:15 pm EDT on Wednesday to participate!

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It’s been quite a season for the Devils, hasn’t it? We went from the euphoria of the Kovalchuk signing to the despair of the Kovalchuk signing rescinding, from the stratospheric highs of the first 18 minutes of the first period of the first game of the season to the immeasurable depths of the rest of the first half of the season, from the repulsive sucktitude of the MacLean Era to the “wait, when did they get good“-itude of the Lemaire 3.0 Era, and then from the “stranger things have happened! We can still make the playoffs! Wait, stranger things haven’t happened? Um… I still believe!” post-Langenbrunner run to the “well, that ended with a whimper” coming-up-short. It’s hard to believe this all happened in just the last six months. And it’s hard to sum it up in one post-mortem. Who do you blame? Who do you praise? What’s the predominant narrative angle?

For us, the overarching storyline is all about Chuckles. First, we Chucklesdoodled when he signed with the Devils. Then we sat in stunned silence when his contract was voided. Then we gave the Devils a piece of our mind for so cravenly preying on our Chucklesthusiasm. When the season fell out of the gate with the dull thud of a cold corpse, we made Chuckles cocktails. When Schnookie got a flat tire during our December advent-calendar themed series, we said it was the Kovalchuk day. Even now, when we really have nothing left to say about the Devils, it still seems to us to be the Chuckles Story. As it began, so should it end. Which is why we can eulogize this season in the most Chuckles-appropriate way possible:

A little song/A little dance/A little seltzer down our pants.

Gentle Reader, the 2010-2011 New Jersey Devils.

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Dear Hockey Gods,

We totally only want to to see the Devils win today because we want to leave this season with pleasant memories of our beloved boys in noir, blanc, et rouge. Whatever implications that might have on the opponent’s fortunes is completely immaterial. We swear. ::Wide, innocent eyes::

Love,
The Ookies

Dear Devils,

Love,
The Ookies

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A colleague of Schnookie’s was regaling her today at the office about how he was at a Devils game recently, seated near enough to Lou’s box that he was able to converse with him. Having had almost countless opportunities to chat with Lou back in our Gold Circle days at the Meadowlands, Schnookie was not immediately impressed with this. “Did you chew him out about keeping Langer for too long?” was pretty much all she could think of to say about it. “No,” the colleague said, “He said it was MacLean.” Schnookie was a bit dubious about the likelihood that Lou is telling random fans at games that the season’s failures can all be pinned on John MacLean (and his own failure to fire him a lot sooner than he did), but she wasn’t interested in calling this coworker out, so she just said, “My mother could have told him MacLean was a bad idea the minute he hired him.” (“My mother” makes her sound like a preposterous choice of hockey analyst, doesn’t it?) Then she walked away.

And then she had a BRILLIANT idea. The Devils need to hire Boomer. She has an unerring nose for catastrophic turns the Devils are taking, long before anyone else knows things have gone sideways. For example, in our first year with season tickets (and just our second year as hockey fans) we were, naturally, utterly confident that we were going to see our boys win the Cup. They were at the top of the Eastern Conference standings, and were totally kicking ass left and right, and then they lost one random home game in March. We were both trying to stay optimistic that it was just a blip, but Boomer knew better. “They’re done,” she snarled bitterly as we piled into the car, “The season’s over.” We thought she was being melodramatic and unreasonable, but you know what? She was right. In the years since, she’s always been right. She knows the very instant a March Swoon is starting, and she always responds with profound fury when the team makes a player move that will, in the long run, turn out horribly. When the Devils hired MacLean, she announced that she was done with the Devils until he was gone. We told her she was being ridiculous, but as it turns out, we were the ones who didn’t know what they were talking about.

So here’s what Lou needs to do — he needs to hire Boomer to be his canary in the coal mine. When he’s about to make some kind of personnel move, he can just run it by her first. If she doesn’t respond, then there’s nothing disastrously horrible likely to come from the move. But if she does respond? DON’T DO IT, LOU.

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Welcome back, Zach! Here, we baked you a cake (using our recipe, not Sutter’s).

1-2-3-4 Lemon Cake

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Another season of Devils/Flyers comes to a close with tonight’s game, so join us for an open thread!

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