What’s Better Than The Two Conference Final Matchups?

May 19, 2011 by Schnookie

Why, “Red Dead Redemption”, a.k.a. “Grand Theft Horsie”, that’s what! We have completely fallen down the rabbit hole of Grand Theft Horsie, and frankly, couldn’t care less about the remainder of the playoffs. We feel that we have to say this out loud here, because “I’ve become completely obsessed with Grand Theft Horsie” wasn’t an option on the recent NHL Fan Face Off survey we took asking about the reasons for our current interest level in the playoffs. Sorry, BOLTS!, Bruins, Sharks, and Canucks — you pale in comparison to watching Pookie riding her trusty steed Dapples across the fictional terrain of New Austin, shooting lawmen and sucking at poker. See you next year, NHL.

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Posted in No Thanks, Off-Season | 36 Comments

36 Responses

on May 19, 2011 at 9:24 pm SueNJ97

I feel so old fashioned. I missed the first period not because I have discovered a new computer game, but because I was at my book club. I was reading a book that I didn’t read on a Kindle, I, ummm, borrowed it from my library.
on May 19, 2011 at 9:30 pm Schnookie

Sue, you’re keeping the old ways alive! That’s something to be proud of!! :D

What book was it?
on May 19, 2011 at 9:35 pm SueNJ97

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, by Aimee Bender. It was a strange story and I have to say that the writing style (no direct exposition, all told in a flashback by the main character) isn’t something I like in an entire book.
on May 19, 2011 at 10:07 pm Schnookie

Hm, that does sound like it might be trying too hard…
on May 19, 2011 at 10:09 pm Pookie

Did you read it by candlelight? :)
on May 19, 2011 at 10:34 pm SueNJ97

Did you read it by candlelight? :)

No, but that was only because I was afraid Claude would knock the candle over and set fire to the house. Otherwise I would have re-enacted the 19th century.
on May 19, 2011 at 10:53 pm Schnookie

Sue, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It would have been especially tragic if Claude had set the house on fire, because keeping with the era would have required you attempt to put the fire out with a bucket brigade. That’s totally a bad scene.
on May 20, 2011 at 12:45 am alix

OMG that game sounds AMAZING. Even with my team still in the playoffs. Must buy. Must buy.

HORSIES!
on May 20, 2011 at 12:57 pm mcguffers

My summer plans include finding the creator of Angry Birds and teaching him about physics. I don’t care how many ice blocks you stick out there, when you sling shot an angry red sumo bird to a rickety wood structure, pigs are gonna feel the hurt. Plus, why are there ice blocks in a stage that’s clearly set in the desert? And how does a cowboy hat protect a pig from a concrete block? Really??

Bruins are still in the playoffs? Really? Her?
on May 20, 2011 at 1:17 pm Amy

Calling the game “Grand Theft Horsie” is making me giggle way more than it should.

My summer plans include tending to my tomato & lettuce plants, and sitting on my newly-awning’ed porch with a good book. So far, North & South and The Godfather are on the list.

mcguffers, not to mention there is a penguin-decorated type bird in the game. Last time I checked, penguins don’t fly. (And Sidney diving around to draw a penalty doesn’t count.)
on May 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm Mike in Idaho

Last time I checked, penguins don’t fly.

That’s just what they want you to think.

Ookies, are you playing your horsie game on ps3 or x360?
on May 20, 2011 at 2:07 pm Pookie

And how does a cowboy hat protect a pig from a concrete block? Really??

Those dang pigs are like indestructible. Whole structures will fall on them and they’ll barely flinch. Bastards.

Amy, your plans sound lovely!

Mike, we’re playing on an Xbox360. But it doesn’t seem to want to connect to the internet, so we can’t play multi-player. (We also can’t download “Super Meat Boy” which is really pissing me off. That game sounds a) awesome and b) perfectly suited the way we like to play video games.)
on May 20, 2011 at 3:14 pm Mags

I watched my sister play RDR and we agreed that it was basically GT:H (and that we are both as shit at it as we are the the rest of the GTA’s). I laughed out loud when I read the first line.

Anyway, hockey, is that still on? But it’s nearly June! That’s crazy! Exclamation mark! Horsie!
on May 20, 2011 at 3:37 pm mcguffers

sitting on my newly-awning’ed porch with a good book

I can’t imagine a nicer way to spend the summer!

Interestingly enough, the next video after the Simpsons/penguins video is “Grand Theft Walrus.” Now that’s just weird.
on May 20, 2011 at 7:25 pm Schnookie

Oh man, Amy, you sound like you’ve got summer all figured out! That’s just lovely! I keep thinking I’m going to put together a good summer reading list… and then I’m all, “Or I can watch Pookie play more GT:H instead.” You’re smarter than me.

and that we are both as shit at it as we are the the rest of the GTA’s

Oh man did we ever suck at GTA. Yeesh. I can’t handle more complicated video game controls than Super MarioKart on the Wii, so I can’t play it; Boomer is completely unwilling to break the law, so she just drives around obeying all the posted speed limits; and Pookie realized that driving around the version we had was far too similar to sitting in traffic in Manhattan in real life (plus or minus a bit of running over pedestrian and shooting hookers), so it sort of lost its entertainment value for us. But GT:H? We’re (and by “we” I mean “Pookie, with Boomer and me as her eyes and ears”) awesome at it!

And mcguggs, dude, I could write a book — SEVERAL BOOKS! — about Angry Birds obstinate refusal to obey the rules of physics. Those fuckers! I killed them! I KILLED THEM DEAD!!!
on May 20, 2011 at 9:16 pm SueNJ97

My summer reading list is:

Whatever the book club chooses, next is Little Bee, by Chris Cleaver
She-Wolves (The Women Who Ruled England before Elizabeth I)
Jane Boleyn (The True Story of the Infamous Lady Rochford) Apparently she didn’t deliberately inform on George and Anne in order to get them executed. Who knew.
If I can manage it, I’m going to try and start on the A Song of Ice and Fire books, that ought to keep me busy
I also have a list of Civil War books I want to get to, I already finished The Killer Angels by Shaara
on May 20, 2011 at 9:22 pm Schnookie

Whoa, Sue, impressive! “She-Wolves” sounds really interesting — I expect a full report! My goal this summer is to finish “Battle Cry of Freedom”, which I’ve been working on since, oh… January.
on May 20, 2011 at 9:47 pm SueNJ97

I’ve already read the section on Matilda (daughter of Henry I, mother of Henry II), who was her father’s heir, but her cousin Stephen, who took the oath to uphold her rights, showed up in Winchester and claimed the throne instead. It has good, new information about her life and why they went with Stephen and not her – originally, and after it looked like she had beaten him partway through his reign.

Unfortunately, her failure meant it became almost imporssible for a woman to excercise power on her own behalf in England until Mary Tudor did so – and we all know the story of the lengths that Henry VIII went to try and avoid that happening. The other women in the book (other than Mary), all ‘ruled’ in the name of husbands or sons and, in the end, Matilda wound up fighting for her son’s right to the throne.

What was very interesting was, although Henry II’s house became known as Planagenet (after Planta Genesta, a broom flower that his father, Geoffrey the Fair, Count of Anjou, wore in this hair), he called himself Henry Fitz Empress, after his mother, whose first husband had been the Holy Roman Emperor. Henry was quite clear about who he owed his good fortune to, it was his mother, and he wanted to honor her.
on May 20, 2011 at 9:55 pm Schnookie

Wow, that is really fascinating stuff, Sue! I honestly had no idea. My knowledge of really any European history is meager at best, so this is all news to me. :D
on May 21, 2011 at 3:36 pm carolbrowne

Did you find the Sasquatch yet? Poor guy. He only eats berries. Mike Browne shot him and then felt bad for hours afterward. Learn from Mike! Don’t shoot the Sasquatch!
on May 21, 2011 at 6:23 pm Schnookie

There’s a SASQUATCH??? Man, I love this game!
on May 21, 2011 at 7:19 pm don

i looked at a couple of trailers for that game, it looks really neat but waaayyyy to complicated to play for me, i’m afraid that ‘plants vs zombies’ is about my speed… :D
on May 21, 2011 at 7:35 pm Pookie

don, it’s actually not as complicated to play as it seems (at least so far). They do a really good job of training you how to use all the various buttons as the early parts of the game goes along.
on May 22, 2011 at 12:38 pm mcguffers

i’m afraid that ‘plants vs zombies’ is about my speed…

Seriously I love that game! But I yell at that one too. “He’s been hit with 12 frozen peas and 8 watermelons! He’s freaking dead… again!!”

I told a co worker to bet on Tampa Bay yesterday, but because I’ve boycotted the playoffs, he decided to NOT take my advice and bet on the Bruins because the other co worker (who asked how much time is in between periods) said the Bruins were back and awesome. Well ya know who never left and is still awesome? This girl.

And did alix flash Ben Eager in the penalty box?
on May 22, 2011 at 11:40 pm Myra

The theme for Grace and my summer is going to be Home Ec 101. Cooking, sewing and “housekeeping”. Does that sound totally 1950′s?

We closed on the house in KC on Friday! Dave and I met our first neighbors on Saturday. They are French Canadian and of course huge Montreal fans. When I asked what are we going to do when the Dallas plays Montreal, he said have a big party! I like this guy. They have an adorable 3 year-old daughter. (Looks like Grace has her summer job baby sitting all lined up.)

He did tell us that the family that lives across the street are Dead Wings fans. Oh well, I guess you can’t have everything.
on May 23, 2011 at 8:55 am Pookie

Congratulations on closing on the house, Myra! That’s so exciting! And that’s awesome that you’re already finding hockey fans in the neighborhood (even if they have questionable tastes in teams).
on May 23, 2011 at 6:36 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Congratulations on the new house, Myra! That’s so exciting!!! And you’re TOTALLY classing up the neighborhood, hockey-wise. I bet they’re excited to have you moving in. (Also, your ’50s-style summer sounds awesome. :D)
on May 23, 2011 at 8:45 pm Schnookie

Is that the new house in your photostream, Myra? Because it looks fantastic!!! (If it’s your old house, well, it also looks fantastic. And if it’s a stranger’s house, pass along my compliments. :P)
on May 23, 2011 at 9:13 pm Patty (in Dallas)

OOH!! Myra! That’s so exciting! Now you can start your paint chip collection. :D

(What photostream are you talking about, Schnookie?)
on May 23, 2011 at 9:23 pm Patty (in Dallas)

(Never mind. Heh.)
on May 23, 2011 at 10:29 pm Myra

Yes, that is the new house on my flickr account. I added a few more pics this weekend so I could reference them while trying to decid where all the furniture is going to fit and where I want to put everything in the kitchen. I have a lot of furniture and a lot of dishes. It could get tricky.
on May 24, 2011 at 10:29 am Frisby

Grand Theft Horsie sounds awesome. I have some PSN friends that already have it and suggested that I pick it up.

While the PSN was down though I wandered through a game store just to browse and found a PC game that has sucked up days of my free time already. If you have a creative side DO NOT buy Spore if you want to continue to have a life. You start off as a tiny single cell creature and as you collect DNA you can evolve your creature. Then when you advance to civilization stage you can create your own houses, entertainment buildings, industrial buildings, land/sea/air vehicles, and even theme music. Then advance to space stage and design a spacecraft and wander the universe colonizing planets and collecting tools to modify planet landscapes.

As far as the playoffs go, I’m still watching what I can with my 3rd shift schedule. I usually have to leave for work halfway through any of the weekday games. There’s no teams left that I like or hate though.
on May 24, 2011 at 1:32 pm Mike in Idaho

Glad to see another PS3 user here Frisby, I thought I was the only one. I may have to try this Grand Theft Horsie game out, it got a lot of good reviews when it came out and the denizens here seem to think highly of it as well. I personally weathered the PSN storm by playing Gran Turismo 5 where I can drive like I want to instead of following the restrictive laws of society.
on May 24, 2011 at 3:27 pm alix

And did alix flash Ben Eager in the penalty box?

LOLLERSKATES! to quote Carol. I love that you thought that was me. I guess I have a rep :D While having seats that good for a playoff game would probably lend me to flashing, I’d say it for someone better than Ben Eager.

Matty Ohlund helllooooo!
on May 25, 2011 at 9:27 am Pookie

Frisby, Spore sounds AWESOME. It sounds like Sim City to the nth degree!
on May 25, 2011 at 7:24 pm Kathleen

Is it okay to be mad that the Sabres’ birthday twinsie decided to go ahead and make the Finals without its EC counterpart? Because I totally am. (And, err, congrats Alix & Carol. You guys still partying?)