Wherein We Are SO Cool

Say, have you ever seen the “Darmok” episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation? [SPOILERS!] It’s the one where the Enterprise meets an alien race that has stymied the Federation for decades and decades because they are so unintelligible. And then the alien ship kidnaps Captain Picard and beams him down to the nearest planet along with their own captain, who keeps proclaiming shit like, “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra!” and “Shaka, when the walls fell!” and “Temba, his arms wide!” And after a few days’ ordeal trying to communicate with the alien captain, while fighting a monster that lives on the planet, Picard realizes that this seemingly gibberish-babbling race of aliens is actually communicating with metaphors from their culture. The crew of the Enterprise uses “Juliet on the balcony” as an example of human culture spoken that way to mean something romantic.

Anyway. So there we are early this evening, watering the garden, and Pookie suddenly realizes that our sunflowers, which were tiny seedlings just a few days ago, are now towering beasts. They are like mighty oaks. And to express their awesome stature and strength? She stands, arms akimbo, and bellows, “Stevens, in the neutral zone!” Ahhh, when dork worlds collide.

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