Some Thoughts, Not Very Interesting Ones

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Some Thoughts, Not Very Interesting Ones

June 17, 2011 by Schnookie

– So we’re sitting there watching another episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and an alien dies sort of mysteriously. When Dr. Crusher does the autopsy, she discovers that his physiology is crazy weird compared to humans’ — because he has no distinct organs, he died because of a “complete systemic failure”. As she explains it to Picard, Pookie breaks down the science in terms we can all understand: “He died of coach-killing. We can’t definitively single out any one element, but it’s likely it could have been excessive exposure to the element Langenbrunnerium.”

– Later in the same episode Crusher starts conducting her own murder investigation on the Enterprise, and Pookie wonders, “Why don’t they have MPs?” “Yeah,” says Schnookie, “Where’s Jack Reacher?” Pause. “I would love to see Reacher in the Star Trek universe.” Pookie: “Totally! Reeeeaaaaacher! Iiiiiiinnn!!! SPAAAAAAAACE! And instead of being played by Tom Cruise, Reacher could be played by Link Hogthrob.”

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Posted in Off-Season | 40 Comments

40 Responses

on June 18, 2011 at 11:00 pm Pam

That pig thing, whatever it is, terrifies me.
on June 19, 2011 at 2:33 pm Schnookie

Link Hogthrob? Terrifying?? Pam, I’m shocked! Did you not spend your childhood dinners watching The Muppet Show with your family like we did? :D
on June 19, 2011 at 10:37 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Link Hogthrob is NEVER NOT FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
on June 19, 2011 at 10:57 pm Pam

Schnookie…uhhhh…I’ve never seen that thing before in my life!
on June 20, 2011 at 10:08 am Pookie

Thank you, Patty! I’m glad someone here loves the Hogthrob. ::pointedly stares at Pam::

(Pam, here’s some Pigs in Space for you:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCUWwKqWVU0&feature=related
on June 20, 2011 at 11:52 am Amy

Add me to the list of those that think the world needs more Link Hogthrob. How about we replace Pierre with the Hogthrob for between the benches commentary?
on June 20, 2011 at 12:04 pm Schnookie

Amy, you’re a GENIUS! Link Hogthrob would be the rare sideline reporter I actually go out of my way to watch games for. NBC and Blersus, get on this! (Also, he’s likely taller than Pierre, right?)
on June 20, 2011 at 1:59 pm Pam

::hides from Schnookie::

He’s not quite as bad in color. But in black and white, yikes!
on June 20, 2011 at 2:01 pm Schnookie

Link Hogthrob is awesome, in color, in black-and-white, in whatever! :P
on June 20, 2011 at 3:35 pm Pookie

How about we replace Pierre with the Hogthrob for between the benches commentary?

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That. Would. ROCK.
on June 20, 2011 at 3:45 pm suenj97

Also, he’s likely taller than Pierre, right?

Probably, but it wouldn’t matter. He could be a very short Hogthrob (most stars in Hollywood are) and he would still be an improvement over Pierre. Besides, we can make him wear lifts under his hooves.
on June 20, 2011 at 4:08 pm suenj97

If there any way we can make sure teams we like aren’t exposed to the element Langenbrunnerium – and possibly find a way to expose teams we dislike? Is there a vaccine – and a way to isolate the element and contaminate evil teams?

What about the element Gomezium? Is it more or less destructive than Langenbrunnerium?
on June 20, 2011 at 7:14 pm Schnookie

He could be a very short Hogthrob (most stars in Hollywood are) and he would still be an improvement over Pierre. Besides, we can make him wear lifts under his hooves.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

As for Langenbrunnerium, I think we definitely need to learn how to weaponize it. I mean, what could be more powerfully destructive than that?? (Gomezium is too unstable to do anything like that with. Fortunately, it’s plenty destructive when left to its own devices.)
on June 21, 2011 at 11:34 am Grrrreg

Gomezium has some unusual properties. It instantly sucks millions out of your bank account (not unlike Reddenium and other elements put in the vicinity of Satherium), but it has no known utility (although Gomezium is usually very good at deflecting blame). It generally just floats around.
Sigh.
on June 22, 2011 at 9:43 am Mags

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::: Everybody.
on June 22, 2011 at 7:22 pm Kathleen

Y’all are liveblogging this thing tonight, right? I’ve just returned from nearly three weeks of computer-less existence with new laptop in hand (HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Don’t make me spend all night talking to myself. (Because you know I will.)
on June 22, 2011 at 8:31 pm Schnookie

Grrrreg, :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And no, we’re not live-blogging this thing tonight. Nor are we even watching it. Dude. We’ve got LA Noire to play. :P
on June 22, 2011 at 8:32 pm Schnookie

We might liveblog the first four picks of the draft, though. :D
on June 22, 2011 at 8:50 pm Kathleen

Fair enough; nor am I. I will say that Lidstrom for Norris is bullhonky.

We might liveblog the first four picks of the draft, though. :D

Heh.
on June 22, 2011 at 9:08 pm Kathleen

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Corey Perry Corey Perry?!????!?!?! Where’s my hand sanitizer?
on June 23, 2011 at 8:11 am Amy

We’ve got LA Noire to play.

I looked this one up and it sounds like fun.

I did not watch the NHL Awards either, but I did go and look at the pictures of everyone in their big boy suits posing awkwardly. Some things never change.

And definitely check out the Getzi/Bobby Ryan video on the NHL site. It’s quite charming.
on June 23, 2011 at 10:45 am Schnookie

I am SO psyched that CoreyPerry CoreyPerry won the Hart! What a FABULOUS result to come out of a generally pretty gross hockey season. (I mean this very seriously. I love CoreyPerry CoreyPerry.) I haven’t had a chance yet to look at all the boys in their big-boy suits, but I can’t wait to — that is definitely one of life’s great pleasures. (I am also REALLY looking forward to the new B-Ry/Getzi video.)

Meanwhile, WOO HOO! for Schedule Day!
on June 23, 2011 at 11:30 am Pookie

WOOOOOOO!!! Schedule Day!!!! This has been such a shitty week at work, it’s so nice to know I can take lunch at 2 and spend the whole hour typing the Devils games into my calendar! (Yes, I’m a dork. Also, I just had my world rocked by Office 2010′s inclusion of a “insert screenshot” option which automatically recognizes all of your open windows in other programs. I’m a big, big dork.)

And add me to the list of people who love that CoreyPerry CoreyPerry is the reigning MVP. That shit’s hilarious, man. Also, I cued up the Getzi/Ryan skit first thing this morning; I think they did a great job following up on last year’s masterpiece.
on June 23, 2011 at 1:57 pm Amy

I think they did a great job following up on last year’s masterpiece.

They did, but poor Getzi is getting to the point where he should seriously start considering a Tim Connolly hairdo. And let this be the first and last time that anyone every look to Timmy as a role model, LOL.
on June 23, 2011 at 2:17 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Yay for schedule day! I’m so excited about the actual schedule this year because it affects me every dang day! (I have a season ticket! Woo!) Is that enough exclamation points, do you think? :P

The Stars’ Western Canadian Road Swings are both in March, so that gives me time to contemplate that as a road trip. I’ve always wanted to go to all three games (or at least Oilers and Flames games) and take a stroll toward Banff. Should I do it? Who’s in?
on June 23, 2011 at 2:27 pm Pookie

Patty, that sounds like a great idea!

Dude, the Devils second game is a 1:00 matinee on a holiday I don’t get off. Thanks, Devils. So it begins.
on June 23, 2011 at 2:34 pm Schnookie

Are the Devils doing their traditional Columbus Day matinee? (I haven’t been able to pull up the schedule yet…) I hate that one!
on June 23, 2011 at 2:37 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Why do they have games during the day on Columbus Day?!? It’d be one thing if it were a Canadian holiday, but most people in the US don’t get it off. Crazy!
on June 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm Schnookie

I think Columbus Day and Canadian Thanksgiving coincide, don’t they? Or am I on drugs? Either way, it’s not something most Americans have off, so why the Devils persist in playing matinees with the Islanders every year is completely beyond me! :P
on June 23, 2011 at 2:51 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Oh, well if it’s Canadian Thanksgiving, that’s one thing. But yeah, why would they care about the Devils vs. the Islanders?
on June 23, 2011 at 2:58 pm Schnookie

Okay, I looked it up and I have to admit that I was being extremely unfair to the scheduler and to the Islanders. Our Columbus Day matinee is against our other least-favorite traditional matinee opponent — Carolina! Some things never change… :P
on June 23, 2011 at 3:00 pm Schnookie

Hey, Patty, we could come visit you in October again, and see the Devils in person! Because it’s not tense enough to watch the games together on the television, just imagine how fun it would be live! :D
on June 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm Amy

why the Devils persist in playing matinees with the Islanders every year is completely beyond me!

Could you even blame a Kids Day promo for that?

The only weekday matinee for my guys is the first game in Germany. The start of hockey season is a good reason for a half-day off of work, right?
on June 23, 2011 at 3:27 pm Schnookie

Could you even blame a Kids Day promo for that?

You have to wonder what kind of deranged sicko would plan a Devils/Islanders Kids Day. I mean, what, is that the promo meant to turn kids off hockey forever? :P

And NOTHING is better than those start-of-season days off! There are very few justifications for a “sick day” I can think of that are better than “my team is playing a game in Germany”.
on June 23, 2011 at 3:50 pm Mike in Idaho

I love schedule day. I have thought of a great Newark road trip that will feature Lightning/Devils on Mar. 29, Cinematic Titanic aka Mystery Science Theater on Mar. 30, with the possible addition of Blackhawks/Devils on Mar. 27. Now I just have to fill out the credit card applications for a free flight and talk the Mrs. into it…
on June 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm Schnookie

Mike, that sounds awesome!!! I’m still not sure what our hockey travel’s going to look like this season. Will we get to the Rawk for a game or two? Will we go to Columbus (now with more Farts!) again? It’s so exciting to consider all the possibilities!
on June 23, 2011 at 4:11 pm Amy

Someone check to make sure the Philly sportswriters haven’t exploded yet. First Farts, now Beaks. Good grief.
on June 23, 2011 at 4:45 pm carolbrowne

Happy Schedule Day, everybody! Man, October 6th is right around the corner.
on June 23, 2011 at 4:49 pm suenj97

Someone check to make sure the Philly sportswriters haven’t exploded yet. First Farts, now Beaks. Good grief.

Forget Philly sportwriters. I’m wondering if I should just check a few sites to see if Philly fans have exploded. Because for all they have complained, they were pretty sure Richards wasn’t going anywhere (although I really don’t think they can complain about what they got back – but they will).
on June 23, 2011 at 5:46 pm don thornton

tranny brides get a makeover…flyer fans must feel like they are watching stacy and clinton on TLC’s ‘what not to wear’ having the two of them throw out the players in the old uniforms and getting a new set of players for the flyer fans…lol

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/news/story?id=6697235

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/news/story?id=6697424