Indoor hockey.
You Know What We Love?
January 2, 2012 by Schnookie
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I watched a winter classic game today for the first time. Didn’t feel super duper special, and it’s weird not seeing fans against the glass.
Nice to see media at a hockey game though.
Yeah, I can’t really argue with the fact that it’s a big media event, but as an already-converted hockey fan, I kind of don’t have much use for watching the event itself. Especially now that any novelty of seeing a game played in a major outdoor sporting facility has completely worn off.
One of the (many) problems with the Winter Classic is that it’s a terrible TV event. Thank Larsson the Devils will never, ever be asked to participate so I can go the rest of my life never having to watch it again.
There has been some discussion here at stately IPB Manor that it might be time to replace our sad, sagging sofa. Pookie just remarked that Gel-O might be sending us a sign with his choice of sport coat this evening.
Is it structurally unsound? Or could you get away with some detailing – restuffing cushions and re-upholstering, maybe?
I was watching one of the bowl games and it ocurred to me that, now, the only differences between that and the Winter Classic are:
No Cheerleaders (yet)
No Marching Bands
Bowls are played in warm weather locations (obviously, that would defeat the purpose)
And I’ve now lost the TV feed. Not that they were looking that great….
That’s a tough call, Gunner. It would need a pretty massive overhaul if we were going to have it refreshed. Our couch has lived an awfully rough life. And we have no idea how to go about getting it refurbished, but do know how to get a new one, so we might just end up taking the path of least resistance… :P
It seems to me that at this point, everyone loves “24/7″ more than the Winter Classic. It seems sort of a waste that they only do, like, four episodes. They should have it run all season. And put the focus back on the Cup instead of some random mid-season game that’s played in sub-par conditions.
Oooh, Chico sure is being smug about Lou’s “everyone must wear helmets in practice” rule. Heh heh.
TV picture is back, but no sound. That means no Chico. That could be fine.
Picture on, sound off is pretty much perfection!
24/7 is really the only reason I’d want to see the Devils in a Winter Classic.
I agree about what to do w/24/7, except I’m not sure HBO would do a sports series like that. Even their dramatic series are about 10 episodes per season. I’m not sure they would commit to running something every week during the season – maybe from January on.
Either that, or NBC Sports Channel – formerly Blersus – will have to take it on.
The NHL did recently create a NFL Films equivalent. Now all we need is an “Inside the NFL” knock-off.
Poor Travis! Is it possible to get any closer to scoring without actually getting a goal?
Woo?
I like a from-January-on plan. Go for it, NHL!
Le sigh.
Dare I say it? That was not a period for the ages.
Foster looks like he should have a scar on his forehead and bolts sticking out of his neck.
Foster looks like he should have a scar on his forehead and bolts sticking out of his neck.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: (I admired his honesty that he didn’t like the Senators. So true, Foster. I mean, NO ONE likes the Senators, right?)
A co-worker asked me last week if I’d ever been to Canada. I mentioned that I’d been to Ottawa and she was all, “Hm, Montreal is a long drive and Ottawa is closer. Should I go there? Is there anything to do there?” Me: “No. And NO.”
If that “two guys behind the goal line on the 5-on-3″ formation doesn’t take the NHL by storm, I’ll be shocked. Wait, or the opposite of that…
“Hm, Montreal is a long drive and Ottawa is closer. Should I go there? Is there anything to do there?” Me: “No. And NO.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I believe that’s the motto of the Ottawa Dept of Tourism.
I believe that’s the motto of the Ottawa Dept of Tourism.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Hey, being closer to drive to than something else is a perfectly good business model. :P
If that “two guys behind the goal line on the 5-on-3″ formation doesn’t take the NHL by storm
Maybe that was that “Torpedo” shit they kept saying was going to take the NHL by storm ages ago but which never happened!
I believe that’s the motto of the Ottawa Dept of Tourism.
it should be! I mean, isn’t it always best to tell the truth?
Hey, being closer to drive to than something else is a perfectly good business model
It’s how the American side of the falls gets people. That and you don’t need an enhanced license.
That puck COMPLETELY crossed the line. I demand a goal here!
You know Gel-o that breakaway seemed like a dangerous shot. I did stretch my imagination, I suppose, insofar as I imagined the goal was going to go into the net before Marty tried to trick me into thinking he hasn’t retired yet.
well, that one did
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fine. I’ll take that one instead. (Zubrus is an unstoppable goal-scoring machine!)
You know when teams just need an ugly goal? I think the Devils just needed a Zubrus-style goal. It’s all gonna be awesome from here on out!
WOO? My feed skipped right past the goal. I got all 5 five seconds of the non-face-off, but it skipped past the goal.
GCL is skipping all over the place now for me. That or Ottawa has somehow drifted into some sort of distortion of the space-time continuum.
I wouldn’t put it past Ottawa to have drifted into a distortion of the time-space continuum. That seems just like them.
Maybe I was selling Ottawa short. Maybe my co-worker would like to go up there and see a wormhole in person!
Well, before Gunner’s feed went wacko, mine was bad all evening. Now mine is fine and Gunnar’s has problems. Maybe there’s been a distortion os the STC around Ottawa all night.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
I wouldn’t put it past Ottawa to have drifted into a distortion of the time-space continuum. That seems just like them.
Seems like it would probably help tourism:
,stay for the hospitality
OTTAWA
Come for the distortion of space-time continuum.
WOOOO!!!
Why can’t my feed go black now?! WHY!?!
My roommate got me one of those HD antennas after we canceled cable and while all the basic channels come in pretty great, CBS only comes in if the antenna sits on the radiator. I’m not sure how safe that is, but gotta love that “2 Broke Girls”. Still no hockey though.
,stay for the hospitality
OTTAWA
Come for the distortion of space-time continuum.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Well played!
All season long, whenever a fight breaks out I get sad because I can’t help but think of Derek Boogard.
,stay for the hospitality
OTTAWA
Come for the distortion of space-time continuum.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m SO impressed that you can make a joke like that while having your brain dulled by a Devils-Sens game.
I’m SO impressed that you can make a joke like that while having your brain dulled by a Devils-Sens game.
Crosswords, Kakuro, and KenKen. Keeps the mind sharp.
Also, humor is a contact sport in my family.
All season long, whenever a fight breaks out I get sad because I can’t help but think of Derek Boogard.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. I love that even Chico is stuck apologizing for fighting in the NHL every time there’s one in a Devils game.
Also, humor is a contact sport in my family.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The funfetti-shit continuum is still operating in Ottawa.
Sorry, but most memorable moment of this game was when Myra said that Gel-O needs to stop letting Chico talk too much. Doc kept him better in check. Gel-O needs more stories to keep Chico off-balance.
That’s a great point by Myra! Gel-O needs to stop editing himself.
Yes, but then we’d have to hear Gel-O. My suggestion: Gel-O should just keep giving Chico food.
Yes, but then we’d have to hear Gel-O. My suggestion: Gel-O should just keep giving Chico food.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
My suggestion: Gel-O should just keep giving Chico food.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Your so right.
Picking up on the “Condra and Taormina played junior together” chat between Chico and, well, himself: Condra is apparently a form of conder: which apparently is a person who stands on shore and points to fish: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conder
I assume that this means that he helped Taormina find choice mullets in Texarkana.
I wonder if Condra is sad that fish-finding computers (i.e. robots) have put him out of a job.
Shocker!?! How many times have I seen a shot from that angle go in against Brodeur over the years?
Funfetti.
Look, there is a point at which the Devils have blown so many third-period leads, and have given up so many shorties, and have given up so many from-out-of-nowhere, totally soft goals that Chico needs to stop saying, “That’s a shocker.” No, Chico. It is literally the opposite of a shocker.
I assume that this means that he helped Taormina find choice mullets in Texarkana.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I have to admit, standing on shore and pointing to the fish sounds like a far better job than getting the fish out of the water. “There’s one. Oh, nope — you missed it. There’s another one…”
And I thought the Stars were bad at giving up late 3rd period goals.
I’m sure the Devils just want a dramatic late winning goal to keep everyone awake.
Shocking.
Wait, no…
Well, that sucked. OT was looking like it was going swimmingly, too. Sigh.
The fact that Clarkson’s mouthing off after screwing up and taking the penalty that cost them the game? No, not shocking at all. I’m having Langenbrunner flashbacks. It’s despressing, disturbing, and nauseating, but not shocking.
Oh, Blersus. You might have changed your name, but we still know it’s you. And we still hold a grudge. Where’s our magnetic playoff tracker???
Oh, Doc, how I’ve missed you, let me count the ways…
Pierre Mcguire…not so much, well not at all. Pierre, do you happen to speak french? I’m just asking, you know, for a friend.
I still can’t believe we whored ourselves out to them and got nothing. Lessons learned. Lessons learned.
Speaking of lessons learned, why can’t Janssen and Thorton fight in some secondary rink while the regular goes on uninterrupted?
Pierre Mcguire…not so much, well not at all. Pierre, do you happen to speak french? I’m just asking, you know, for a friend.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Pierre has been in fine form already tonight. I’m not sure WHAT language he’s speaking.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why can’t Janssen and Thorton fight in some secondary rink while the regular goes on uninterrupted?
They’re in Newark, right? Then the practice rink is attached. There should be some way to banish them. Oh, and WOOOOOO!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I mean…Clarkson scored? Yeah, still not enough for me to come back.
I thought it was Parise. I was distracted by Claude.
Booooooooooooo!!!
That was… horrible.
Pierre makes my ears vomit. In case anyone was wondering.
Me: “Was Pierre just talking about Cher with DeBoer?”
Pookie: “I think he was just offering to show DeBoer his Cher outfit.”
Me: “It’s the one with the long zipper.”
Pookie: “What?”
Me: “Remember in–”
Pookie starts taking a big sip of wine…
Me: “–Arr–”
Wine goes everywhere
Me: “–ested Development. Thank you.”
And now the eyes are vomiting. Funfetti.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
In the words of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, “I am most seriously displeased”.
In the words of Lady Pookie de IPB Manor, “Fuck this shit.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I prefer not to think that the Bruins are good — rather, the Devils are bad. I mean, come ON. :P
Was that just the first time this season that the Devils gave up a short-handed scoring that didn’t result in a goal?
No sooner did I type that than it became moot. Never mind.
I was much happier when Tallinder was out with back spasms.
Well, I like the Winter Classic. It’s the perfect addition to a bacon sandwich when nursing a New Year’s hangover (at least when it’s on New Years). When it snowed that one time, it looked awesome. And when the Penguins had to play in stupid rain, the schadenfreude was awesome.
Bowls are played in warm weather locations (obviously, that would defeat the purpose)
Only the good ones. The International Bowl’s in Toronto. Toronto!
Woah, 7 faceoff wins? Who’s taking them, Elias?
I don’t think NJ should schedule the Bruins anymore.
I don’t think NJ should schedule anyone anymore.
I agree, Tim. I’ve tuned this game out in favor of reading the Fedco seed catalog.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bum.
Damn these 7:00 start times! I’ve been in and out of the living room while puttering on dinner, and I wanted to be able to say WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! But by the time I sat down now, I had to add a BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hmph.
Bumfetti.
So, both teams are trying to kill Henrique.
So, both teams are trying to kill Henrique.
There will be an uprising of Henriqueists about this. We will bring our cloaks and woodland effigies, and we will rain down wrath and possibly human sacrifice!
we will rain down wrath and possibly human sacrifice!
When Foster’s shot hit Henrique in the ankle and he was in the locker room, I was thinking that if he missed time, it might require human sacrifice to satisfy the Henriquists. But, Foster is kind of useful, so I thought one of the 4th liners or maybe Adam Oates could be substituted.
But, Foster is kind of useful, so I thought one of the 4th liners or maybe Adam Oates could be substituted.
Yeah, we won’t accept Foster because, while our god is a wrathful god, he’s also not totally short-sighted about the Devils. As for the 4th liners, we don’t want to offend our wrathful god. Seriously, Boulton or — ::shudder:: — Janssen? Yeah, that’ll never work. So I guess that leaves Oates! Let’s get to it!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::throws green bowler hats into the air::
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go Patty!
BOOOOOOOOOOO. That’s big bumfetti.
In re: Barch’s suspension, one of my greatest regrets (and shocks) from this season is the racial slur-ification of the great comic tradition of slipping on banana peels. Being a big slapstick fan, and mostly oblivious to what I consider old-fashioned forms of racism, this has been quite a difficult education for me. :P
(I meant to post that quite a few minutes ago, but got distracted. It was much more of-the-moment when Barch had actually just scored, and Chico and Gel-O had just uncomfortably mentioned his suspension.)
What’s this about slipping on banana peels being racist? I was told banana peels were a stand-in for poop, which was a quite common slip-causer in cities in the early days of cinematography, given the horse had yet to be replaced fully by the automobile.
Bananas are used as symbols to call black people monkeys. Therefore, saying that a black player who fell down slipped on a banana peel is also considered in the same vein.
I was told banana peels were a stand-in for poop, which was a quite common slip-causer in cities in the early days of cinematography, given the horse had yet to be replaced fully by the automobile.
Whoa, seriously? That… actually makes a lot of sense. Of course, banana peels are really slippery, and are also inherently really funny. I mean, they’re banana peels! (Have I mentioned here that one of my proudest moments in life was actually slipping on an actual banana peel in actual real life? Because it was. Proud. And very slippery.)
Anyway, this proliferation of “slipping on banana peel” incidents directed at black NHLers is making one of my favorite jokes increasingly taboo. This is awful! Honestly, when the fan in whichever city it was tossed that peel onto the ice during Simmonds’s shoot-out attempt, I initially thought, “That’s HILARIOUS! Wait… people are outraged? Hm. I should keep this to myself.”
Schnookie, there’s nothing taboo about it if you use it on, say, Clarkson. Not that he needs the help.
Schnookie, there’s nothing taboo about it if you use it on, say, Clarkson. Not that he needs the help.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Right! That’s very encouraging and cheering!
My favorite thing about slipping on banana peels is Charlie Chaplin saying that some people might have thought it was funny for a fat lady to walk down the street and slip on a banana peel, but he knew it was actually funnier if the fat lady noticed the banana peel before stepping on it, carefully stepped over it — and then fell down a manhole. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Manholes aren’t racist, are they?)
Huh, I must have missed all this.
(Manholes aren’t racist, are they?)
Sexist?
(Manholes aren’t racist, are they?)
Sexist?
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, but “personhole” isn’t funny at all.
At 3:11 they discuss the origin of slipping on banana peels, though Jimmy Carr saying “someone told me” makes it sound a bit dodgy. He has done books on the history of comedy though.
Did Barch run into Clarkson’s shoulder?
Yeah, but “personhole” isn’t funny at all.
Depends on who steps in which personhole.
I’m trying to wrap my mind around the idea of Olli Jokinen as a marquis player.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, but “personhole” isn’t funny at all.
Depends on who steps in which personhole.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Also, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was awesomer than someone slipping on a banana peel and consequently plummeting headfirst down a personhole!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me five seconds ago: “Why the hell is Kovy on the PK?”
Me now: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (It might be safe to do that now)
DOUBLE WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me five seconds ago: “Why the hell is Kovy on the PK?”
Me now: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, he proved us wrong!
Yay Patty
Awwww, Patty’s so adorable!
Poor Patty, his reward for getting 1st star is to be interviewed by Deb. But, I guess it could be worse, it could have been Stan. Nice job by Patty in the interview, very nice touch at the end.
My version of the 3 stars:
3rd Star: Our Cult Leader
2nd Star: Chuckles, the good persona
1st Star: Captain Hugs
I’ll take those three stars, Sue!
And that interview with Patty was ADORABLE. In case anyone was wondering.
Hey guys! This Boston Canucks game is fighty. I’m enjoying it immensely. Thornton looks like an neanderthal.
*crickets*
Hey Carol! We’ve been in and out with the hockey today — we’re being such go-getters with the round-the-house chores here. I did see the fighty highlights, though! I’m glad you’ve got a good angry game on for some early-morning hockey. :D