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January 14, 2012 by Schnookie

Gunner asked for it, so here’s a fresh new thread.

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Posted in Open Thread | 85 Comments

85 Responses

on January 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm EJGRgunner

Aaaah. Is that the delightful scent of Febreeze? And just a hint of cinnamon?

As for the today, Henrique’s groin injury sounds kind of mysterious. I suspect it has something to do with sacrificial virgins.

And just to reiterate: I can’t decide if Parise’s #9 team hoodie is so super cool that I must have one or super dorky that I should just pretend that I never saw it. All I know for sure is that Boxworthy must hate it.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm Schnookie

Picking up where the last thread left off, I completely agree about Zach’s sweatshirt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a garment that managed to be simultaneously so rad and so embarrassingly awful.

And speaking of embarrassing, these Winnipeg fans booing Kovalchuk are redefining the very notion of idiotic fanbase douchery. If I was an Atlanta fan I’d spend all of my vacation time up in Winnipeg punching these people in the throat.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:19 pm Schnookie

We added that cinnamon scent just for you, Gunner. I’m so glad you noticed!

I suspect it has something to do with sacrificial virgins.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: How else would he have injured it?
on January 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm Pookie

Boxworthy is confused by the hoodie. He’s like, “I say, I have a hood built in. Needing a separate garment for a hood is so uncivilized.”
on January 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm EJGRgunner

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a garment that managed to be simultaneously so rad and so embarrassingly awful.

Really it all hangs on his number on the front. If a fan were wearing it, I’m sure it would look pretty nice. Zach wearing it is somewhere between a douchey jock in his varsity jacket and dorky 3rd grader with his own name on his shirt.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm Schnookie

Zach wearing it is somewhere between a douchey jock in his varsity jacket and dorky 3rd grader with his own name on his shirt.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: The key here is that it’s Zach. Anyone else would just look like a jock in his varsity jacket, but there’s always an element of “his mom clipped his mittens to his sleeves” about Zach.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm Amy

Zach wearing it is somewhere between a douchey jock in his varsity jacket and dorky 3rd grader with his own name on his shirt.

LOL. The fan edition of the sweatshirt is $65. For that price, the name and number had better be hand attached/bedazzled.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm suenj97

I checked on the NJD site. They are selling it for $65. At that price, I vote for embarrassingly awful.

there’s always an element of “his mom clipped his mittens to his sleeves” about Zach.

Yep. He’s getting married this summer, and somehow, it seems like he needs parental permission.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm EJGRgunner

Hmm. Don’t normally see Larsson, HBTN, on the PK. Wonder if DeBoer is trying to jump start his offense?
on January 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm Schnookie

For that price, the name and number had better be hand attached/bedazzled.

At that price, I vote for embarrassingly awful.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to both of you!
on January 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm Schnookie

Wow, I’d forgotten all about Johnny Oduya.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm EJGRgunner

Wow, I’d forgotten all about Johnny Oduya.

I get the feeling you’re not the only one.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm EJGRgunner

I think someone burned the cinnamon. It smells like funfetti in this thread now.
on January 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm Schnookie

I think someone burned the cinnamon. It smells like funfetti in this thread now.

Yeah. The cinnamon’s really looking — and smelling — like a bad idea now.
on January 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm Mags

For that price, the name and number had better be hand attached/bedazzled.

By a skilled local artisan, mind you.

Sorry about that goal y’all. That was me, zapping over to watch hockey. I’ve switched over to the Mentalist now if that helps anyone feel less likely to lynch me.
on January 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm Schnookie

You apology is accepted, Mags. But don’t come back! :P (Just kidding. At this point, it’s perfectly safe to just blame Marty.)
on January 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm Mags

At this point, it’s perfectly safe to just blame Marty.

*sigh* Yup. Sad, innit.
on January 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm Schnookie

I suppose, as an avowed Henriqueist, I should be pleased to see how incapable of playing well the Devils are without him?
on January 14, 2012 at 4:28 pm Mags

Just so long as you don’t go sacrificing any of the sacrificial virgins before they, erm, have a chance to sacrifice themselves to him, yeah, we’re cool.
on January 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm Schnookie

Mags, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Of course, based on his groin injury, maybe he needs to just be leaving the sacrificial virgins alone for a while?
on January 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm Mags

That would probably be wise. But he’s a 21-nearly-22-year-old boy. And he’s an NHL player. Do you think he could, even if he wanted to?

Perhaps sacrificing the sacrificial virgins is not such a bad idea after all.
on January 14, 2012 at 4:36 pm EJGRgunner

You know, I know it’s not in keeping with our habit lovingly(?) mocking him, but Marty’s been playing well today.
on January 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm suenj97

Of course, based on his groin injury, maybe he needs to just be leaving the sacrificial virgins alone for a while?

I’m sure that as soon as Lou heard about the groin injury, he had Henrique locked up and ordered the sacrificial virgins sacrificed before they could get anywhere near our cult leader.
on January 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm Schnookie

I know it’s not in keeping with our habit lovingly(?) mocking him, but Marty’s been playing well today.

I didn’t love the Jets goal, but I have to agree that he hasn’t been nearly as bad as the last time we saw him play.
on January 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm Mags

You know, I know it’s not in keeping with our habit lovingly(?) mocking him, but Marty’s been playing well today.

Can’t say. The only thing I’ve seen him do today is get scored on, and that wasn’t stellar. But if you say he’s doing ok, I’ll believe you that he’s been doing ok :)
on January 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm Schnookie

Remember the other day when we were all getting “the Devils are going to be shut out tonight” vibes, but it didn’t pan out that way? Well, I’m getting those vibes again. I strongly suspect it will pan out.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm Schnookie

Chico should get a penalty for that errant live-action telestration line. :P
on January 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm suenj97

Chuckles, stop whining. I had Langenbrunner flashbacks, and that’s just not pleasant.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm Pookie

I had to rip out all the quilting I did in during the first 2 periods of this game. It’s like the suck is radiating from the TV and effecting my sewing. Not cool, Devils, not cool.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:15 pm Schnookie

Silly Clarkson — your best asset is SO not your shot. :P
on January 14, 2012 at 5:18 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was unexpected!
on January 14, 2012 at 5:18 pm Pookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Foster finally decided to not shoot at the opposing players!
on January 14, 2012 at 5:19 pm suenj97

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

And what does Foster have in his mouth instead of his top front teeth????
on January 14, 2012 at 5:21 pm Schnookie

And what does Foster have in his mouth instead of his top front teeth???

I… didn’t notice. And now I’m not sure I want to know. :P
on January 14, 2012 at 5:22 pm EJGRgunner

WOO!!
on January 14, 2012 at 5:24 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was AWESOME!
on January 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm suenj97

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Patty!!!!!
on January 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm Pookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That was beeeeeautiful!
on January 14, 2012 at 5:26 pm suenj97

“All the more big????”

Sigh. I miss Doc.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:26 pm Mags

Aaaaaah! YAY!

I had to rip out all the quilting I did in during the first 2 periods of this game.

Funfetti. I’ve ripped back my knitting too. 2 hours of work, gone, because I forgot to knit in the first buttonhole. Gah.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:27 pm EJGRgunner

I actually think that’s just a weird thing in his mouth guard.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:29 pm Schnookie

Sue, “All the more big” totally cracked me up. Why not just go with “embiggen”? I mean, it’s a perfectly cromulent word.

2 hours of work, gone, because I forgot to knit in the first buttonhole. Gah.

OOF! That’s when I would think to myself, “Huh. I suppose I could just use a safety pin here instead of a button…” Which is why I don’t do much knitting anymore.

Oh, and I think Larsson HBTN earned some of Henrique’s sacrificial virgins for that assist on Patty’s goal.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:29 pm Pookie

Buttonholes are overrated! Just kidding. That sucks! I’m so sorry. I hope it wasn’t Autumn Rose — that would be a bitch to rip out.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:29 pm suenj97

I hope so. It just looked kind of bizzare to see two shiny and kind of pinkish-orange things where his top front teeth should be.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:31 pm Mags

I’m so tempted to turn the TV back on and find out whether it IS his mouth guard, or something more interesting, but at the same time I’m more superstitious than a Pens fan :S
on January 14, 2012 at 5:32 pm suenj97

Embiggen works for me.

And, I agree, I hope Lou hasn’t sacrified all the sacrificial virgins to protect Henrique. Larsson, HBTN derserves a few.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:36 pm Schnookie

No sacrificial virgins for Patty!
on January 14, 2012 at 5:37 pm Mags

cromulent

Oh, I love that word. /randomtangent.

I hope it wasn’t Autumn Rose

No, it was the pink ruffly thing (I’ve made myself a deal that I have to finish that before I do more on Autumn Rose, or it’s never going to get done). But it still sucked.

Oh and WHAT THE HUH?
on January 14, 2012 at 5:38 pm Mags

Patty is fired.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:39 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! That was one of those “wait for it… wait for it… hey! Isn’t hockey fun?” kind of games.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:39 pm Mags

Nevermind. The guy on my TV said Patty was getting the Hainsey penalty and I got confused. Sowee.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:40 pm Schnookie

I can’t wait to see the pink ruffly sweater finished, Mags, so I applaud your commitment to it. :D
on January 14, 2012 at 5:40 pm Pookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That was exciting! And yeah, Marty was awesome. I chalk it up to the idiot fans chanting his name. Heh heh heh.

No, it was the pink ruffly thing

Oh, whew! I mean, it still sucks that you had to rip it out, but you know what I mean. By the way, that pink is one of my all time favorite colors; I’m really looking forward to seeing how that one turns out.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:40 pm suenj97

BTW, you guys would have appreciated my Dad’s side of the family. They owned wool shops and taught people how to knit.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:40 pm Mags

Yaaaay, they woooon :D
on January 14, 2012 at 5:41 pm EJGRgunner

Larsson, HBTN, as the Official Savior™ of the Devils, Larsson does not allow himself to be ensnared by sacrificial virgins that might pierce his heart with temptation and sin. For he is the lamm and is pure of själ and kropp.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:41 pm Pookie

That’s so cool, Sue!
on January 14, 2012 at 5:43 pm Schnookie

For he is the lamm and is pure of själ and kropp.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Well, of course that. :P But tossing a little temptation his way every now and again to keep him sharp is good for him.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:45 pm Mags

pink is one of my all time favorite colors

*fistbump* Pink is the best. I got my colours done (yes, people still do that, and yes, it was absolutely hysterical) as a Christmas present and I am mercifully still allowed to wear pink. Phew.

you guys would have appreciated my Dad’s side of the family. They owned wool shops and taught people how to knit.

Rock on :)
on January 14, 2012 at 5:46 pm Mags

For he is the lamm and is pure of själ and kropp.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on January 14, 2012 at 5:49 pm Mags

But tossing a little temptation his way every now and again to keep him sharp is good for him.

This is where I come out as a Pervy Larsson Fancier and admit that I’d be perfectly willing to tempt the heck out of that.

Just tempt, mind. I’m no hussy.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:53 pm Pookie

If Pervy Larsson Fanciers isn’t the name of your fantasy team next year, I’ll be very disappointed.
on January 14, 2012 at 5:55 pm Schnookie

Just tempt, mind. I’m no hussy.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Save the hussying for Henrique. :P

And Pervy Larsson Fanciers is a kick-ass fantasy hockey name! How could that team not win the championship?
on January 14, 2012 at 6:02 pm Mags

Save the hussying for Henrique. :P

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

How could that team not win the championship?

Because their Saviour/Overlord is too busy resisting temptation to play proper hockey, and the rest of the team has fallen all over the sacrificial virgins?

I wonder if it’d fit in the character limit though…
on January 14, 2012 at 6:04 pm Schnookie

Yeah, a surfeit of sacrificial virgins has really been the downfall of the Sporks this year.
on January 17, 2012 at 7:15 pm Schnookie

JJ the Jetplane is back! How fitting that it’s against the Jets…
on January 17, 2012 at 7:23 pm suenj97

Mills is also back up. Maybe he’s here to drive JJ.
on January 17, 2012 at 7:27 pm Schnookie

Mills is also back up. Maybe he’s here to drive JJ.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Aw, Millsie! I’d forgotten all about that guy! (Easy for me to forget — I have my own car. The rest of the Devils are SO glad to see him back.)
on January 17, 2012 at 7:41 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on January 17, 2012 at 7:41 pm Pookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! He took that to the net like he was Mills and the puck was the rest of the team!
on January 17, 2012 at 8:05 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on January 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm EJGRgunner

WOOO!!!! Petr Sykora will MAKE you love him!
on January 17, 2012 at 8:11 pm Schnookie

Sykora really does seem hell-bent on getting me to recant. He’s going to need a time machine to make it happen, though! :PPPP

And WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! again! Let’s play the Jets every night!
on January 17, 2012 at 8:12 pm EJGRgunner

WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CLARKDRAG!
on January 17, 2012 at 8:18 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, let’s play the Jets every night. :P
on January 17, 2012 at 9:08 pm suenj97

Do we want Marty back? I mean, I have no idea who they’d get to replace him, but I have no idea what he’d be like next year.
on January 17, 2012 at 9:12 pm Pookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I wonder what it would take for us to get to play the Jets every night. Like, if we all chipped in ten bucks each, would that be enough?
on January 17, 2012 at 9:22 pm suenj97

I’d like to see if NJ can just play the Jets again on Thursday instead of having the Bruins show up. The Bruins could play the Hurricanes, who manage to beat them regularly. I think that’s fair.
on January 17, 2012 at 9:26 pm Schnookie

The Bruins? Ew! Let’s let them have another crack at the ‘Canes, and they can just leave us alone.
on January 17, 2012 at 9:30 pm Mike in Idaho

Haha, did Chico really acknowledge the audience that watches games with the volume all the way down after the Jets goal? And I hope everyone appreciates my not picking Clarkson up on my fantasy roster so he can continue doing well.
on January 17, 2012 at 9:33 pm Schnookie

Mike, that’s so nice of you not picking Clarkson up! (I picked up Henrique a few weeks ago and it actually went well up until the injury. I wonder if he hadn’t noticed he was a Spork?)

did Chico really acknowledge the audience that watches games with the volume all the way down after the Jets goal?

HAHAHAHAHA! I wish I’d been paying attention so I could have heard it.
on January 17, 2012 at 9:46 pm suenj97

I wonder if he hadn’t noticed he was a Spork?

Maybe he pulled his groin when someone pointed it out to him.
on January 17, 2012 at 10:00 pm EJGRgunner

Maybe he pulled it because he got excited when thought someone said he was a Snork.
on January 17, 2012 at 10:13 pm Schnookie

Maybe he pulled his groin when someone pointed it out to him.

Maybe he pulled it because he got excited when thought someone said he was a Snork.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: If Henrique gets excited about being a Snork, I love him even more than I ever thought. :P
on January 17, 2012 at 10:32 pm EJGRgunner

Or maybe he pulled his groin when he got trampled by Tedenby, Hedberg, Tallinder, and Larsson doing their Swedish “Wälkommen tillbaka! BORK BORK BORK!” dance for Josefson.