No One Knows Better Than Devils Fans

April 21, 2012 by Schnookie

So Schnookie was driving to work the other day listening to John Zorn’s version of “The Ballad of Hank McCain”, and had an amazing realization:

Dude, that song is about Devils fans! Especially Devils fans who just watched Game 3 of this series. Seriously —

No one knows better than a Devils fan after Game 3 of this series that life’s a filthy dirty game, very very hard to win.

No one knows better than a Devils fan after Game 3 of this series how to to disregard the pain, never, never let it in.

No one knows better than a Devils fan after Game 3 of this series that a man who thinks he’s free knocks his head against a wall.

No one knows better than a Devils fan after Game 3 of this series just how bitter it would be to be beaten after all (by Clemmer).

No one knows better than a Devils fan after Game 3 of this series that they’d get him all the same, and they made him pay the price.

Of course, no one knows better than a Devils fan after any Devils game that when all is said and done, that’s the only way to live.

We meant to put up a post about this before Game 4 made it sort of irrelevant, but we’re lazy. The point remains, though, that losing playoff games to Scott Clemmensen is a sort of pain that only Devils fans know, and only Ennio Morricone can put into music appropriately.

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Posted in Conference Quarterfinals, Huh?, Playoffs | 74 Comments

74 Responses

on April 21, 2012 at 3:33 pm Miss M (@itsmissmags)

It’s funny, because it is so horribly, painfully true.

Clemmer. Seriously. CLEMMER! Ugh. Disgusting.
on April 21, 2012 at 4:01 pm Schnookie

For reals! I mean, Game 4 was awesome, and I should be hanging all my Devils thoughts on that, but… I just can’t! Argh! Clemmer! Heh. (At least he’s lost his starting job. After a spate of boastful soundbites and one shitty start. Heh. Stupid Clemmer.)
on April 21, 2012 at 4:06 pm Miss M (@itsmissmags)

I read that “I can beat anybody” thing on the Fire and Ice blog and wondered just how often he’d been dropped on his head as a kid. Very, very often, apparently.
on April 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm Schnookie

and wondered just how often he’d been dropped on his head as a kid.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Not often enough for us, apparently. Heh.
on April 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm EJGRgunner

I was at games 3 and 4, and I can tell you that I’ve never seen a more bloodthirsty Devils’ crowd than at game 3. I was amazed that there weren’t any news stories about the refs being savagely ripped to pieces by angry fans afterwards.

What I found interesting about game 4 is that there’s no good Clemmenson taunting chant. They just went with “Scot-ty” but it didn’t work.
on April 21, 2012 at 6:51 pm Pookie

I think chanting “Clemmm-mer, Clemmm-mer” in the style of the classic “Hextall” would suffice. That’s what I’d do, for sure. (I’m sorry you had to see Game 3 in person.)
on April 21, 2012 at 6:55 pm EJGRgunner

See, the thing is “Clemmer” is a friendly nickname. It almost seems too affectionate to chant derisively.
on April 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm Pookie

I’d make it clear with tone (and context) that I was not being affectionate. :D
on April 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm Schnookie

See, the thing is “Clemmer” is a friendly nickname. It almost seems too affectionate to chant derisively.

That’s a good point. It sounds like a name for a particularly dopey golden retriever. Maybe next time they should try “BACK-UP”?
on April 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm Schnookie

I’m glad to hear that the crowd was good and bloodthirsty during Game 3. I assume the place was jumping for Game 4, in a less bloodthirsty way? It sounded great on TV.
on April 21, 2012 at 7:32 pm Schnookie

Gel-O seems awfully dismissive of the hits stat now that we’re in Florida. I think he was taking it pretty seriously in Jersey, though…
on April 21, 2012 at 7:39 pm Schnookie

You know what I love about this series? It fits in the consistent pattern the Devils have had since ’03 of finding new ways to disappoint me in the playoffs. This year’s fancy trick? Having the best regular-season PK in the history of the NHL, then getting eaten alive by the Panthers’ power play. The Devils really are inventive at coming up short in the playoffs.
on April 21, 2012 at 8:13 pm EJGRgunner

Maybe it’s just the poor quality of my feed, but that call looked like horse shit.
on April 21, 2012 at 8:21 pm Schnookie

I’m sure you’re not that far off base, Gunner. I can’t say I saw it, but I’ll totally believe it was a load of crap.
on April 21, 2012 at 8:23 pm Nell

No, it definitely was…the refs are totally pulling for Florida this series. It’s getting very old.
on April 21, 2012 at 8:26 pm Schnookie

It probably would be less of a problem if the Devils were still capable of killing penalties, though. ::headdesk::
on April 21, 2012 at 8:28 pm Schnookie

I have to go on record and say that I am completely confused by that Pitbull beer commercial. Is the point that the guy’s magically replacing hot people with other hot people to make a “better” party? This is something that stops me in my tracks every time the commercial comes on, so I had to mention it.
on April 21, 2012 at 8:50 pm EJGRgunner

Is Sykora hurt or just benched?
on April 21, 2012 at 8:52 pm EJGRgunner

We’re toast
on April 21, 2012 at 9:00 pm Amy

Is the point that the guy’s magically replacing hot people with other hot people to make a “better” party?

Pretty much.

I know Marty made the save, but how can 5 Devils forget that there are 5 Panthers on the ice? Kulikov (sp?) was wide freaking open for far too long.
on April 21, 2012 at 9:08 pm Schnookie

This game is dreadful.
on April 21, 2012 at 9:19 pm Schnookie

Hey, at least it wasn’t Clemmensen!
on April 24, 2012 at 12:56 pm suenj97

Well, sorry I wasn’t around to commiserate, everyone. On Friday, my mother broke her femur and my laptop crashed. I still don’t have my computer back, so I won’t be around tonight, either. Mom is on her way to a rehab facility right now…she’s doing very well. Probably better than the Devils, or my computer.
on April 24, 2012 at 7:29 pm Schnookie

Oh my god, Sue, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother! I’m glad she’s doing well, and I hope she has a very speedy recovery.

(Also, I hope your computer is back in the pink soon, too.)
on April 24, 2012 at 7:30 pm Mike in Idaho

Hope your mom does indeed do better than the Devils Sue! I’m pretty sure the Devils will win today just to annoy us all by playing terribly in game 7. If the Devils lose to Clemmensen tonight, I am going to hug my autographed Pandolfo picture until one of us stops crying.
on April 24, 2012 at 7:30 pm Pookie

I’m so sorry about your mother, Sue! Here’s hoping for a recovery faster than the Devils can lose a Game 7!
on April 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm Schnookie

If the Devils lose to Clemmensen tonight, I am going to hug my autographed Pandolfo picture until one of us stops crying.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

We’re having a bit of a minor meltdown at stately IPB Manor about some sort of ridiculous family issues, and we just sat down saying, “I’m not going to think about it anymore tonight. I’m going to find something else to think about, something to distract me… oh for fuck’s sake, it’s Clemmensen in the elimination game? Let’s talk more about this dumb family thing.”
on April 24, 2012 at 7:41 pm Frisby

I’ve already repaired a wind chime with it, so all I’m saying is, I’ve got a soldering iron and I’m not afraid to use it.
on April 24, 2012 at 7:43 pm Schnookie

Frisby, :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: (I’m assuming you’re willing to share?)
on April 24, 2012 at 7:45 pm Pookie

If the Devils lose to Clemmensen tonight, I am going to hug my autographed Pandolfo picture until one of us stops crying.

I’ve already repaired a wind chime with it, so all I’m saying is, I’ve got a soldering iron and I’m not afraid to use it.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to both of you!

What I need tonight is a mute button that automatically shuts the announcers up the minute they start talking about Clemmensen.
on April 24, 2012 at 7:56 pm Frisby

WTF? You mean Pierre made the trip to Newark but Doc didn’t? Kenny fucking Albert? Seriously, NBC?
on April 24, 2012 at 8:10 pm Schnookie

Kenny Albert? The PHONK? This is the only game tonight, and the best NBC gives us is Kenny Albert??
on April 24, 2012 at 8:10 pm Schnookie

Wooooooooooooooooooooooo?
on April 24, 2012 at 8:11 pm Pookie

I’m going to believe that Doc saw it was Clemmer starting and said, “Ew, that guy? Sorry, I’m busy tonight.”
on April 24, 2012 at 8:12 pm Frisby

******************************************************!!!
on April 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm Frisby

That must be it, Pookie! I going to believe that too!
on April 24, 2012 at 8:15 pm Schnookie

Doc’s no dummy. He’s already called more than his fair share of Clemmensen games.
on April 24, 2012 at 8:21 pm Frisby

The worst part is that there is color guy.It…just…Pierre…and…Kenny…
on April 24, 2012 at 8:22 pm Schnookie

Oh god, Frisby, that’s… awful. No one should have to listen to that. NO ONE.
on April 24, 2012 at 8:22 pm Frisby

…there is *no* color guy…
on April 24, 2012 at 8:24 pm Frisby

Exactly, no one should, it’s obviously killing more brain cells than alcohol consumption.
on April 24, 2012 at 8:26 pm Schnookie

…there is *no* color guy…

I like that I didn’t notice the typo on your first comment there, so this seemed to me like you were just desperately and sadly driving the point home further. YOU GUYS, THERE IS NO COLOR GUY. Do you hear me? THERE IS NO COLOR GUY.
on April 24, 2012 at 8:41 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on April 24, 2012 at 8:45 pm Frisby

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
on April 24, 2012 at 8:48 pm Frisby

Why is it that seeing Zajac back on the bench I immediately think of that scene from Varsity Blues, “Don’t stick that needle in his leg!”
on April 24, 2012 at 8:49 pm Schnookie

Such a cynic, Frisby!

(And Booooooooooooooo. Hmph.)
on April 24, 2012 at 8:55 pm Pookie

Soldering iron, please!
on April 24, 2012 at 8:55 pm Frisby

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
on April 24, 2012 at 8:55 pm Pookie

Or rather, “Do stick that soldering iron in my eye!”
on April 24, 2012 at 8:55 pm Schnookie

Oh, well, that’s more what I was expecting tonight. Gotta love the Devils treating second periods in this series like they did third periods in the regular season.
on April 24, 2012 at 9:08 pm Frisby

Yeah, hopefully they got that usual third period crap out of their system in the second. But just in case, I’m plugging the soldering iron in now anyway.
on April 24, 2012 at 9:12 pm Schnookie

But just in case, I’m plugging the soldering iron in now anyway.

Yeah, let’s get that baby warmed up!
on April 24, 2012 at 9:26 pm Schnookie

Is the soldering iron hot yet? Because I can still see this game, and I need to remedy that pronto.
on April 24, 2012 at 9:28 pm Frisby

It’s white hot. *jab,jab,jab*

/hands off the soldering iron
on April 24, 2012 at 9:29 pm Schnookie

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Thanks, Frisby. That feels so much better.
on April 24, 2012 at 9:33 pm Pookie

I can still see it! Why can I still see it?!?
on April 24, 2012 at 9:34 pm Schnookie

Solder harder, Pookie!
on April 24, 2012 at 9:40 pm Frisby

I don’t love that little Poni anymore.
on April 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm Schnookie

Yeah, Pony’s fired. Going back to the 5-on-3, Zidlicky’s also fired. I knew we’d end up regretting that trade.
on April 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm Schnookie

We appreciate Chico telling us not to worry, because the Devils have a plan, but they’re just not getting the shots through. In other words, they have a plan, but it’s just not working. Or it’s a terrible plan. But don’t worry!
on April 24, 2012 at 9:53 pm Pookie

The plan is to wait and see what Florida wants to do about wnining the game.
on April 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm Frisby

OMG, I’m agreeing with Roenick. This does not boed well…
on April 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm Schnookie

Oooh, I have a great feeling about this, based on Marty’s OT track record!
on April 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm Schnookie

What did Roenick say???
on April 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm Frisby

JR said Devils not showing any effort on PP. They look like they are just hoping to win. If all they do is hope, they won’t win.
on April 24, 2012 at 10:23 pm Schnookie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Holy fuck!!!
on April 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm Schnookie

JR said Devils not showing any effort on PP. They look like they are just hoping to win. If all they do is hope, they won’t win.

I agreed with him, until the Devils won. Heh.
on April 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm Pookie

WHA-HUH?!?!?!?! WHY AM I STILL SEEING A GAME 7?! Just kidding. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
on April 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm Frisby

Heh.

Oh, and WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
on April 24, 2012 at 10:49 pm Schnookie

Well, soldering iron, we’ll just have to meet again at a later date. Thursday, it would seem. :P
on April 24, 2012 at 10:52 pm Frisby

I’ll keep it warmed up. But for now I’ll savor the fact that Travis didn’t listen to James Vanderbeek.
on April 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm EJGRgunner

Was at the game tonight. Nice to finally have some positive playoff experiences at the Rock. Also nice to be spared having to listen to Pierre or Chico talk about, well, anything.
on April 24, 2012 at 11:07 pm Schnookie

Good work, Gunner! I think it was your positive energy that put the Devils over the top! (Actually, I’ve been really impressed with the crowds in Newark in this series. They’ve sounded and looked great — not at all like the crowds back from our season ticketholder days… :D)

Also, I’m jealous you didn’t have to hear Chico. You’re living right.
on April 25, 2012 at 12:56 pm suenj97

Thanks for all the good wishes…Mom is at the rehab facility and having her first day of physical therapy. She’s hoping to be there only a few weeks, her goal is to be able to walk up 4 steps, then they will let her go home. My computer, however, is still in the computer hospital. Pookie, I’m accessing at a public library.

If I had had a soldering iron I might have used it on Marty after the second period last night…but, they live to torture us in game 7 once again!!!!

Travis gallops on skates after scoring OT playoff game-winners very, very well.