We’re trying really hard not to upset the delicate balance of whatever Hockey God mojo the Devils have managed to put together the last few games. Just… sitting around here, watching TV, maybe there’ll be a game on… We certainly don’t have any expectations or anything… ::Nervously gnaws fingernails::
So… Anyone Doing Anything Interesting Tonight?
May 8, 2012 by Schnookie
Posted in Conference Semifinals, Playoffs | 123 Comments
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::Nervously gnaws fingernails::
At this point I’m pretty sure you’re gnawing stumps.
::looks at bloody stumps::
Holy crap, gunner — you’re right!
Let’s go, Devils! ::claps bloody stumps together:: Ow, ow, ow! My stumps!
So apparently the Flyers rallying cry, re: Giroux, is “We owe him one.”
I certainly wished I could screw up at work, get suspended and have the rest of my office act like that meant they were in my debt.
Ow, ow, ow! My stumps!
This is why I recommend keeping a set of thundersticks in the home.
I certainly wished I could screw up at work, get suspended and have the rest of my office act like that meant they were in my debt.
Oh man, that would rock. Maybe I’ll go into work tomorrow and nail my least favorite co-worker in the head with my shoulder and see what happens.
As for the thundersticks, I gnawed those down to just the little straw you use to inflate them.
I certainly wished I could screw up at work, get suspended and have the rest of my office act like that meant they were in my debt.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Seriously. Actually, several of my higher-ups are Flyers fans — maybe I should epically fuck up some stuff for them at work and see how that goes…
This is why I recommend keeping a set of thundersticks in the home.
Bloody stumps are FAR superior to thundersticks! If just because they don’t obstruct the view of the person sitting behind you at the game…
As for the thundersticks, I gnawed those down to just the little straw you use to inflate them.
I think you’re using them wrong.
Bloody stumps are FAR superior to thundersticks! If just because they don’t obstruct the view of the person sitting behind you at the game…
On the other hand, thundersticks are unlikely to permanently stain your favorite jersey.
Also, as an aside, SWEET JEEBUS WHAT DID VOLCHENKOV JUST DO THAT MAN! I HURT WATCHING THAT.
Oh crap. This is the Murder Game.
My pet theory is that in every playoff series there is one game in which either team will be allowed to get away with murder by the refs. Last series I remember thinking it was game 6. Looks like it could be the same here.
A lot f times the hits don’t look like they’d hurt just ‘cuz the guys just pop back up and skate off. But, yeah, that one made me realize how a hit could make a guy think twice before skating near Volchenkov again.
On the other hand, thundersticks are unlikely to permanently stain your favorite jersey.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Man, you’re full of good ideas and pointers tonight! It’s like Hints From Heloise for nervous Devils fans.
I can definitely see the validity to the Murder Game theory. And yes, this is definitely it. Sigh.
Oh, and BOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
So I turn on the game in time to see Volchenkov get smushed and the Flyers score. Maybe I should turn it off now?
And :^:::::::::::::::::::::::: to the thundersticks and stumps talk.
BOOOOOO!!!!
Argh, Amy, you’re doing it again! :P
***************************!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can stay, Amy!
WOOOOOOOOO!O!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRYCE SALVADOR IS AN UNSTOPPABLE GOALSCORING MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, Salvador just scored. I’m absolved!
I finished the last of my exams for the semester so can now pay attention to hockey for the first time in forever.
And since the Devils are playing the Flyers: Yay, let’s go Devils! (But don’t worry, ladies, I’m not actually watching the game so as not to mess with whatever mojo your team has going on.)
Amy = bad luck.
Amy + Meg = good luck!
Meg, you can stay too! (And hey! Good to see you!! How’d the semester go?)
Let’s hope!
WOOOOOO!O!O!!!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!OP!O!O!!O!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***************************************************!!!!! When worlds collide — Flyers goaltending and David Clarkson.
*******************************!!!!!!!!!!!
(still not enough, Clarkson)
(And hey! Good to see you!! How’d the semester go?)
Good to see you fine folks as well! It went OK, I suppose. Right now I’m just glad it’s over!
Pookie kept remarking during the last game, after easily-stoppable shots were stopped by Bryzgalov, “If he was a home-grown Flyers goaltender, that would have gone in.” So I was in the kitchen when this one was scored, and she shouted to me, “It was just homegrown Flyers goaltending plus David Clarkson!”
I love how Pierre McGuire is the minitrue of the NHL.
“I said Rinaldo’s hit triggered the Flyers!”
“Bryzgalov’s always been no good with the puck! I was just about to say that!”
“We’ve always been at war with East Asia!”
(still not enough, Clarkson)
Damn. The former ruler of ClarksonNation is EXTREMELY demanding. :P
Right now I’m just glad it’s over!
I can see that… You’re reminding me why I should be grateful, every day, that I’m not in school anymore. :D
I love how Pierre McGuire is the minitrue of the NHL.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That is such a good way of explaining that which is Pierre McGuire.
I love how Pierre McGuire is the minitrue of the NHL.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s spot-on!
Okay, now I’m just going to start throwing up bloody stump everywhere.
…
The olympics?
Brodeur is playing well because of the olympics?
So basically the thought process is: “F those sons of bitches for not letting me be the goalie in the olympics! I’m to show them! I’ll start playing great again two years from now!
SERIOUSLY!?
I have no idea how I survived 2003, 2001, and 2000. I’m dying here, and it’s Game 5 of the second round. How did I survive ECFs and SCFs?? Am I just getting too old for this shit?
Okay, now I’m just going to start throwing up bloody stump everywhere.
Don’t do that. Do you know how hard it is to get bloody stump remnants out of the upholstery?
Wait, WHAT??? Gunner, are you serious? They’re saying Marty’s motivated by the Olympics??? (And if that’s true, how does that explain last year? Heh.)
Do you know how hard it is to get bloody stump remnants out of the upholstery?
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m about to find out.
How did I survive ECFs and SCFs?? Am I just getting too old for this shit?
Drink more? (Yeah, I don’t have any actual healthy suggestions for surviving stress)
Drink more?
That’s great thinking! (Wait, there are healthy ways to deal with stress? Why would anyone bother?)
How did I survive ECFs and SCFs?? Am I just getting too old for this shit?
I know how you feel, but as I said before, I self medicated back then (smoked something other than tobacco).
What I don’t get is I was on summer vacation from college in 2000 and unemployed in 2003 so I literally didn’t have anything to do but be nervous all day long. I do remember self-medicating with ice cream on game days in 2003. That was fun and delicious (and yes, very healthy).
I do remember self-medicating with ice cream on game days in 2003. That was fun and delicious (and yes, very healthy).
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Some people are cool and self-medicate with, ahem, “something other than tobacco”. We? Are not cool. :P
I think I need to be put into a medically-induced coma until this is over. How did the Flyers not score there?
after that sequence I could use some self medicating…
Maybe “ice cream” was my codeword for “something other than tobacco”, hm? Did you ever think of that?
Maybe “ice cream” was my codeword for “something other than tobacco”, hm? Did you ever think of that?
Please! I was there! I was also eating ice cream! And it was really ice cream!!
Yours was ice cream. I, meanwhile, slipped the Thomas Sweet employees a little something extra to blend-in “something other than tobacco”. (In that I had them blend-in peanut butter cups. Which, last time I checked, aren’t tobacco.)
In that I had them blend-in peanut butter cups. Which, last time I checked, aren’t tobacco.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s just nervous laughter, though.
I wish the Devils would have the better of the play in this game, like the last few. I’m not liking this more functional version of the Flyers.
nervousness…not one of the most popular tralala feelings…
nervousness…not one of the most popular tralala feelings…
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, I think I like nervousness even less than I like hate.
how have none of you fired Elias yet tonight?
I’m too nervous to fire him! I keep losing my pad of pink slips.
That. That was a dirty play, no? This really is the murder game.
Here I was saying moments ago that this had ceased to be the Murder Game and had become the Goalpost Game, but thanks to Simmonds, we’re back on track.
I’m too nervous to fire him! I keep losing my pad of pink slips.
Just grab a white slip with your bloody stumps. Voila! Instant pink slip.
Holy shit! Why is Rinaldo still in this league?!
Just grab a white slip with your bloody stumps. Voila! Instant pink slip.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Why is this Rinaldo kid even allowed in the NHL? What a fucking joke.
Voila! Instant pink slip.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Hints from Heloise strikes again!
and Pierre defends Simmonds because, you guessed it, he didn’t leave his feet.
Allow me to channel my father: Chickenshit! Bunch of gutless chickenshit thugs! They’re all thugs!
I guess this is the Flyers’ payback for Zubrus daring to happen to be Giroux’s victim.
and Pierre defends Simmonds because, you guessed it, he didn’t leave his feet.
Oh, well, we all know “leaving your feet” is the only measure of dirty in NHL hitting. Thanks, Pierre!
Chickenshit! Bunch of gutless chickenshit thugs! They’re all thugs!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Hear hear!
Zubrus comes back to the bench, and Pookie says happily: “Good thing the Devils just have a big cabinet of Zubruses to get another one out of!”
“Good thing the Devils just have a big cabinet of Zubruses to get another one out of!”
That’s what NJ’s been doing with the Kool-Aid experimentation…cloning!!!!
“Good thing the Devils just have a big cabinet of Zubruses to get another one out of!”
I always thought it was a closet of second-hand Zubruses that they picked over for spare parts.
I guess this is the Flyers’ payback for Zubrus daring to happen to be Giroux’s victim.
Well, you have to admit he had some gall to be the guy skating where Giroux wanted to be shouldering someone in the head.
That’s what NJ’s been doing with the Kool-Aid experimentation…cloning!!!!
I have never been happier than right now that Mike Danton refused to drink that Kool-Aid. Could you even imagine more Mike Dantons?
I always thought it was a closet of second-hand Zubruses that they picked over for spare parts.
Well, on the road that makes a lot more sense. Just bringing the parts. But I bet they have full spare Zubruses at The Rawk.
I always thought it was a closet of second-hand Zubruses that they picked over for spare parts.
For big games, the equipment guys try to have one or two fully assembled out of spare parts, just so they’re ready to go.
Did NBC just have the wrong replay there? THAT was a penalty on Hartnell? I… don’t understand this officiating.
Christ. There’s still (at least) 20 more minutes of this??? ::passes out::
I… don’t understand this officiating.
The tag line for the NHL…now and forever.
The tag line for the NHL…now and forever.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s funny because it’s true.
I think i found where Zubie was originally assembled: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kauno_Autobus%C5%B3_Gamykla
Wow! Look at that picture of Zubrus fresh off the assembly line in that Wikipedia entry!
It’s a Zubus!
Look, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last seven months, it’s that this Devils team is terrible at holding third-period leads. I am… not in a good place right now.
I’d have bought tickets to this: the Devils radio team was talking about how Steven Gionta became an uncle again because his brother Brian gave birth to his third child. I knew Brian had skills, but…
I knew Brian had skills, but…
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Wow, finding out now that he’s actually a woman makes that 48-goal season that much more impressive.
***************************************!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Excuse me, I have to go find a brown paper bag to breathe into…
***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOO!!!!! Chuckles!!!!!
Wow, finding out now that he’s actually a woman makes that 48-goal season that much more impressive.
Manon Rheaume would be spinning in her grave right now if, you know, she was dead.
Manon Rheaume would be spinning in her grave right now if, you know, she was dead.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Wow. Larry’s tie is impressively evocative of Big Bird.
QUIT SITTING BACK!!!
I’ve been trying to say that, Frisby, but the only sounds I can currently make are strangled whimpering noises.
I’ve been trying to say that, Frisby, but the only sounds I can currently make are strangled whimpering noises.
Good god! She’s choking on he bloody stumps! Quickly, Pookie! The Heimlich!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Saved by Hints From Heloise again!!!
Did you know that a thunderstix can be used to successfully prevent a person from choking?
I still can’t figure out what Clarkson yells there, can I get a lip reader?
Did you know that a thunderstix can be used to successfully prevent a person from choking?
I keep writing letters to the Department of Homeland Security urging them to include thundersticks in the Home Preparedness Kit on ready.gov, but all I get is “Cease this” and “desist that.”
but all I get is “Cease this” and “desist that.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Thunderstix needs a better lobby to help you out with the .gov thing.
WOOOOOO!!!! Glad it was Zubie to ice these fuckers.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
OH
MY
GOD
but all I get is “Cease this” and “desist that.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Damn
and exhale….
and….
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!
This is making me nuts.
WOOOOOOOO!!!!!
YOU GUYS. THIS IS… WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Blue will live with the Shark, the Panther will lie down with the Senator, the Blackhawk and the Predator and the Bruin together; and a little Swede will lead them.
-Holy Play Book, Isaijah 11:6
I don’t think i’m really comprehending this… Am I dreaming or did the Devils just advance to the ECF?!?! Someone pinch me! Fuck, no one here has fingers left! Quick, someone poke me with a stump!
Gunner, :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
oh, one more thing…
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
*internet hugs all around*
WOOOOOOOO!!!!! to everyone!!!!!
Yay! ECF!
The most important question moving forward:
Does this mean that Frisby’s yet-unchallenged dominance of the eponymous bowl is in danger?
Someone pinch me! Fuck, no one here has fingers left! Quick, someone poke me with a stump!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And Gunner, that verse was beautiful. I notice that the Devils only became massively dominant when Larsson (HBTN) got back in the lineup. Definitely not a coincidence.
And totally! One more WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! and hugs all around, indeed!!!!
Does this mean that Frisby’s yet-unchallenged dominance of the eponymous bowl is in danger?
Yes, yes it does. But I’m not gonna let you bring me down tonight.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, yes it does. But I’m not gonna let you bring me down tonight.
That is no reason to be feeling down tonight! I think I had all the remaining teams losing in the first round, but you know what? I’M TOO HAPPY TO CARE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay Devils!!! Really happy they killed the flyers. I’m still hoping the caps somehow oust the rangers, but I have to admit it would be kind of funny to have a rangers/devils conference final. I mean, funny-as-long-as-you-guys-win-it.
I really really want a devils/coyotes final. That would be fantastic.
Congratulations! Have fun with the next round.
It occured to me that we may need to make a small revision to Gunnar’s verse, just to make it clear that the “little Swede” is our little Swede and, well, not Prawn. Who knows what could happen with that verse in the hands of a Ranger fan. For they are false prophets who will take the holy book and use it to their own ends.
I leave to Japan on Saturday for 2 weeks I hope they are still playing when I get back!
I really really want a devils/coyotes final. That would be fantastic.
Me too but for selfish reasons! I would consider going down to Phoenix if that happens as it’s remotely in my neigborhood. I was so happy to see the playoff Flyers finally show up that I had been waiting for. All the key ingredients were there:
Being more interested in hitting than playing the game
Major goaltending snafu
Ugly crowd that was constantly turning against the players
I love the classics! So are we hoping to face the Caps or Rangers next?
So umm. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! These are not you’re daddy’s Devils. Seriously, I tell my boy that all the time.
I mean, funny-as-long-as-you-guys-win-it.
Nice save there, Grrreg. :D
For they are false prophets who will take the holy book and use it to their own ends.
What a frightening thought!
I leave to Japan on Saturday for 2 weeks I hope they are still playing when I get back!
::breathes into a paper bag:: Seriously — have fun in Japan!
I love the classics!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It really did have it all! Don’t forget the terrible moves management made in the summertime!
These are not you’re daddy’s Devils. Seriously, I tell my boy that all the time.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He’s going to grow up so spoiled seeing all this aggressive forechecking. He’ll never get jokes about Pando staying in his quadrant!