Fun Facts, Or Something You’re Not Going To Learn On Any Other Hockey Blog Today

For a variety of convoluted reasons, we were exploring the native wildlife situation in New Jersey last night during the Devils/Bruins game. And on the website for the NJ Department of Environmental Protection Division of Fish & Wildlife, we discovered this amazing fact:

A national survey asked, “Where would you go to view wildlife if you could travel anywhere in North America?” Fifty-five percent of the respondents chose Alaska. When asked why they would choose to go there, Alaska’s variety of animals was the most frequent reply.

If variety of animals is what wildlife watchers are looking for, New Jersey provides some serious competition for Alaska. Alaska hosts 425 bird species, 102 mammal species, 10 reptile and amphibian species and 150 species of fish. New Jersey hosts 325 bird species, 90 mammal species, 79 reptile and amphibian species and over 400 species of fish. When you consider Alaska is 75 times larger than New Jersey, we are the hands down winner over Alaska in wildlife diversity. In fact, on a square mile basis, no other state in the nation has greater wildlife diversity than New Jersey.

Admit it — you had no idea! We sure didn’t, and it seems like at least half those animals live in our backyard. But here’s something that even the NJ Department of Environmental Protection Division of Fish & Wildlife won’t tell you. You know all those amazing, varied, more-than-any-other-state-can-claim-to-have animals? You know how rad and awesome they are? Yeah, well, none of them can score on the power play either.

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It’s Getting To Be That Time Of Year

Today it was still light out when we were eating dinner. We took our non-flannel leisure pants out of storage. We planted our tomato and broccoli seeds. We broke up the last pile of snow in our yard. We noticed tall daffodil stems sprouting up all over the grounds of stately IPB Manor. And we enjoyed watching all manner of daytime hockey, even though the teams we wanted to win the games all lost.

This can only mean one thing, Gentle Reader:

The Devils are hard at work on a top-secret plan for their newest model of playoff choke.

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Devils @ Rangers, 1/12/10: Open Thread And Random Notes

As you’ve probably already noticed, Gentle Reader, we don’t have much enthusiasm for NHL participation in the Olympics. Also, we don’t have any regard for anything Brian Burke says. But we put all of that aside when we read the flattering things Burke had to say about the Devils with regards to naming Langer captain of the US Olympic team. We’re now willing to concede that he’s batshit crazy about every subject except the sheer awesomeness that is the Devils organization’s commitment to character. We love that Lou looks to draft and sign players who are the right fit for the team, rather than just the statistically best guys available. We love that the team develops complete players. And we love that the organization is getting that recognition at such a high level.

BUT. (There’s always a “but”, isn’t there?)

We can’t help but wonder if maybe that’s not the real story here. After all, it is Brian Burke. And if he’s batshit crazy about everything else, how likely is it that he’s not doing something crazy in naming Langer the USA captain? Highly unlikely. So what could be his motivation? Sure, naming Langer captain instead of the inexplicably-included Drury is a bit unexpected and off-the-board, but it’s not really batshit, per se. And Burke’s a guy who probably fancies himself a Machiavellian genius. No, there’s something more afoot here. Could it be that he gave Langer the “C” for another notable Devils-developed trait?

Could it be that he’s using Langer (and giving Zach and Rafalski “A”s, to boot) to coach-kill Ron Wilson during the Olympics?

Now that we’ve said it, it makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?

* * * * *

In other news, we’ve realized with absolutely no sadness at all that our plans for tonight will require that we be getting to the Devils/Rangers game on Versus on a few hours’ tivo delay. Rats. We’re so broken up to be missing it. Try to soldier on without us in an open thread for it and all the other games on tonight’s docket. Spoilers are welcome!

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Really Important Stuff

– What is UO with that commercial for whichever car it is that has that man-sized hamster driving the car? We keep waiting for the payoff, or at least the explanation, but no. It’s just a man-sized hamster gazing into the car showroom, and then driving around in the car. Why? What’s the point? Do they want us to think of their vehicles as hamster wheels? Because that doesn’t seem like a great thing to be associating an automaker’s product with. Good thing we have no idea which automaker is responsible for the commercial. (Way to be a doubly effective commercial, hamster. We don’t understand you, and we don’t remember what you’re for.)

– Meanwhile, and perhaps more importantly, the armed forces of ClarksonNation are practicing all their finest parade formations, because their emperor-god is supposed to return to the lineup tomorrow! WOO HOOOO!

The only bad news there is that just across the border, all those ceremonial displays of military might from ClarksonNation are making the citizens of the young ZharkovNation nervous. They are mounting their own displays in response.

This could get ugly.

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104 Career Shutouts: A Celebration In Cookies

Today we decided the very best way to honor Marty’s 104th shutout was to commemorate it in gingerbread form.

Yes, those cookies are every bit as breathtakingly awesome as the game last night was. But nothing’s too good when it comes to telling the world how great we think Marty is. Devils fans are just so lucky to have been able not only to get to see some of Marty’s career, but to have seen all of it. Really, how cool is it that when you look at a video retrospective of his career, the only sweater you see him in is the Devils? That’s our deep thought to add to the Marty discussion — we think he’s rad, and we love that he’s ours.

Meanwhile, in other gingerbread cookie news, we had a whole bunch of leftover dough after making the 104, so we cut a bunch of other holiday shapes. We aren’t really into the whole “cookie decoration” scene, so we went about adorning them with sanding sugar half-heartedly. A Christmas tree here, a glittery star there, an ax or two, and of course, some gingerbread men. After taking them out of the oven, we discovered something shocking about two of the gingerbread men:

They look exactly like CoreyPerry (CoreyPerry) and Getzi!

We swear, this was completely by accident, but seriously, isn’t it an incredible resemblance? There’s golden-haired CoreyPerry (CoreyPerry) on the left (sure, that’s supposedly a gingerbread woman, but CoreyPerry [CoreyPerry] seems like the kind of guy who enjoys wearing culottes, right?), and balding, cranky Getzi on the right.

It’s uncanny.

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Several Thoughts

1. We realize we should probably put some kind of post up that celebrates Marty’s 103rd shutout, but we feel like the best way to recognize the awesomeness that is Marty doing what Marty does best would be for us to keep doing what we do best: taking him for granted. Yeah, yeah, Marty’s amazing, whatever. Heh.

2. The other evening, when we were at the arena, we were randomly reminded of Zubrus (we know! Who is ever reminded of Zubrus?). And as we discussed him, we decided that he should be rebranded with a new nickname that will cleverly take advantage of his number. How about “Adequ8″? Or “Moder8ly good”?

3. If Ilkka Pikkarainen ever scores a goal, we’re going to laugh really, really hard.

4. Remember Paulie Martin? Yeah, us too. *Sniff*

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Wherein IPB Is Relieved To Discover It Can Retain Its US Citizenship

We had grand plans for an hilarious post tonight in which we would take a practice citizenship test in honor of Marty becoming a US citizen today. Pookie helps a lot of patrons at the library with their practice materials for the test, and she reported that she would never pass it if she had to take it. Then we read on Fire & Ice that not many of the American Devils were able to answer many of the practice questions, so we became positive that a look at the hapless failures of Americans to understand basic civics and history would make for a riotous post.

Then we took a sample test, with 100 questions (the real test is only 10).

And we kicked that test’s ass.

It wasn’t funny at all. But on the bright side, we feel confident that we are at least as smart as Andy Greene.

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