A Game Diary To Remember, NJ @ PIT 3/8/07

This is a good day at stately IPB Manor: Paulie Martin re-signed (for three years) and we finally have a Game To Remember in which Sean Avery does not appear! Can it get better than this? Anyway, we actually don’t remember this game at all, so let’s sit back, relax, and enjoy a journey into FSN’s vaults.

FIRST PERIOD

Hm. Our intro includes Doc informing us the Devils were coming into this one on a three-game losing streak. We guess we have now entered that “sucktastic” stretch, which ran from March until… well, technically we guess we’re still in it.

19:31 As Doc sorts us through the lineup, he informs us Gio is out, and Whitey injured himself mysteriously during warmup. Oh, it’s that game? (Seriously, he seemed to do that every single night.) Thanks to Lou’s excellent salary cap comprehension, the Devils have only 16 skaters tonight.

17:22 PaulieMartinNation rejoices as he makes a fairly routine play at the boards. What can we say? We’re just happy about his signing.

16:55 Ah, the Pittsburgh fans were still in the throes of their “we’re so delusional about how good this team might be that we actually think we’re Cup contenders, yes, even with this defense and goaltending” phase. There is the slightest of “confrontations” between Rupp and Laraque after Fleury freezes a puck, and the entire arena leaps to its feet in full roar. Seriously, people. Calm down. We’re from the future, and trust us — Sid alone is not enough to overcome the D and the goaltending.

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A Game Diary To Remember, NJ @ NYR 2/22/07

This little stretch of the “15 To Remember” has been a marathon, not a sprint, but the end is in sight: here it is, Gentle Reader — the last of our Rangers games. Unlike last week’s match, we really don’t remember a single thing about this one, so let’s allow FSN to refresh our memories!

FIRST PERIOD

The intro has highlights from last week’s high-water mark of the season, and Doc is understandably psyched for the second leg of what was shaping up to be a feisty back-to-back. Hm. Chico tells us during the “goalie matchup” graphic that “Marty can afford to lose this one”. Way to soften Devils fans up for possible failure, Chico!

18:57 Doc crows about how this is Gomer’s 20th game at Madison Square Garden, and tells us he’s had 20 points in those previous 19 games. Dear Rangers fans, We don’t think he’s going to continue to average a point a game at MSG, but have fun with that anyway. Love, IPB. Oh, and Dear Scott Gomez, You’re a slag-faced whore. Love, IPB.

18:22 The Devils did not show up to play, did they? The Rangers swarm and get a few great chances (including hitting the post), then Hossa sneaks behind everyone on a bad change to beat Marty on a clean break. Gomer decides in that moment that he wants to hear that stupid goal song for all the future points he scores at MSG.

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A Game Diary To Remember, NJD vs. NYR 2/20/07

We remember this one as the high-water mark of the Devils season. In fact, it stands out as the only game we think we remember with any kind of clarity. So let’s see, shall we Gentle Reader, whether the mists of time have muddled the truth and this game is, in fact, every bit as crappy as all the others FSN has given us this summer.

FIRST PERIOD

This one must be one of those streamlined Rangers games we love so well, or the producers must have cut out tons of play action, because we were given the intro discussing how the Rangers and Devils fared in their previous games. Turns out the Devils won their previous game on the Island 1-0; it was Marty’s 91st career shutout, and 89th against the Islanders.

19:34 Our very own itty-bitty prince Zach Parise and his fellow Poppers come out flying, and poor little Zach takes a shoulder in the jaw from Girardi for his crashing the net. Careful with that, Girardi! He’s allegedly the future of our franchise!

18:45 We have had our first Barry Tallackson sighting! He’s skating with Brylin and Gomez (um, why? We guess Gio and Patty are hurt, but Doc is keeping mum on the subject) and he’s wearing Clarkson’s numer. We feel like Barry’s been in the Devils minor-leagues for the last 15 years.

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A Game Diary To Remember, NJ vs. NYR 2/6/07

We peeked ahead at the schedule for this summer’s tour of Devils games we’d rather, for the most part, forget, and Gentle Reader, there are four Rangers games included in this retrospective. Because 16 regular-season and four playoff games against them over the last two years isn’t bad enough. So here we go, with the second of four, and first of three in a row: Devils vs. Rangers. Whee.

FIRST PERIOD

Aw man! The intro for this involves highlights of the Devils-Sabres game with the phantom Crunchy “save” on Patty, and the ensuing retributive Madden goal and third-period comeback win that pulled Jersey to within four points of the conference lead… FSN, that was a game to remember. Why, Hockey Gods, why????

As if to throw us a tiny sop, we get a nice slurpy closeup of Pando at the outset. Jagr must be on the ice. Heh.

19:31 Jagsie starts the game off by being typically distracted by Pando to the point of being a detriment to his team; circling behind his net and facing only the mildest forechecking pressure, he dumps the puck blindly to Madden instead of a teammate. Maddog finds Pando all alone in front, but Pando’s just not really that good offensively.

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A Game Diary To Remember, NJ @ PHI 2/1/07

This is getting ridiculous. Did they specifically get people who hate the Devils to pick our 15 To Remember? Because yes, FSN, we remember this game. NOT FONDLY.

FIRST PERIOD

19:59 We get almost no intro because this was a long one. We just jump right into the play-by-play, as Doc is complaining about some stupid-assed thing Stan said in the pregame. Ahh, how badly we miss hockey — there’s just a shortage of stupid Stan stuff in our lives right now.

19:27 Gomez and Gio combine on a nice passing play on the rush, and Gio somehow stupidly pushes a ginormous Nittymaki rebound wide of a gaping net. Was there ever a point this season where Gio was burying those chances?

18:31 Wow — this is one of the six games over the past two years that Forsberg played for the Flyers.

17:38 Marty doesn’t stand a chance when Lukowich is on the ice. A shot from the point gets tipped in, allegedly by Ben Eager, but we all know it was Choco who made it go in. Pookie points out that every goal call against the Devils from mid-December through mid-March last year went something like, “Let’s go back and look at that again — I think it might have gone off Brad’s [name a body part].”

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A Game Diary To Remember, NJ @ NYI 1/13/07

We remember tonight’s game all too well — and frankly, it should be played on the Islanders’ “15 To Remember” series, if you ask us (and if you overlook the OT). Anyway, the intro involves Steve Cangialosi telling us how both teams have recently demonstrated come-from-behindability. Yeah. Great.

Steve is also giving us the play-by-play; having to endure that is just one more reason we hate the VS and NBC national feeds that use Doc. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Steve sucks. He also tells us that this game was played on the day Marty and Raffie were named All-Star reserves. The Raffie thing still puzzles us.

FIRST PERIOD

19:16 Gomez? There was a guy named Gomez on the Devils? Steve tries to tell us the EGG line has been playing well lately, but frankly, we don’t remember (or believe) that ever happened.

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A Game Diary To Remember, NJ @ NYR 12/17/06

How cruel (and yet hilarious) to give us a Rangers game on this UFA week. We’d be grossed out, but after consulting our “15 To Remember” schedule, we’re endlessly delighted to see that the Devils won this one 6-1. Heh. (Of course, one can only wonder how much Gomez has to do with that. The slag-faced whore.)

FIRST PERIOD

19:47 Doc is talking, a bit more graphically than we’d like, about how Aaron Ward has been puking his guts out with the flu.

19:11 Ah, the famous “It’s a pastry shop — full of turnovers” comment from Chico. He doesn’t claim credit for it, though, and says it’s an old player expression. Perhaps in Chico’s crazy world that’s something players say a lot; we’re a lot more inclined to believe players say things like, “The turnovers were giving 110%” and “Those pucks were just trying to be the best turned-over pucks they could possibly be.”

18:20 Some Ranger named Adam Hall gets a nice chance on a strangely-developing 2-on-1, and Marty makes one of those “fuck you, Ranger fans!” flashy glove saves. Heh. He’s probably practicing his “fuck you” body language for next season’s Ranger games already.

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