Wherein We Are SO Cool

Say, have you ever seen the “Darmok” episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation? [SPOILERS!] It’s the one where the Enterprise meets an alien race that has stymied the Federation for decades and decades because they are so unintelligible. And then the alien ship kidnaps Captain Picard and beams him down to the nearest planet along with their own captain, who keeps proclaiming shit like, “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra!” and “Shaka, when the walls fell!” and “Temba, his arms wide!” And after a few days’ ordeal trying to communicate with the alien captain, while fighting a monster that lives on the planet, Picard realizes that this seemingly gibberish-babbling race of aliens is actually communicating with metaphors from their culture. The crew of the Enterprise uses “Juliet on the balcony” as an example of human culture spoken that way to mean something romantic.

Anyway. So there we are early this evening, watering the garden, and Pookie suddenly realizes that our sunflowers, which were tiny seedlings just a few days ago, are now towering beasts. They are like mighty oaks. And to express their awesome stature and strength? She stands, arms akimbo, and bellows, “Stevens, in the neutral zone!” Ahhh, when dork worlds collide.

Read Full Post »

There Is Still Beauty In The World

We interrupt our constant stream of hockey blogging content with this important update: the residents of stately IPB Manor all took a day off today to head into New York City to see “Infinite Variety”, the stunning red-and-white quilt exhibit at the Park Avenue Armory.

The Devils might be missing the playoffs this year, but you know what? The world is still a beautiful place. Maybe next year the Armory can have an exhibit of red, white and black quilts instead.

Read Full Post »

Devils/Canes — Funfetti Redefined

Today we spent our afternoon at our friend Sarah’s house, having a craft day. And by “craft day” we mean we all got some stitching out, parked in the den with a cozy fire, and cleaned out her Tivo while her husband took the kids to a movie. One of the brilliant shows she’s got a season pass for is a TLC doozy called “Four Weddings”; the premise of the show is that four brides (who don’t know each other) pit their weddings against each other’s for a prize of a dream honeymoon. The brides all discuss briefly what their dream wedding is going to be, then they all attend each other’s ceremonies and rate them on a variety of elements (dress, venue, etc). The wedding with the most points wins. It’s as bad and as irresistible as it sounds. We were struck completely speechless by the sheer awesomeness of the show (it strikes an incredible balance between being not at all as shameless or craven as you might think while also being mockable from top to bottom), so imagine how much more speechless we were struck when one bride, in her intro, whipped out this cake:

Yes, Gentle Reader, that’s exactly what you think. The bride, who had the emotional and culinary maturity of a six-year-old, proudly declared “Funfetti is the best cake of all.”

That’s right — the best cake of all. Not “Funfetti’s going to make my wedding look like ass.” Not just a disgusted sigh of “Funfetti.” She said it’s the best cake of all.

And then she said that her dream wedding cake, the actual, real-life cake that was going to be served at her actual, real-life wedding that she was holding up as a standard of wedding greatness worthy of a free honeymoon, was going to be Funfetti.

And then time slowed down and her voice became deep and distorted and portentious as she intoned:

“With a Funfetti cake, we can’t lose.”

And she was right.

What does this mean for the Devils??? A Funfetti wedding cake won a free honeymoon to Punta Cana, and we saw it today on the television. This actually happened. Is it time to reconsider Funfetti? Is the Devils’ Funfetti cake no longer looking like ass? Is it a cake that’s going to the playoffs this year?

How can we not believe?

Read Full Post »

Random Thoughts On A Quiet Saturday Night

– For a variety of uninteresting reasons, Pookie arrived at work this morning with about 20 minutes to spare and a hankering to find videos about Beaks on YouTube. She found this:

When she sent the link to Schnookie this exchange ensued:

Pookie: I found a HILARIOUS video of Beaks and CoreyPerry CoreyPerry. Fighting in Juniors. At the end of a playoff game.
Schnookie: Oh my god.
Pookie: I was laughing out loud in my car. It was Muppet Baby Douchebags.
Schnookie: I’m honestly not sure who I’d think wins that. Of course, we’re ALL winners here.
Pookie: It was like what I imagine baby peacocks would be like if they were chimpanzees learning life skills by copying their parents.
Schnookie: (After watching the video) Oh my god. That’s a beauty. I love Beaks tossing his head. Like, I’m sure he thought, a wild stallion. He looked like Beaks of Chincoteague there. A little wild pony.

– For a variety of uninteresting reasons we ended up discussing Principal Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers during dinner tonight, which, of course, spiraled into an exchange of Simpsons quotes. When Schnookie pulled out the “how will anyone know it’s a Honda without the H?” scene, Pookie suddenly declared that Looch had eaten the H off all the Hondas he’s ever seen. Schnookie agreed, because Looch just loves to eat the letter H. Pookie then remarked, “That’s why that Bruins/Habs game was such a melee. Looch just sees all those little H’s on the sweaters…”

– Boomer made us all laugh really hard after dinner when she tried to read aloud the blurb about Nora Roberts’s upcoming release, Catching Fire, a romance novel about smokejumpers. Boomer launched into the first sentence of the blurb, “There’s little as thrilling as firefighting…” but said instead, “There’s little as thrilling as firefarting.” We still haven’t stopped shrieking with laughter. Being a grownup is grand.

– We got a crazy new fisheye lens for our camera today. VE Mats loves it.

So does Rollie.

Read Full Post »

Great Idea? Or Greatest Idea?

OK, OK, are you sitting down? How’s this — imagine you’re watching a game that’s gone to a shootout. The shootout is tied after three attempts. Do you want to see a fourth lame attempt at yet another forward shooting at the goalie? Or do you want to see… wait for it… a goalie race?! WE KNOW! Brendan Shanahan, ball’s in your court.

Read Full Post »

We Always Have Our Best Ideas When We’re Watching Hockey And Drinking

So, here we are on a Saturday night, watching random hockey (Canes/Pens? Really? Her?), chugging two bottles of wine, and we’ve had a brilliant idea. The idea came out of a long and seriously analytical discussion of those beer commercials where the bitchy hot-chick bartenders put down dorky guys who don’t drink the appropriate shitty beer. We hate those commercials. Violently. So Pookie, who mans the zapper, suggested that she would like nothing more than a DVR/tivo option where you can hit the “thumbs down” button on a commercial that you just can’t stand, and it’ll replace it with one of those hilarious Old Spice ads. Schnookie thought perhaps that was stacking the deck unfairly in Old Spice’s favor, so a more realistic idea could be that you would also be able to hit the “thumbs up” button on commercials you like. Then, when a “thumbs down” ad comes on, your DVR/tivo box would know to replace it with a “thumbs up” spot that’s in current rotation. Why can’t this happen? Get on it, TV industry. *Hic*

Read Full Post »

A Silver Lining

Shortly before the season began, we had a short discussion about the unexpected hierarchy of deliciousness of Chuckles by color:

Boomer, in the kitchen, “The green has to go first!”

Pookie, in the living room, looking dully at the remaining Chuckles in front of her, “Information that would have been useful a Chuckle ago.”

Anyway, our point is, Gentle Reader, last night? Was the green Chuckle. But remember, there’s only one green Chuckle per pack. We’ve gotten the green out of the way! Sometime in the next 15 years, we have the red and black Chuckles to go!

Read Full Post »