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Archive for the ‘Pommerdoodling!’ Category

Happy Birthday Boomer!

Has it already been another year? How can it be that it’s Boomer’s birthday already? It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long, but here we are enjoying a weekend-long bacchanal of cupcakes and televised hockey, so who are we to complain? And really, there isn’t a person we can think of more deserving of a dozen assorted fancy cupcakes and a restful few days of stitching in front of the TV. Happy, happy birthday, Boomer!

Happy Birthday Boomer!

Oh, and it should be noted that last year, Marty injured his arm on Boomer’s birthday. We appreciate the NHL not scheduling a Devils game on November 1 this year, just to insure that wouldn’t happen again.

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You may recall, Gentle Reader, that at this time last year, IPB was (In Dallas). Well, now that the leaves are changing, it’s time for some reciprocity of hospitality, and Patty (In Dallas) is going to be, very shortly, Patty (In New Jersey) for a week of fun and games. As a result, we’re very busy readying stately IPB Manor — and its surrounds — for her visit. We don’t have time to write about the Devils today, because these are all the things we need to have done before Patty’s plane touches down (In Philly) on Friday:

– Install a flat-screen TV in the front hall of stately IPB Manor that plays Jason Arnott’s OT goal from G6 of the 2000 SCF on an endless loop.

– Hang a dreamboat poster of Zach Parise in the guest room, and cue up the subliminal Lou Lamoriello indoctrination tapes to play in the dark of night while Patty is (In Dreamland).

– Knit little Langenbrunner sweaters for all the cats.

– Hand-paint the foliage in the front yard of stately IPB Manor, in anticipation of trying to convince Patty that it looks like this year-round.

– Schedule showings of all the houses for sale in stately IPB Neighborhood. Just in case Patty is convinced to move here.

– Get the answers to the corn maze, practice giving subliminal clues, and perfect sounding spontaneously admiring while saying, “You’re so good at corn mazes, Patty! Maybe you should move here!”

– Dispose of the man-sized dustbunnies that roam the halls of stately IPB Manor.

– Build a “Big Jerz” to compete with Big Tex and make Patty feel (At Home).

Chicken-fry some bacon.

– Build a Butter Alexander Hamilton, to compete with the butter sculptures at the State Fair of Texas.

– Install scenic view decals to the windows of all NJ Transit trains on the Northeast Corridor so that the view on the trips to Newark and NYC don’t include any of the, er, “local color” north of New Brunswick.

– Practice sounding erudite, so when we walk around the Princeton campus pointing out the Picasso sculpture and Toni Morrison’s office, we don’t sound like we view Princeton simply as a source for awesome ice cream.

– Set our not-(In The Office) messages.

– Stock up on citrus for the sugar-rimmed cocktails that will be used to make Patty drunkenly commit to moving here and becoming a Devils fan.

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1-2-3 Hockey: 25 of 39

September 16 2009

Patty Party ’09 is right around the corner, so it is with much relief that our tickets arrived in the mail today. Heaven forbid we go to see the Devils and not also see the Hurricanes, right?

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1-2-3 Hockey: 13 of 39

September 4 2009

This year for my birthday I opted for an ice cream cake from Jann’s. These thinsg are soooooo delicious. Which is good because we’ve got enough to last all long weekend! — Pookie

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Despite the Devils success so far, this has been a hard season for us to write about. We felt they were some kind of parallel-universe Devils for four months. We were upset about the Pando situation. We were upset about Holik situation. We couldn’t connect with the team. And more importantly, it’s been a year where real life has reminded us more than ever that hockey is just a distraction.

But last night’s record-breaking extravaganza at The Rawk transcended all of that. Sure, we’ve already made our peace with a lot of the personnel decisions we haven’t liked this year, and we’ve finally found our way with the team, and, well, Marty’s been back. But last night’s game, and all the atmosphere and celebration around it, reminded us why sports do matter.

Devils fans are probably the last fanbase to ever project much of anything about their favorite team into some kind of statement about their lives; we’re probably the last fans to ever measure our self-worth in terms of our team’s failures or successes… We just are. We’re cool and confident in our fandom. We’re sarcastic and bitter, sure, but we’re also used to being slighted, used to being disrespected, but tough enough that we’re not about to cry about it everywhere. There might not be tons of us, but there are enough. And Marty’s career was shared with us. Marty’s wins were for us. Marty wanted to be in New Jersey in part because of us. A sports record – particularly an individual one — is ridiculous, it’s artificial, it’s meaningless. But it’s also ours. It’s New Jersey’s, along with Marty’s.

Last night was a night we – and all our fellow Devils fans – were just well and truly happy. And there’s a lot of value in that.

It was such an awesome night of hockey that it prompted us to write some poetry. (And we, um, might have gotten distracted along the way by one of Marty’s legacies in the game — the stupid fucking trapezoid. Couldn’t the league just take the trapezoid out now, to apologize to Marty in celebration of his accomplishments?)

Devils wear red, and donuts are rarely blue,
Marty — you’re the best and we love you.
Patty, too.

***

Marty, Marty, burning bright, like a Sprite, in the night.

***

D is for donut, round and sweet.
O is for oustanding goalie.
N is for not appreciated.
U is for we love you.
T is for FUCKING TRAPEZOID!

***

I think that I shall never see a thing as lovely as a Marty save.

***

I shot a trapezoid into the air.
Where it landed was behind the net, where it ruined the game.

***

The trapezoid is the thing with slimy dragon scales that perches in my soul.

***

[Note: It being Wednesday, we'll be on tivo delay tonight. Let's hope this game isn't a giant letdown!]

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Gentle Reader, we are watching hockey right now. Sure, it’s the Rangers and Senators, and it’s preseason, but… IT’S HOCKEY!

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It almost snuck past us today, what with having spent the last two weeks in a bacchanal of celebration, but today’s the real deal, Gentle Reader — Pookie’s birthday!

And it’s a fancy-schmancy milestone birthday, too — she’s finally 18 (give or take 12 years)! So kick up your heels, have a cocktail or two, and join me in wishing my awesome sister a happy, happy day!

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