This is the second installment of Project Bicycle Spoke, our summer series in which we will be drawing hockey cards at random from a box and writing whatever comes to mind about it.
Tonight Boomer had the honor of drawing the card for PBS. We waited with bated breath as she reached into the box, and after a long delay she exclaimed, “It’s Ribs!” Long pause. “He’s a Hot Prospect”.
Schnookie sputtered, “A ‘Hot… Prospect’?!” The stunned silence that followed was eloquently supported by the back of the card, which you’ll see lists NHL statistics for seven seasons.
This surely takes a player out of the running for the honor of being dubbed a “Hot Prospect”.
There must have been some kind of mix-up. Boomer meant to pull a card from the Project Bicycle Spoke box but slipped and instead drew one from the Ancient Treasure Chest of Seven Seasons Yore. Moreover, it appears the Ancient Treasure Chest is from the Kingdom of Extreme Oppositeness. Notice, Gentle Reader, what the rest of the card says: “Mike Ribeiro made his share of fans in Montreal”. Who knew Project Bicycle Spoke would generate such laughs? Either Ribs’s share of fans was supposed to be nil, or there’s a market for cards that say the opposite of what they should.
“Always humble, Patrick Roy put up moderately good numbers.”
“Bet on Peter Forsberg to be healthy as a horse when the big games roll around. You can count on him!”
“The model of gentlemanly conduct, Chris Pronger stands as a role model for young athletes the world over.”
“Scott Gomez oozes integrity, on and off the ice.”
“Nicknamed ‘Captain Clutch’ Daniel Alfredsson will lead his team to victory year after year!”