This is the 38th in our summer series in which we are drawing hockey cards at random from a box and then writing about them.
We’re not going to lie to you — we were really hoping to get through the summer without see any Rangers (Jagr doesn’t count), and yet here’s Michal Rozsival leaping out of the PBS box to ruin our blissful Blueshirt-free existence. In honor of this clank!-ful event, here’s a list of 10 more things we don’t want to see between now and the start of the hockey season.
1. We’d rather not see the Olympics turn out to be completely devoid of jaw-dropping displays of athletic acheivment, tear-jerking stories of authentic heart-warming triumph over adversity, and extraordinary examples of underdoggery and greatness. OK, fine, all we really care about is that the swimmers are hot. We don’t want to see un-hot swimmers.
2. We don’t want to see Bobby Holik. There will be plenty of that once the season starts.
3. If a toolish contestant wins American Gladiators we’re going to be irrationally upset thanks to the lack of acceptable “real” sports during the summer months.
4. A summer devoid of incessant news coverage of Mats Sundin: Free Agent At Large would be nice. Oh, crap.
5. We would like to get through this summer without buying a single grocery store tomato. Prognosis: unknown. Thanks, hailstorm. Sheesh!
6. We would like to get through this summer without seeing a single movie in the movie theater. Prognosis: excellent.
7. We would like to get through this summer without seeing a single television series created after 1986. Prognosis: even better!
8. It would be delightful if we could go until the hockey season starts without losing a limb in a lawnmower-related mishap. Not as nice as going a summer without seeing anything Rangers-related, but still nice.
9. If our liquor cabinet never runs dry this summer, we’ll be very happy campers.
10. A full four months of not having to answer to 7:00 start times would be heavenly.