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Archive for September, 2009

1-2-3 Hockey: 39 of 39

September 30 2009

After months of talking about it, we finally tried our hands at homemade Devils logo bokeh, to celebrate the start of the hockey season tomorrow.

Instead of a crankypantsy season preview for you, Gentle Reader, we are presenting an exclusive peek behind the scenes of this year’s Devils. That’s right, it’s 38 Things You Don’t Know About The 2009-2010 Devils!

1. Zach Parise doesn’t actually know how to play cribbage. He just moves his peg on the board as many space as Travis did on his turn, and then adds five more.

2. Jacques Lemaire is waiting until he’s on his deathbed to admit that he did, in fact, intend to kill hockey. It will not, however, come as a surprise when he makes the confession.

3. Brian Rolston thinks he’s better than you at everything.

4. Brendan Shanahan is on the Devils roster again this year. [ETA: Or, um, not.]

5. Bryce Salvador is in the process of legally changing his name to The Iron Boar.

6. Rob Niedermayer isn’t sure who is scamming whom in this Rob Niedermayer/Lou Lamoriello relationship.

7. Rob Neidermayer isn’t sure who is who in the Rob Nediermaeyr/Lou Lamoriello relationship. In fact, he thinks in that relationship he might be Tycho Brahe.

8. Yann Danis is smizing.

9. Scott Stevens does not know what smizing is.

10. Egg Pelly has dead eye.

11. Larry Robinson cursed this franchise.

12. Last year we correctly predicted Brian Rolston’s goal total, but incorrectly predicted that Vincent Lecavalier would be captain of the Devils. We will not make that same mistake twice. This year’s new future captain of the New Jersey Devils is Duncan Keith.

13. Bobby Holik is planning on making a midseason return to the NHL this year. At the rate he’s going, Lou seems likely to sign him.

14. Patrik Elias’s groin will remain wonky until the Devils trainers allow Patty to get back on his foecal oyster diet.

15. Jamie Langerbrunner spent his summer having the crotch taken in on his crankypants.

16. Johnny Oduya’s off-season home is an exact replica of Dr. No’s volcanic lair.

17. If all goes according to plan, Nicklas Bergfors will complete his correspondence-school certification as a court reporter by the end of February.

18. Colin White thinks the “C” on Jamie Langenbrunner’s sweater stands for “choker”. When he told him as much, Langer tried to start a fight over it, but ultimately decided it wasn’t worth battling the truth.

19. Jacques Lemaire already has his costume picked out for the team’s mandatory Halloween Bag Skate Party. Ahoy, Captain Bligh!

20. Travis Zajac thinks he has a great idea for his costume for the team’s mandatory Halloween Bag Skate Party, but he’s not quite sure how dress as a sexy first-round playoff loss.

21. Zach Parise’s invite to the team’s mandatory Halloween Bag Skate Party will go missing thanks to a turtle butler being nervous about being mistaken for a bobbing apple again.

23. Scott Stevens wants you to think he’s taking notes while watching games. He isn’t.

24. The Devils were the NHL’s first choice to appear in this year’s Winter Classic. Making it happen, though, would have been a logistical nightmare, as many of the Devils players are severely allergic to playing in televised hockey games.

25. David Clarkson wants to petition the league to change his name to David Wraparound. If his application is denied, he’d like to change it to Wraparound Wraparound. If that doesn’t work, he’ll try out Wraparound Dos-Tres.

26. Mike Mottau wear black shoes with brown pants.

27. Andrew Peters wears brown shoes with black pants.

28. In the comfort of his own home, Paulie Martin wears brown shoes with no pants.

29. Martin Brodeur is not going to bother learning the name of his new head coach, although he thinks he may have met that guy somewhere before.

30. Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond thinks “Emrick” is a name like falling down the stairs.

31. Jay Pandolfo is nervous and excited about embarking on his new solo career.

32. Mario Tremblay can’t wait to run Marty Brodeur out of town. He keeps walking up to Marty and saying, “Finish this sentence: ‘This is my last game in…'”

33. Ilkka Pikkarainen is imaginary.

34. Andy Greene always calls dibs on the seat in the very back of the bus, in the hopes that it will earn him some currency with the cool kids. Zach Parise always calls dibs on the seat right next to the head coach. The cool kids try not to make eye contact with him when they file past him to hang out with Greene.

35. If there is a banana peel on the ground anywhere in the world, Dainius Zubrus will find it and slip on it.

36. Paulie Martin thinks it’s hilarious that the team is out of shape.

37. The team thinks it’s hilarious that Paulie Martin has no finish.

38. The Devils are going to surprise no one by not winning the Atlantic Division this year.

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1-2-3 Hockey: 38 of 39

September 29 2009

My sunflower yellow countertop was installed today, and the cats immediately took it for a test drive. — Pookie

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1-2-3 Hockey: 37 of 39

September 28 2009

Ahh, our meager fall decorations — purple mums and our farmshare pumpkin.

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1-2-3 Hockey: 35 of 39

September 26 2009

Last night I finished the last of the triangle points for the Christmas quilts. The technique seems fun and easy, but it’s actually kind of annoying. It’s a big relief to know I don’t have to do them again… until the next time I see a quilt with half-square triangles and fall in love. — Pookie

1-2-3 Hockey: 36 of 39

September 27 2009

I was so tired of dropping my spool of thread and my scissors over the left side of the couch and onto the floor that I decided it was time to make a caddy for them to rest on the right side of the couch. This little gem is from Anna Maria Horner’s book "Seams to Me". Not only is it the perfect resting spot for my scissors and thread (and the USB cord for the camera, not pictured), but it’s also the perfect canvas for the "Apple" fabrics I purchased on a whim a few months ago! (It’s also supposed to serve as a pin cushion, but I love my Dresden plate pin cushion too much to cheat on it.)

Blogged about in more detail here. — Pookie

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1-2-3 Hockey: 34 of 39

September 25 2009

It was finally pumpkin day for our farm share!

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1-2-3 Hockey: 33 of 39

September 24, 2009

My bathroom remodel is zipping right along! Gone are the bland, soulless gray shower tiles! Helloooo black and white drama! ::tile does jazz hands:: — Pookie

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1-2-3 Hockey: 32 of 39

September 23 2009

One of our favorite terrible pictures from our last 365 was a shot of Whole Foods brownie bites on the couch on ANTM night. And so tonight, on ANTM night, when we have Whole Foods brownie bites, we’ve staged a "fancier" photo shoot. In that we plated the brownie. And that we attempted focus this time.

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