In light of his recent ramblings about how he’s washing his hands of any leadership role for the Flyers, IPB conducted an interview with Chris Pronger to see what other passhole-aggresshole thoughts he had about his new team. These were his unedited thoughts.
I’d love to play something other than N*SYNC on the team stereo, but I don’t want to step on Matt Carle’s toes. I’m walking a fucking tightrope here, but at the end of the day, it’s Carle’s iPod.
I’d be all over giving the blandest, least inspiring interviews on the team, but I don’t want to step on Jeff Carter’s toes.
I’d step up to be the player whose implosion derails the entire team in April, but I don’t want to step of Ray Emery’s toes.
I’d enter that “ugliest guy not wearing any mask, make-up, or costume” Halloween contest, but I don’t want to step on Dan Carcillo’s toes.
Sure, I’d be willing to be the guy who gets credit for being smart even though he isn’t just because he played for an Ivy League school, but I don’t want to step on Darrol Powe’s toes. Also, I couldn’t get into Princeton.
I realize that our team is short on severe head injuries this season, and I could really chip in with my head-height elbows in that regard, but I don’t want to step on the toes of our training staff. I think they can take care of reckless endangerment of our heads all on their own.
Of course, I’d like the team to start winning hockey games, but I don’t want to step on John Stevens’ toes.
And in that vein, I could do something to improve our shitty power play and PK, but I don’t want to step on the special team coaches’ toes. I just want to be a respectful contributor to this team. I think those guys have a better sense of the history here.
Just the way I’m not going to tell Mike Richards how to be a good team leader, I’m also not going to tell him how to dress better. If he doesn’t want to dress like the villain from a coming-of-age movie set in a tony prep school, that’s his right. I mean, for all I know, he’s just assessing his wardrobe. I’m not going to tell him he’s doing it wrong.
What the fuck ever happened to that guy I stomped on? I really do want to step on his toes.
I would really love to have the dumbest contract on this team, but I don’t want to step on Danny Briere’s toes.
I’d love to say this team needs a better coach, but I don’t want to step on Paul Holmgren’s toes.