Today we spent our afternoon at our friend Sarah’s house, having a craft day. And by “craft day” we mean we all got some stitching out, parked in the den with a cozy fire, and cleaned out her Tivo while her husband took the kids to a movie. One of the brilliant shows she’s got a season pass for is a TLC doozy called “Four Weddings”; the premise of the show is that four brides (who don’t know each other) pit their weddings against each other’s for a prize of a dream honeymoon. The brides all discuss briefly what their dream wedding is going to be, then they all attend each other’s ceremonies and rate them on a variety of elements (dress, venue, etc). The wedding with the most points wins. It’s as bad and as irresistible as it sounds. We were struck completely speechless by the sheer awesomeness of the show (it strikes an incredible balance between being not at all as shameless or craven as you might think while also being mockable from top to bottom), so imagine how much more speechless we were struck when one bride, in her intro, whipped out this cake:
Yes, Gentle Reader, that’s exactly what you think. The bride, who had the emotional and culinary maturity of a six-year-old, proudly declared “Funfetti is the best cake of all.”
That’s right — the best cake of all. Not “Funfetti’s going to make my wedding look like ass.” Not just a disgusted sigh of “Funfetti.” She said it’s the best cake of all.
And then she said that her dream wedding cake, the actual, real-life cake that was going to be served at her actual, real-life wedding that she was holding up as a standard of wedding greatness worthy of a free honeymoon, was going to be Funfetti.
And then time slowed down and her voice became deep and distorted and portentious as she intoned:
“With a Funfetti cake, we can’t lose.”
And she was right.
What does this mean for the Devils??? A Funfetti wedding cake won a free honeymoon to Punta Cana, and we saw it today on the television. This actually happened. Is it time to reconsider Funfetti? Is the Devils’ Funfetti cake no longer looking like ass? Is it a cake that’s going to the playoffs this year?
How can we not believe?