Archive for September, 2011

One night a week Pookie works the night shift at the reference desk, during which time Schnookie and Boomer discover anew that Pookie truly is the life of the party at stately IPB Manor. When she’s not around, the halls fall dark and silent, and the denizens sulk wordlessly until 10 p.m., when Pookie gets home and we all resume our orbit around the life-giving sun. The off-season is especially difficult because there’s nothing on TV to mitigate the stony, desolate silence, so one of the many reasons Schnookie and Boomer anticipate the start of a new hockey season so eagerly is to have something to watch in Pookie’s absence. Imagine their delight, then, when they took a gander at NHL.com and discovered there is, this week, an actual schedule of actual games actually being played, some of them on TV! Hip hip huzzah!

But then.


The horrible realization:

Schnookie: “There’s hockey on tonight.”

Boomer: “Preseason games already?!”

Schnookie: “Yeah, but it’s Leafs/Sens.”

Long pause.

Boomer: “It’s too soon for that. Let’s not spoil the season before it even starts.”


In further Boomer-related, we’re-only-laughing-because-otherwise-we’d-cry news, we were discussing over the weekend our impressions of Devils training camp so far.

Pookie: “There’s a guy named Wedgewood. I wholly approve of that.” (Yeah, we’re all about the hockey analysis here.)

Schnookie: “But there’s a guy named Petr Sykora. I just… can’t…”

Pookie: “I’m not letting it bother me, because there’s no way he makes the team.”

Schnookie: “There’s no way he doesn’t make the team!”

Boomer: “Not on Lou’s watch.”

Schnookie: “Exactly. This is the guy who brought back 42-year-old Shanahan. He brought back Holik.”

Boomer: “Yeah. The only way Petr Sykora wouldn’t make the team would be if he had a pegleg.”


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V.E. Mats is waking up from his long summer’s nap and he’s ready for some fantasy hockey!

Mats Napping

Are you ready for some fantasy hockey? If so, follow these simple steps!

1. Email andrew, the fearless commish, at a_d_mattson [@] yahoo [dot] com before September 15th. Repeat, before September 15th.

2. If you’ve participated in the Amazing/Superleagues before, this year will be different — there will be no cross-conference requirements! That’s right, you heard us! You can have losers from Edmonton and Florida on your team this year!

3. Watch this space for more information regarding the Auto-Draft. Andrew will make sure you get an invitation from Yahoo! to join the appropriate league (in the past we’ve had to split into two leagues, depending on the number of people). We will determine a date for the Auto-Draft that works for as many people as possible. You can rank players if you wish, but there will be none of that pesky dropping the other conference guys! Yahoo will do the rest of the drafting for you.

4. Cower in fear at facing the super and amazing teams of The Doc Ockxers and The Sisko’s Sporks.

Let the fantasy hockey season begin!

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