We were going to start this season with a bang, with a huge, insightful, world-shaking preview of this year’s sure-to-be-awesome Devils, but then we actually thought about it, and realized we’re woefully unprepared. So… these are the things we know about the Devils:
1. Zach is now the captain. That’s great news! The league needs more Captain Dimpleses, and, after a very trying year of working round the clock to keep his master’s spirits high, this is just the sort of good news that can help brighten Boxworthy’s day. We anticipate that Captain DING! will institute an “everyone is required to arrive at the rink every day with a shiny, red apple for the coaching staff” policy, and will endear himself to all his teammates by insisting the C on his sweater means he’s allowed to tattle every time anyone isn’t paying close attention during video sessions. It’s going to rawk.
2. We love Adam Larsson. Pookie’s proposed season preview post, in fact, was just to say “I’m going to marry Adam Larsson. I’m doodling ‘Mrs. Pookie Larsson’ all over everything.” Pause. “He better not suck.”
3. We still hate Petr Sykora and will never stop hating Petr Sykora no matter what good he might do for the team.
That’s it. That’s all we know.
This is what we don’t know:
1. How the team looked during preseason. We watched two of the games, and during the third period of the second one Boomer said, “I honestly have no idea what to expect from this team this year. Are they being any good here?” (The answer on that night was “no”. They lost.)
2. Who’s even actually on the team. We would try to re-create in this space the conversation we had the other night when we tried to name all of the d-men on the roster, but there aren’t enough ways to write out “dull, stupid silence” to truly convey what it was like. It’s going to be an education for us on Opening Night.
3. What Pando was thinking. He’s an Islander now? PandoNation is collectively sobbing, and has declared its emperor-god is dead to it. Good bye, Pando. We won’t pretend to know who you are until you’re back to being Lou’s intern.
This is what we hope to have happen in the next few months:
1. We hope that we can just enjoy having the Devils back on our TV. Last season started out so soul-crushingly disappointing, and then got so elatingly crazy and good, and then ended on a valiant sort of whimper. This season we don’t think we really have any expectations (except for you, sweet, sweet Larsson, and your “Scott Stevens and Scott Neidermayer all rolled into one” brilliance), so we’d like to be able to cheer the good times, complain to all our interweb friends about the bad, and laugh through it all. Here’s to a fresh new hockey season!