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Archive for March, 2012

Knock Knock! Who’s There?

A new thread!

Bet you didn’t see that coming.

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The other day we were discussing the Devils future over lunch and decided it’s time to start girding ourselves for the possibility of a Zachless existence. It sounds terrible, doesn’t it? What could possibly make that more sufferable? Well, Gentle Reader, you know us — we’re always thinking. And we’ve got a solution that will help not only the Devils but also another favorite team of ours.

If Lou can’t re-sign Zach, he should trade for Ryan Getzlaf. Seriously! We’d love to see Getzi getting to set up Kovalchuk. They’d be an unstoppable scoring machine, and if they weren’t that, then Getzi would be aimless, cranky, and his shirt would fall off a lot, which is almost as good. So, what would the Ducks want in exchange for their captain? Perhaps a return to their glory days of gooning their way to the Stanley Cup, right? Right! So, how can the Devils give them that? Two words: Boulton. Janssen.

WE KNOW! Genius.

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Let’s get a new post up here, one that’ll bring about tons of goal-scoring and game-winning and the like.

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She buys three ducklings and doesn’t name them Bobby Ryan, Ryan Getzlaf, and CoreyPerry CoreyPerry.

If the Devils were in the Pacific Division, we could use this photo six times a year!

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Devils vs. Islanders

We haven’t been doing much hockey analysis here at stately IPB Manor. It could be because things are going pretty well with the Devils. Or it could be because we’re too busy discussing really important things like this:

Pookie: I just put through a request at the library for a DVD called “Super Snake”. It’s a Nat Geo DVD about “nature’s most elegant predator”. It says “National Geographic debunks the myths and reveals the startling truths of the Super Snake.” I wonder what the startling truths are.

Schnookie: I BEG to differ about the snake being the most elegant predator. That’s falsehood number 1. I KNOW MY PREDATORS, and YOU, SIR, are NO elegant predator! ::gazes happily at Siberian tigers knocking peoples’ heads off::

::OR SHARKS::

::OR BEARS::

::OR MOTHERFUCKING CROCODILES::

Man, snakes BLOW.

Pookie: Not Super Snake. He dresses in a tuxedo. And knows which fork to use with which meal. He’s VERY elegant. You should see him dance.

Schnookie: I HIGHLY doubt it. At some point he’ll slip up, most likely at Ascot, where he’ll shout at his horse, “Cor blimey, move yer bloomin’ arse!” He’s FAKE elegant.

Pookie: You’re going to regret it. When Super Snake sends you a polite request for a proper duel, in which he’ll kill you. With his 300 ribs or whatever Nat Geo said he has. Each rib has it’s own elegantly-tied cravat.

Schnookie: Yeah, that SEEMS impressive, but does each elegantly-tied cravat have its own elegantly-tied cravat?

Pookie: No, they don’t. I guess you’re right, super-snakes aren’t Nature’s most elegant predator.

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The Devils have been mired in what we really hope isn’t the beginning of the March Swoon. Maybe it was our previous post that was bringing them bad luck? Let’s see what happens if we freshen things up around here.

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