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Archive for the ‘AmazingLeague/SuperLeague’ Category

V.E. Mats is waking up from his long summer’s nap and he’s ready for some fantasy hockey!

Mats Napping

Are you ready for some fantasy hockey? If so, follow these simple steps!

1. Email andrew, the fearless commish, at a_d_mattson [@] yahoo [dot] com before September 15th. Repeat, before September 15th.

2. If you’ve participated in the Amazing/Superleagues before, this year will be different — there will be no cross-conference requirements! That’s right, you heard us! You can have losers from Edmonton and Florida on your team this year!

3. Watch this space for more information regarding the Auto-Draft. Andrew will make sure you get an invitation from Yahoo! to join the appropriate league (in the past we’ve had to split into two leagues, depending on the number of people). We will determine a date for the Auto-Draft that works for as many people as possible. You can rank players if you wish, but there will be none of that pesky dropping the other conference guys! Yahoo will do the rest of the drafting for you.

4. Cower in fear at facing the super and amazing teams of The Doc Ockxers and The Sisko’s Sporks.

Let the fantasy hockey season begin!

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Since time immemorial (pictured below), the smartest, cleverest, hawtest hockey fans have gotten their fantasy hockey fix via the super and amazing IPB Amazing/Superleagues.

TTV VEM 1

If you’d like to be a part of the smartest, cleverest, hawtest fantasy hockey scene around, now’s your chance.

1. Email andrew, the fearless commish, at a_d_mattson [@] yahoo [dot] com before September 15th. Repeat, before September 15th.

2. Tell him which is your favorite team. Remember, this is a cross-conference league. If you’re a fan of an EC team, your fantasy team must be entirely comprised of WC players. There are no exceptions to this rule. And no trying to bribe andrew with more hookers and blow to try to get around this rule.

3. Watch this space for more information regarding the Auto-Draft. Andrew will make sure you get an invitation from Yahoo! to join the appropriate league (in the past we’ve had to split into two leagues, depending on the number of people). We will determine a date for the Auto-Draft that works for as many people as possible. You will then be responsible for removing all players from the opposite conference before the Draft. You may rank the remaining players as you see fit. Then Yahoo will do the rest!

4. Sit back and enjoy being canon fodder for the powerhouse teams of the Billys Peoplesoxers and Orange Cymballs.

Let the fantasy hockey season begin!

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Dear people who have dropped Paulie Martin from their fantasy teams,

You’re on notice.

Myra.

Love,
Pookie

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Attention IPB Leaguers! This post is for you! (This post is also mostly recycled from last year; we’re all about efficiency here at IPB.) By now you should have received an invite from Andrew to join either the Amazingleague or the Superleague. By now you should have registered your team. And by Thursday, September 24th — and this is the most important thing EVAH — you must exclude all of the players in your favorite team’s conference. If you’re a Blues fan (shudder), you must exclude all, and we mean all, players from Western Conference teams from your draft-eligble players list. If you’re a Panthers fan (what, St. Louis isn’t good enough for you?), you must exclude all, and we mean all, players from Eastern Conference teams from your draft-eligible players list. We mean business on this matter; this fantasy league is meant to be a fun educational experience, dammit! If you do not exclude all the necessary players from your draft-eligible list, and end up accidentally drafting players from the wrong conference, you will have to jettison them from your roster and then you’ll be stuck choosing from the dregs of the correct conference that were left behind. Believe us, that is a fate worse than death.

Now you might be asking, “That’s all well and good, but how do I exclude players, O Wise Ookies?” It’s simple:

1: Click on the “Draft Central” tab.

2: Select “Pre Draft Rankings” at the top of the screen.

3: Above the list of “Default Player Rankings”, there is a small link that reads “Edit My Rankings”.

4: The following screen shows three columns — Excluded Players, List of Players, My Players. You must go through every single player in the List of Players box and move all players from the conference you’re NOT drafting from, using the arrows between the boxes, to the Excluded Players box. This sounds like an unholy terror of a task, but really, it should take about 20 minutes. If you’re slow. And if you’re like Pookie, you’ll ask every few minutes, “Columbus is in the WC, right?” And if you’re like Schnookie, you’ll spend the entire exercise saying, “Thank goodness I’m not drafting from the East. All these players suck!” The most important step of all, once you’ve moved all the players you aren’t allowed to have on your team, is to hit the “SAVE” button at the top of the screen. Because goodness knows, you don’t want to have to do that all again, do you?

The Amazing and SuperLeagues will have auto-drafts, which means that once you’re done sorting your players, you’re good to go. The draft order will be set at random by Yahoo, and then when the computer runs the draft for us, you’ll be given the highest-ranked player available whenever your turn comes up. If you want to go with the pre-set rankings, that works. If you feel the pre-set rankings are totally bogus and don’t give, say, The Iron Boar (ranked number 421 over all) enough respect, then you can set your own rankings in the “My Players” box. The draft will be two days from today (namely: Thursday, September 24), so get sorting!

We’ll be providing updates on both the leagues here on IPB so you can enjoy all the fun and excitement from across the best fantasy league in all the land, but please take note of the message boards and smack talk features on Yahoo. Take note, and use prodigiously. The more swagger and smack talk the better, right? And taking the time to talk smack will help your bolster your self esteem as you face the unenviable task of taking on the juggernaut Craig Andersoxers and The Too Oranges. Starting today, you’re all gunning for second place.

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1-2-3 Hockey: 17 of 39

September 8 2009

One of my birthday presents was a remote for the camera, so that we can use the 100mm on the tripod without moving the camera depressing the shutter. Tonight I tried it out on the marigold seedpod I found in the garden the other day. Thanks to the remote, I was able to take a 100mm with a longer shutter speed! How exciting! — Pookie

Also, there’s still room available in the IPB Yahoo Fantasy Hockey Leagues (a.k.a the Amazingleague and the Superleague)! If you’re interested, please email Andrew at a_d_mattson [@] yahoo [dot] com before the deadline, September 16th. That’s only a week away! The leagues are open to everyone, so send those emails in! Remember, the only catch is that all teams must be comprised of players in the conference opposite form your favorite team, so make sure to tell Andrew which team is your favorite.

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1-2-3 Hockey: 11 of 39

September 2, 2009

The Halloween decorations are up at Lowe’s, including this zany skeleton dude. It’s creepy and eerie!

And now, the important announcement! The IPB Yahoo Fantasy Superleague and Amazingleague are back and better than ever! OK, actually, they’re exactly the same, but that’s beside the point. The point is, if you’d like to join the super and amazing fun, here’s what you’ve gotta do:

1. Email andrew, the fearless commish, at a_d_mattson [@] yahoo [dot] com before September 16th. Repeat, before September 16th.

2. Tell him which is your favorite team. Remember, this is a cross-conference league. If you’re a fan of an EC team, your fantasy team must be entirely comprised of WC players. There are no exceptions to this rule. And no trying to bribe andrew with more hookers and blow to try to get around this rule.

3. Watch this space for more information regarding the Auto-Draft. Andrew will make sure you get an invitation from Yahoo! to join the appropriate league (in the past we’ve had to split into two leagues, depending on the number of people). We will determine a date for the Auto-Draft that works for as many people as possible. You will then be responsible for removing all players from the opposite conference before the Draft. You may rank the remaining players as you see fit. Then Yahoo will do the rest! And by the rest, we mean stacking the Craig Andersoxers and the Too Oranges with all the choicest WC playermeats leaving the rest of you with the dregs and/or EC players.

Let the fantasy hockey season begin!

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Calling all Super/Amazing League participants! We have been discussing, as fantasy hockey GMs are wont to do, the relative states of our rosters, and have noticed a trend in our own behaviors. It seems that we both act like girls when it comes to our teams — we are irrationally attached to some players, irrationally loathe others, and hope above all else to avoid conflict with our GM peers. We will spontaneously decide we simply must dump some guy who’s done nothing to deserve our wrath, peruse the free agent options, sigh heavily at how pathetic they all are, and then gaze wistfully at our opponents’ rosters while thinking, “There’s no way that GM would give the guys up that I want.” Do you do that too, fellow GMs? If so, we have a suggestion: a Super/Amazing League White Elephant Sale. We can’t be the only ones who would be surprisingly willing to give up players other people might think were untouchable, can we? And we can’t be the only ones too timid to propose a trade, can we? Is it time for us to open a dialog about what players are on the table? Is it time for us to start shuffling our imaginary emotional baggage to someone else’s team, in exchange for some other GM’s pretend problems? What say you all?

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