Archive for the ‘IPB Doesn't Eyewitness’ Category

Well, it’s finally back! Yay! And with the new hockey season comes the dawning of the Captain Iron Boar Era, as well as the Acorns Forever Era. These are eras we think we like, but after the Brian Rolston Redux debacle, we try to temper our enthusiasm. You can understand, right, Gentle Reader?

That's Captain Boar To You

Captain Iron Boar casts a long shadow of either awesomeness or injury-proneness. Being Devils fans, we’ll hope for the former but expect the latter.

Anyway, we’d be full of season preview thrills and chills or other deep and insightful blog content (HA!), but we’re actually not going to be around for opening night. We have tickets to a banjo concert. Yeah, hockey, you heard us. A banjo concert. We bought them months ago, when “January 19” sounded a lot like “a Saturday night with nothing on television”. Happy about your stupid lockout now? So, while we’re rocking out with Bela Fleck, we hope the Devils are rocking out with starting their defense of their Eastern Conference crown (HA!).


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So, Gentle Reader, we have all survived another Draft. How exciting! And as difficult as it is to believe, given how thrill-a-minute the Draft is on TV, our not-trip to not-Montreal was equally exciting. Yesterday was our “later rounds of the Draft” day in not-Montreal, and Mats was happy to show off how we would have spent our time if we’d actually been there.

First, he listened to some music — we made special playlists just for this road trip, and Mats was really proud of how his turned out.

Mats Listening To Music

Then, after an exhausting few minutes spent paying only the slightest attention to the later rounds of the Draft, Mats settled in for a long afternoon nap.

Mats Napping

Now that he thinks about it, Mats is actually glad he didn’t end up paying for a hotel room to spend so little time soaking up the sights and sounds of Montreal. Not-road-tripping definitely has its benefits.

Another great benefit of only being not in Montreal? We don’t have to spend today driving home. Instead, we’re going to put up our feet, put on some movies, and stitch the day away.

Mats Sewing

“Wheee!” says Mats. “This is so much more fun than sitting in the car all day! This was the funnest Draft weekend ever!”

Mats with Thread

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Today began bright and early with loading up the car, bidding Stately IPB Manor fond adieu, and setting sail for Montreal*. Before beginning the journey, Victory Euro Mats consulted the trusty nine-years-out-of-date road atlas to make sure the route was properly planned. How’s it looking, Mats?

June 25 2009

Looks like Mats is ready to go! “Wheeee! Road trip!” he squeals.


Because Mats is all about safety (note the sunglasses that double as a face shield), he starts his trip by buckling in. “Click it or ticket,” he chirps.

Buckle Up, Mats!

With the bags stowed in the back, and all occupants of the car safely buckled in, it was time to hit the road. The trip from Stately IPB Manor to Montreal is pretty much a straight shot, but some steering is still required. On previous trips we’ve developed a system of Pookie driving in busier areas and on all on- and off-ramps, while Schnookie does the endurance driving on the highway. This time Mats volunteered to do all of it, so we sat in the back playing cribbage.

Mats Driving

One of the best things about a roadtrip (aside from driving mixes and having an excuse to watch crappy television in hotel rooms) is watching the scenery go by as you drive. This time around we were eager to try out our new wide angle lens in taking photographs of the highways between here and there as we zipped along. Look at how beautiful it is!

Mats On The Road, Or Not

Heeeeey, waaaait… Upstate NY looks an awful lot like our garage… What gives, Mats?

Mats In Trenton

Are we still at Stately IPB Manor? We haven’t gone anywhere, have we?

*OK, not really. Today began shortly after noon when the denizens of stately IPB Manor finally rolled out of bed and began a day of cutting quilt fabric, tweeting about potential Heatley deals like all the other good blogging girls and boys, and enjoying not being at work.

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Gentle Reader, starting some time in January we hatched a hair-brained scheme to hit the road with our closest Flyers/Habs-fan friend kristin for some quality first-hand Draft experiences in Montreal. We mapped routes. We put in for vacation time. We booked hotel rooms. We planned all manner of “how we’re going to meet future NHL superstars” scenarios. And then? Horror. We didn’t win the snooty Montreal Draft ticket lottery, and were left with nothing where the nutmeats of our vacation plans had been. (We would like to say for the record that last year we just emailed the Senators and they more than happily sent us heaps of tickets to the Draft. We think it goes without saying that the Ottawa organization is way awesomer than the Canadiens.)

But even worse than having to cancel our travel plans at the last minute is that we have to cancel our blogging plans too. That’s right — no travel diary for you, Gentle Reader. Instead, we will offer up a non-Travel Diary. Here is what we are not doing tonight:

— Packing all of our coolest hockey-themed t-shirts. Last year the old 2000 Stanley Cup t-shirts were taken out of mothballs for the Ottawa trip (did we mention how much better a Draft that was than this year’s?) and they served us well, as Schnookie was wearing hers when she had her show-down in an otherwise deserted arena concourse with Butthead. Butthead was clearly intimidated.

— Printing up driving directions from Google. Instead, we will write up our own walking directions leading from our beds to the fridge to the couch. That’s all the distance we’ll be traversing over the next five days.

— Planning various and sundry junk foods to eat in the car during the 8-hour drive. Instead we’ll eat those various and sundry junk foods while simply being sedentary for 8 hours. It should be hard, but we’ll persevere.

— Learning to speak French. Suck it, Montreal. (Did we mention we liked Ottawa more than Montreal?)

— Obsessively checking to make sure that we do, indeed, have tickets and that they’re for the 2009 NHL Entry Draft. Instead, we will obsessively check to make sure that we do, indeed, have seasons 3 and 4 of Columbo on DVD.

So stay tuned, Gentle Reader. We will be updating our non-Travel Diary as all the thrills and chills unfold. Join us not on the road, will you?

(UPDATE: We are now offering up-to-the-minute not-on-the-road Draft coverage in our very special new Twitter feed.)

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