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Archive for the ‘Nashville Predators’ Category

Before we start tonight’s diary, we’d like to take a moment to direct your attention to a worthy cause. Our wonderful friend Jean Lea, owner of the most magnificent stitching shop in the world, The Attic Needlework in Mesa, Arizona, hosts an annual silent auction of handmade Christmas tree ornaments to raise funds for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. The auction is happening this Saturday (Nov. 21), and we are feeling very triumphant here at stately IPB Manor because Boomer’s contribution, a collection of little Christmas houses stitched in silk on linen, are the ornaments with the highest set minimum opening bid. Um, not that it’s a competition, but still. Boomer’s a superstar. Heh. If you’re in the market for handmade Christmas tree ornaments and other decorative items, and would like to learn more about the auction (they do take bids over the phone and email), check out the Attic’s website.

Meanwhile, on the ice, the Devils are sporting a fancy new look, one that’s got 100% more Dean McAmmond and Tyler Eckford. Apparently Doc would like the Devils’ new look to be 100% more orange, though, because during the pregame, in talking about the Predators’ two big ex-Devils, he waxes poetic about the good old days when Steve Sullivan and Jason Arnott were Flyers. See? We’re not the only ones!

FIRST PERIOD

16:17 We kind of get caught off guard at the start of the game thanks to finishing off dinner, and when we turn our attention to the game, we are surprised to discover McAmmond is wearing 11. Sentimentality, thy name is Lou.

15:16 Wha? The Devils appear to be ready to clear the puck, with Rolston dawdling along while gaining possession in front of the net, and suddenly Arnott pokes the puck through his slow-poke feet and beats a completely startled Marty to make it 1-0 Predators. When Chico wonders how that play even happened, Pookie explains the obvious, two-part answer: Marty loves giving up goals to ex-Devils, and Rolston is the worst hockey player on Earth.

13:42 The Devils get the opportunity now to get a power play goal and be right back in it, as Chico would say.

11:42 The Devils do not get a power play goal to find themselves right back in it.

11:25 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Colin White is a goal-scoring machine! Or at least Colin White shots are goal-scoring machines. Zach and Travis combine, after a failed attempt at a goal-mouth feed, to retrieve a rebound, feed it out to Whitey at the point, and then set up enough traffic in front to allow Whitey’s shot to beat Rinne (or maybe deflect the shot past him). It’s a 1-1 game, and Chico tells us that Whitey has switched to fancy sticks, on Zach’s recommendation. We are surprisingly charmed by the thought of Zach pressuring Whitey into buying sticks that have fancier features than the workmanlike variety he would normally choose. Pookie: “Zach probably gets kick-backs from Easton. He’s like Bob Vila.”

9:00 Doc is confident that the goal is going to be credited to Zach eventually, and tells us that’s a six-game goal-scoring streak for him now. Schnookie: “You know what? I think Parise’s for real.”

8:41 Tootoo is on the ice, and with him comes those annoying “toot” train whistles from the crowd. If Frisby is participating in that at this game tonight, he’s banned. And we’ll know, Frisby.

6:29 Oh dear. Chico is now trying to tell us about the Finnish version of baseball, as related to him by Pekka Rinne this morning. Or rather, Chico is threatening to tell us about it later, to which Doc says, “I’m looking forward to this.” Pookie: “That makes one of us, Doc.”

5:36 We come back from commercial to Chico telling us about this Finnish baseball, and this is what he ends up telestrating:

Chico's On Crack

The game is called “pesapallo”, and Pookie cracks that Finns everywhere would look at Chico’s illustration and be like, “That guy’s insane. Our game is just like baseball. Where is he getting these ideas?” Then she looks it up online and reports, stunned, “Either Chico’s actually right, or he’s constructed an elaborate Wikipedia ruse.”

0:52 Oh god. The tooting. Make it stop!

0:22 Sometimes Zach’s the gong-er, and sometimes he’s the gong-ee. He gets a mini-break here, but only has time for a midrange slapshot that Rinne stops and deflects out of play with his head. After the whistle, Patty and Tootoo take coincidental minor penalties. Probably because Patty can’t stand listening to that stupid tooting anymore.

FIRST INTERMISSION

The break in action here is a great opportunity to check out this really cool video of what is essentially a human keyboard that we saw on Mental Floss today.

SECOND PERIOD

19:00 Zach starts his second period by cranking a giant shot at Rinne. Pookie: “Zach looks like he wants to score a real goal tonight.”

18:52 Zubrus starts his second period off with a bang by blocking a shot that leaves him hobbling sadly to the bench.

17:13 Clarkson tangles with Tootoo, probably just to silent those dumb whistles, and ends up getting a penalty for holding.

16:03 Two of the Devils PKers lose their sticks, so the Preds are, as Doc exclaims, playing a 5-on-2, but before anything horrible can happen, Patty coolly breaks up the attack and clears the zone. Good penalty killing is so foxy.

13:36 It is a shooting gallery in the Devils zone right now, but the Predators keep failing to register actual shots thanks to lots of missing the net and shockingly smart play by Eckford.

12:35 The Devils put on a clinic of terrible defensive-zone turnovers and generally looking completely hapless in their own end, and Schnookie finally shouts in exasperation at the TV, “You guys are all fired!” Just then, a tic-tac-toe passing play down low by the Preds gets broken up by some an extremely calm, deft Devils d-man. Pookie: “Whoa. Who was that? That wasn’t—no, he got sent down…” Schnookie: “That was Mottau.” Pookie, shocked: “Applesauce??

10:50 Before an offensive-zone draw for the Devils, MSG+ gives us a close-up shot of Peters and Tootoo yapping sort of lamely at each other. We spend a few moments making up a series of not-very-funny conversations they could be having, and Pookie finally breaks through with: “Peters says ‘Give a hoot. Bench me!’” It’s hard work, people.

3:15 Yikes. This period is almost over. It seems like the Predators have been the better team so far.

1:54 Pookie: “The one thing I’m getting vibes about is Zach scoring a real goal, and it seems like he’s not going to. And the Devils are playing like crap. I can’t believe my vibes could be wrong.”

0:16 The one Devil not playing like crap? Marty, who makes an amazing kick save on a point-blank shot by Tootoo after Marty had missed a sweeping stick check around the side of the net.

0:10 Eckford takes a penalty on the rebound after Marty’s huge save.

0:00 Doc tells us as the teams head to the dressing rooms that the Devils had 12 shots in that period. We don’t believe it. As we wait for Gel-O to appear with our intermission interview, Doc reads a promo for the Devils game on Wednesday the 25th, at which fans 18 or older will receive a compact fluorescent lightbulb. Which is a nice idea, but we’ve already switched to CFLs. If we go to that game, can we have, like, game-used equipment or something cool instead?

THIRD PERIOD

Before the puck drop, Doc suddenly starts talking over some flavoring shots of Nashville, “It’s Nashville. There are lots of places here for a duck.” Sure enough, we then see Chuck the Duck perched in the foreground of a shot of a local act performing, and he seems to have a garbage can tucked under his wing. Doc is puzzled by the garbage can. We can only assume that Chuck is a heavy drinker.

In other news, Zubrus will not return to this game.

18:51 Stupid Jason Arnott. He scores after some good puck movement by the Predators PK. It’s 2-1 Nashville.

16:06 This game blows.

15:21 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! This game doesn’t blow anymore! Of all the crazy things, Dean McAmmond — Dean McAmmond — carries the puck around behind the Nashville net, hanging on to it until Zach starts crashing the net, then tosses it out in front for Zach to tap through Rinne. 2-2 game, and Schnookie asks Pookie, “Does that count as a real goal for Zach?” Pookie: “No.”

11:00 When asked by Doc, Chico informs us that no, Zach does not ever get tired.

5:56 Not more tooting!

5:12 MSG+ gives us a photo tour of the various Devils fans in attendance in the lower bowl, but neglect to show Frisby. Did he wear a Predators sweater tonight? To be better attired for using his tootoo whistle?

4:48 The official announcement comes down that the scorers have credited, at long last, the first Devils goal to Zach. Chico wonders why it took so long, and Pookie posits, “The smoke finally turned black.”

4:01 We are puzzled. A timeout has been called, out of the blue, and we hope aloud that it’s one of those terrible McTavish-type timeouts that cause the other team to lose to the Devils. But then we find out it was Lemaire who called it. Crap. Now the Devils are never going to win!

0:00 Okay, so the timeout wasn’t the Devils’ undoing. They get to the end of regulation tied at two. We’ll take it!

OVERTIME

3:22 A pair of Predators run into each other while trying to gain the Devils zone and cough up the puck. Rolston pounces on it, darts up the ice, and tries to blast a shot through Rinne, but alas, even when he’s being good, there’s still too much “worst hockey player on earth” in him to make a play like that work.

1:49 Marty gets completely hung out to dry when Andy Greene and the Iron Boar spend about a month waiting to invent the perfect play when they have full possession of the puck behind the net before finally coughing it up to the Predators in front. Marty is, however, up to the challenge.

0:00 Well, it wasn’t the Devils’ best game ever, but it also wasn’t their worst. We’re not too upset with a tie, all things considered.

SHOOTOUT

We don’t normally have anything to say about the shootout, but tonight Doc makes a point of telling us that ZZ Pops is taking the shootout, going in Zach/Langer/Travis order. Pookie sniffs, “It’s more Z Pops Z in this case.” It should be noted that one of the little house ornaments that Boomer made for the silent auction we mentioned at the start of the game had an error in the pattern. When the panels were all assembled into the little house shape, instead of saying “Home Sweet Home Christmas”, it says “Home Home Sweet Christmas.” Pookie dubs this shootout order the “Home Home ZZ Pops”.

Zach fails to score on his shot attempt, and then this Santorelli kid beats Marty by skating at full steam directly at Marty and then lasering a shot right through him. We crack up. It’s the Lord Nelson move – never mind the maneuvers, just go straight at him. And then what the hell???? Travis, needing to score to keep the shootout alive, loses the puck when it bobbles over his stick, but manages to keep his forward momentum while reaching behind himself to backhand what one presumes is meant as a face-saving lame-assed shot attempt… that catches Rinne completely by surprise and skitters into the net. Of course, the next shooter for the Preds scores on Marty, so it’s all for naught, but that might be the funniest shootout goal we’ve ever seen. We can now all let go of that first time Scott Gomez scored by totally whiffing on his shot (which was charming the first time, then cheeky when he did it next on purpose, then became proof of what a complete dick he is every time after), because there’s a new “adorable shootout goal by mistake” sheriff in town.

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Well, tonight’s the night we get our first look at Brendan Shanahan, New Jersey Devil 2.0. We are not thrilled. You know how every sports fan has that first experience where you discover the sad truth that pro sports is “just a business” and the players you cheer for don’t care about you or the team you love? Well, that moment for us was when Shanny stripped himself of the C and demanded a trade from the Whalers. The first hockey game we ever attended in person was Whalers/Islanders, in Hartford. We spent much of our first season as hockey fans watching the Whale on Center Ice, totally charmed by the Whaler unis, the Forslund/Reaugh broadcast tandem, and the personable, foxy young Shanny. Then we opened our second season as fans with a harsh dose of the reality of professional sports, and we have hated Shanahan ever since. We hated that he then had heaps of praise dumped on him for being such a valiant champion in Detroit and hated him triply when he became a high-profile Ranger. And now he’s essentially functioning as a rental player with the Devils, and to add insult to injury, it’s Pando who’s getting benched to make room for him. That’s right — Pando is being benched to make room for Brendan fucking Shanahan. It’s like some sort of sick joke; Pando’s being replaced by the Anti-Pando. No, Pando hasn’t done anything this season to justify leaving him in the lineup (that only makes this worse), but if Shanny thinks it’s going to be an easy way back into our hearts, he’s living in a dream world. Hell, if Lou thinks it’s going to be an easy way back into our hearts, he’s also living in a dream world. We are not happy. At all. And it’s not like there’s even some shred of “Well, at least he signed with the Devils of his own free will, so supposedly he wants to play for our beloved team” goodwill for him. No, the reason Shanny’s a Devil is because they’re the only team in the New York metropolitan area that would take him. So… yay?

FIRST PERIOD

19:35 Paulie tries to get our flagging spirits up by doing a sassy little spinarama Houdini move to keep the puck at the blue line. Pookie has a theory that the Pando-being-replaced by the Anti-Pando storyline is like something out of a bad superhero movie, but worries that Pando isn’t superhero enough to win out in the end. Schnookie suggests that the rest of the team will have to avenge him. After a few more nice keeps by Paulie and Travis, Pookie says, “Maybe they really are going to avenge him!”

18:26 We’re hoping it’s just our TV that’s so bright, because if the ice in Nashville actually does look like this, it’s a miracle the players can see anything.

16:18 We fail to notice that Shanny was on the ice. It must have been the blinding-bright ice, because it’s hard to miss a hulking slow guy with horse teeth wearing a Brylin sweater.

15:26 Pookie finally verbalizes what it is about the Holik and Shanahan signings we hate so much: “They’re turning the Devils into Old NHLer Island.” We thought we were rid of Old NHLer Island after the second year after the lockout. Guess we were wrong.

14:34 The Pando avenging isn’t going well. Rolston lazily hooks a Pred at the Jersey blue line and gets the Predators fans doing that cute “air quotes meet fangs” thing with their fingers to signify an impending Nashville power play.

10:05 We are totally distracted by the lighting from the ice here. Schnookie: “I can’t see the players. All I see are black shorts floating around out there.” Pookie: “All I see is a fuzzy white nimbus around the ice.” Pause. “And that fan blowing that whistle repeatedly isn’t helping. This game is like someone using a jackhammer outside my bedroom at 7:00 on a Saturday morning.”

9:02 Just after we get a close-up look at Shanahan before an offensive-zone draw, Holik takes a catastrophically idiotic penalty and we cut to a close-up of him shaking his head at the official. Pookie: “Ugh! That last 30 seconds was the most disgusting thing I’ve seen on television since Zednik got his throat cut.”

6:24 Rupp and Belak fight.

IPB Fight

Afterwards, they spend a ridiculously long time with Rupp down on the ice and Belak standing over him while two officials negotiate the process of the two letting go of each other’s sweaters. Pookie: “I have no problem with fighting in hockey, but I wish they could make a rule that guys have to let go of each other right away. We’re wasting 25 seconds here while they refuse to be the first one to let go. It’s a useless delay of the game.”

5:47 Clemmer stops a shot from a modestly bad angle, and the rebound gets away from him despite his posture of “I totally got that”. Schnookie: “That’s the second time I’ve noticed that he went to stop something looking all like he’s freezing the puck, and then all of a sudden the puck is in the corner.” Pookie: “He’d probably tell you it’s his superior acting skills, psyching out the opponent.”

3:17 After the Rupp/Belak fight, Chico mentioned that the game had “lots of energy”, thereby sending us off on a tangent about how the energy has been like surface-of-the-sun energy, retina-searing energy, blinding energy thanks to the brightness of the ice. That naturally led to a bunch of Pi jokes, about how we’d spend this game staring into the glare of the rink and then, at the end, we’ll know the total value of pi, but have to lobotomize ourselves with power drills. As the Devils work a not-tremendously-effective bit of cycling, Pookie sighs, “If you guys keep this up, by the end of this shift I’m going to know the total value of the angles in a triangle. Which isn’t very impressive, considering I know that already and I sucked at math.”

2:50 The annoying fan has not stopped; Pookie: “Dude, I am going to get in my car, drive down to Nashville, find that fan…” Pause. “And ask them politely to stop.”

0:00 We’re not going to lie – we didn’t pay very close attention to that period. Apparently shots were 14-8 Predators, and our vague sense of the game so far is that that sounds about right. Gel-O interviews Langer, and keeping with the mood, we don’t really pay attention.

FIRST INTERMISSION

Gel-O sits down with Zach to talk about the All-Star Game. He asks Zach what he took from the Young Stars game in Dallas, and we chorus, “A plastic star.”

SECOND PERIOD

19:44 Ah, the avenging begins now! Legwand takes a penalty to kick off the period.

19:41 Hamhuis wants to avenge Pando, too! He takes an interference penalty immediately off the face-off to start the Devils PP, and it’s two-man scorched-earth time. Do it for Pando, boys!

18:53 This power play is… not going well. Pookie: “I’m beginning to think triangles have angles that total 20 degrees.”

18:22 Wooo. The horse-toothed guy in the Brylin sweater scores, it’s 1-0 Devils, and yeah, we feel dirty. Pookie says of the replay, “It’s like the Predators are on the ice, the Devils are on the ice, and there’s Shanahan. And he’s just hanging out scoring goals for whichever team will pay him the most while being close to his kids’ school.” Yes, we’re glad the Devils have a goal, we’re glad they have a lead, if this is the final score we’ll be glad for the win, but we just can’t be happy about it right now. Especially considering the celebration on the bench is, as Pookie points out, on a Pandoless bench. Schnookie fights back tears. We’re not sure it counts as avenging Pando if it’s the Anti-Pando doing the scoring.

16:39 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Rollie carries the puck way up to the tippy top of the high slot, wheels around over it, cranks a giant slapper, and Clarkson is in front to tip it artfully into the net to make the game 2-0 Devils.

15:00 A bracket pops off the glass and we have a little delay, during which the camera pans back a bit at the Devils end… and we have a Frisby sighting! Hi Frisby!

13:30 The Devils are milling about the Nashville zone doing not much, and Pookie suddenly says, “Hey! I think someone is reading our diary – the ice is a lot less bright!” That would also explain why the Devils have scored in this period: they were finally able to stop trying to find the goal through their little solar eclipse goggles.

12:54 We get a long look at a dullardish Shanny on the bench.

shanny-on-bench

Schnookie: “It’s so good that they have that guy in the prison over his shoulder there. Because that’s Pando.”

12:15 Chico is talking about Sullivan and his Devils career, and he mentions that Sully got 13 goals with New Jersey. Pookie and Boomer both marvel that the total is so low, and they would both have thought he’d done much better than that. Schnookie, an absolute fount of sunshine and puppydogs this evening, grumbles, “Meh, he sucked.”

11:47 We have a Frank Doyle sighting! Or rather, mention. Doc tells us that our favorite hard-boiled private dick from the Devils system was an AHL All-Star Game MVP once.

9:50 Dear lord! We have a Jim McKenzie sighting! He’s in the crowd at this game with his disinterested-looking kids. His legacy as a Devil is summed up well by Pookie: “This may be revisionist history, but I think I liked him.”

7:29 Jim McKenzie’s legacy as a Devil is further summed up by Pookie: “You know, when they first showed Jimmy Mac in the crowd I thought, ‘Huh. Steve Kerr is here.’ And then Doc said, ‘Every Devils fan should recognize him!’ and I was like, ‘Really? Steve Kerr?’”

6:53 The Patty/Gio/Zubrus line does not score on a four-on-two, and then Sullivan doesn’t score on a one-on-Paulie the other way, in large part because of a sweeping defensive play. Schnookie: “Was that Paulie’s helicopter move?” Pookie: “That was his ‘helicopter hitting water’ move.”

5:30 Pookie discovers, thanks to TG, that Predators fans apparently blow whistles when Tootoo is on the ice. Get it? Tootoo/toot? Yeah. Schnookie: “Well, I guess you’re going to have to find lots of fans and politely ask them to stop.”

3:59 The ice is doing it again. Aiiieee! It burns! It burns! That, and 3.14159265… [/power drill]

2:50 Doc tells us the Devils are third in the league in road points. The two teams ahead of them are the Bruins and Red Wings. Considering that the Bruins and Red Wings have way more points overall than the Devils, we guess those two teams are, unlike the Devils, also capable of winning at home.

2:02 Pookie: “Tootoo fans, can you do that somewhere else?”

0:00 We paid more attention to that period and were, per the scoreboard, duly rewarded. But in our hearts, we’re still sad about half of it. Gel-O interviews Clarkson, but before he does, though, we get another “stats from Shanny’s interminably long career” screen that fails to mention that he was our inaugural Ring Whore.

SECOND INTERMISSION

Gel-O sits down with Weekesie and he is, per usual, the Anti-Clemmensen. (Read: we really like him.) He delightfully says of the road trip, “At home we all have commmitments, family and friends, and the days go by so quickly. But here, we just have each other.” Except for Pando. Pando has no one.

THIRD PERIOD

19:09 We shouldn’t laugh, but seriously, if you could pick one player to have had his new house burn down, Jason Arnott would be the one you’d pick, right? It is not even remotely surprising to hear that this happened to him – it’s the Arnott way. (That said, we are very glad to hear that no one was hurt.)

17:59 Pookie thinks the whistles for Tootoo are for how he always gets called for penalties. Schnookie stands by the “toot toot!” thing, though. Just in case you were wondering, Gentle Reader.

17:42 Chico tells us this arena holds great memories for Zach of getting drafted by the Devils. This sends us into paroxysms of laughter, as there is nothing in the world funnier than the sequence of pictures from the draft that show his little heart breaking into smaller and smaller pieces with each pick that passes him by. Pookie: “He was totally cat-carrier Zach refusing to come into the building tonight. He was like, ‘I say, I won’t go in there! You can’t make me go in there! No, wait, I was happy to be picked 17th. That’s totally what I wanted.’”

16:40 Paulie has yet another smooth, deft, sassy defensive play that prompts Pookie to say, “Paulie’s like really high-quality vanilla ice cream. In that he’s easy to ignore, but when you do notice him, he’s awesome.”

15:46 Applesauce pulls Legwand’s foot out from under him while he’s cutting a corner, and goes to the box. Meanwhile, Pookie is still worrying about something Chico said during play earlier: “Did he say ‘Che Weber’? Should I be worried that he’s going to lead an uprising of the BoxPanners against me?”

15:11 Travis gets a long shorthanded quasi-break up the wing, but isn’t able to cut around the goalie while the Predator backchecker gets back into the play. We take his not being able to finish as a shout-out to Pando. Which is fitting, considering TravisNation is a rogue state being formed by the corrupt ruling priest class in the Western Territories of PandoNation on the emperor-god’s land grants.

13:54 Whitey deflects in incoming slapshot up into his own face, and skates quickly off the ice, spitting copious quantities of blood.

13:21 Boomer, whose given name is Karen (she doesn’t even go by that in real life), has recently started reading the news on AudioVision, a radio broadcast for the New Jersey Library for the Blind. She was told to go by whatever name she wanted on air, so she chose “Karen Mott”, in honor of her Devils husband Applesauce. So when Applesauce gets back in the play after getting out of the box and breaks up the Preds attack, Pookie exclaims, “Great play by Mr. Karen Mott!”

12:07 Tootoo gets called for high sticking, and there isn’t a sizable uptick of whistles from the crowd, suggesting it’s a “toot toot” thing and not a penalty thing.

11:35 That power play didn’t last long, thanks to Captain Eh, Fuck This, who gets called for interference. There is much confusion on the call, and we get a long look at Paulie standing next to an official at center ice and gesticulating in bafflement. It looks like he’s thinking, “Vanilla ice cream? That sounds spicy.”

8:02 Zach yoinks a puck away from a Pred defender, then, with his motor going a million miles an hour, rips a shot past Rinne that clangs off the crossbar. He’s never going to score again.

6:32 Clarkson scoops the puck directly over the glass, then tries to argue that he shouldn’t really get a penalty for it. The officials have a little conclave that Rollie tries to crash, but to no avail. Predators power play.

5:48 The Predators finally break through, ending the Devils’ perfect PK string for this road trip. We see a fallen d-man in front of the net, and Pookie wails, “Oh no! Is Mottau hurt?” Schnookie: “Mr. Karen Mott!” Boomer: “He needs to get up – the visually-impaired seniors in New Jersey are counting on him for their news.” Replay shows it’s actually the Iron Boar going down, having taken a point shot in his Iron Bits. Chico tells us after the replay, “A timeout is being called by…” and he pauses while trying to figure out who called it. Pookie concludes for him, “Bryce Salvador.” It’s 2-1 Devils.

4:41 The Devils respond to the goal with a mightily furious offensive-zone shift, but manage pretty much just one little chip shot on goal.

4:36 The Predators goal is credited to Radek Bonk. Surely he died in Vegas?

3:14 If the Preds are having attendance problems, it might be because of all those whistles. Seriously. They should look into that.

1:56 What is fucking happening to our team? Who are these guys in Devils sweaters? A Predator winds up to fire a shot from the center of the blue line, and not one but two Devils topple over to leave their feet to attempt to block it. Needless to say, neither stops the incoming shot, and all kinds of chaos ensues because no one’s in position anymore because they’re all splayed out up near the blue line. GAH! Stop doing that! (Replay shows one of them was Shanahan. No fucking kidding. This isn’t the Rangers anymore, Horse Teeth. Stay on your feet. Pando never leaves his feet. Pando’s a hero. Waaaah!)

0:13 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! What the hell is that? The Devils win a defensive zone draw, then Patty feeds the puck to Zach on their way out of the zone, and Zach scores. Into an empty net. An empty net goal! We never thought we’d see the day. 3-1 Devils.

0:00 WOOOOOO! The Devils win, and, as ridiculous as it sounds, they are in first place in the Atlantic Division. That seems sort of bizarre, all things considered.

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