Posted in "I Was One Of Those Saps Herbert", *Clank!*, 3-2-1/1-2-3 Hockey, Bummerdude, Calling For The Gutless Pukes' Heads On Plates, Devils, Free Agency, Ilya Kovalchuk?!?!?!? WTF????, News and Notes, Off-Season, Players Come Players Go, Sad, Sadder, Saddest, This Is No Laughing Matter on August 9, 2010|
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3-2-1 Hockey: 13
Not too long ago, we were all elated because the Devils had signed Ilya Kovalchuk. There was much hoopla and rejoicing, and there was a big press conference (their first one ever!!11!!!!1!), and it was all going to be awesome. And then the NHL rejected the contract. And then we found out that the team knew the contract was going to be rejected but went ahead with the announcements and the “ooh, ooh, buy season tickets!” crap anyway. And then the NHLPA grieved the contract rejection, so we all had to wait for arbitration. And today the arbitration came down in favor of the league. So Victory Euro Mats did what any sane unofficial Devils mascot would — he found a sturdy beam on the patio table out on the deck, and hanged himself.
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Posted in *Clank!*, Bummerdude, Devils, Free Agency, Huh?, Ilya Kovalchuk?!?!?!? WTF????, Insightful Hockey Commentary, News and Notes, Off-Season, Players Come Players Go, Sad, Sadder, Saddest, The Opposite Of Pandodoodling, This Is No Laughing Matter, Totally Totally Depressing on July 21, 2010|
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The scene: ChucklesNation International airport, in the deserted arrivals hall.
Gary Bettman darts out of a shadowy doorway, slinks around the perimeter of the hall, forages a half-eaten cinnabon from a garbage can, hisses softly at the Ookies, then scurries away.
The Ookies: “We got our cymballs out of storage for that?”
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